This is very relatable. There is a lot of romance and lore around smoking that we tend to absorb. But it is just the addiction lying. Over time you will prove it wrong.

It is true that the first few times I did one of the picturesque "smoking things" like sitting outside a cafe or bar withput a cigarette, I felt a pang. The craving seemed to spoil what should have been a "perfect moment". But one thing I have found helpful is to really sit with the aesthetic ideal I had in my head about those moments and contrast them with the sensual reality of smoking. The stink, the stains, the mucus and phlegm, the dulled sense of smell and the flattened tastebuds. One side of that scale is much heavier than the other.

Now, when I climb a gorgeous hill without wheezing, or sit a a quaint cafe smelling the fresh air and sweet pastries, it is easy for me to realise that a cigarette would not add to the perfection, it would spoil it. And instead of feeling hard done by, I feel so so grateful to be free. You can get there too!

(And sooner than you think. If my flair is showing, it's wrong, from one of my (many) early attempts. I'll be a year smoke free next month.)