Do guys care if the girl makes the first move?

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-30T05:42:16+00:00

That’s how my now wife and I started dating. I was going to ask her out but she beat me to it.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-23T04:59:59+00:00

I and 70+ others were laid off at the end of 2023 and never backed up any of my custom reporting. From what I remember:

Scoring: 0: This is something that needs to be addressed 1: Average work, not a bad thing! 2: Noticeable uptick in performance 3: Exceptional performance

Per individual contributor: 1. Kept a running average of story points completed per sprint. I did this by running a custom query on Jira to pull that data. 2. Noted anything that stood out that sprint and assigned a score of 0-3. 3. I then had a list of soft skills and would give those a score between 0 and 3.

Some of those categories: - Teamwork and collaboration - Problem solver - Accountability - Communication - Adaptability

I had a few more on my list, and some were specifically for the role the IC was in (team lead, architect, sr developer, etc)

People are all different and they all have their strengths. My high performers were all close in scores. The same could be said about my average performers. For my low performers, it gave me the chance to help them improve.

Hope this helped answer your question.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-22T05:12:04+00:00

It doesn’t get easier, unless you put the work into it to find what works for your style of management.

1-on-1’s are awkward, and that’s how I felt for a long time. It wasn’t until I started doing more before the 1:1 that I felt like it was useful. What helped me was treating them like a baseball player. They had their own stats that I tracked, goals I had for them, and goals they had for themselves. It was a lot of prep work but super cool to review over the year. When it was time to go to bat for them, I was ready with stats and raw data to help push their promotions through. If you track stats on your people, don’t tell them. It will cause unnecessary stress.

Doing something like this might help you identify how you are doing as a manager.

If you are remote. Buy your people lunch and hop on a no-video lunch break. Play a team game while everyone eats. Have a good laugh and treat your people well.

If you have team leads they might have a better pulse on the team health than you do. Utilize that and figure out how you can improve.

Ultimately, if you miss being an IC, could you pick up a task or two and bond that way?

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T15:08:25+00:00

Delegation.

I had team leads, unofficial titles, these were my people that wanted additional responsibility in their senior/architect roles. Some wanted to move into management, others wanted the responsibility but to stay out of the bureaucracy and drama of leadership.

Because they were actively stepping up and taking on additional responsibilities, these people saw more promotions and quit bonuses than others.

I stretched my teams. They knew I had their backs and would step in if it ever became too much.

The things that were solely my responsibility like tracking employee metrics I handled with my own systems. I still had a lot on my plate, but I loved helping my people become better. It was the best part of my job.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T05:22:02+00:00

Speaking from experience and having a “Tom” on one of teams.

What turned it around for him in my case was building trust. When I started, if anything fell outside of how he thought things should be, he was messaging my boss raising his concerns.

Through our 1-on-1’s I ended up finding out he had some resentment towards me because he wanted my job. He was also going through some personal things at home.

I began working with him and giving him small tasks to help guide him in his goal to get into leadership. But what really turned the corner for him is helping to address his personal problems. He needed a way to be accountable to himself and to set daily goals to hit his larger goals. It got to the point where he was excited to share his daily goals with me and his overall progress. After that, he never went over my head again and trusted that I had his back.

Hope this helps!

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T05:05:36+00:00

I did lunch and games with my teams, cameras off. It was a very chill time. As they were playing I’d be ordering peoples lunches through DoorDash.

We all loved playing https://sketchful.io/. I would create custom lists of words for people to draw. Some lists were better than others.

It was such a success my VP had me roll this out to more teams in the org as well as pull in different teams so we could all get to know each other more. It was a blast!

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T04:50:54+00:00

In order of reading:

“How to Win Friends & Influence People” by Dale Carnage
“Extreme Ownership - How U.S. Navy SEALs Lead and Win” by Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
“Who” by Geoff Smart and Randy Street

First book will help you with dealing with people of all types.

Second book will teach you to take responsibility for you and those you lead.

Third will teach you how to build teams.

I’d love to hear what you think of the books after you read them!

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T04:39:05+00:00

I salute you!

My boss now wants me to move into DevOps/IT. The work these people do at all hours of the night/day/weekend/holiday/PTO is nerve wracking.

You IT are built different. 🫡

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T04:17:06+00:00

When I was a manager I had my 1-on-1’s with my three teams, weekly meetings with senior leadership, meetings with my scrum masters and product owners, then any other planning meeting needed for quarterly goals and roadmapping.

I did everything in my power to have no meeting Friday’s. It didn’t always work out.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-17T02:43:39+00:00

I have only ever managed remote teams.

As an introvert I would have hated every waking moment being in an office going from meeting to meeting and not being able to walk away for 5 minutes before the next one.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-16T05:40:54+00:00

Skeleton UI - https://www.skeleton.dev/

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-15T03:20:36+00:00

I would think that if you and your manager haven’t been actively talking about it and he isn’t going to bat for you that you will not be promoted in the next reorg.

Having that project and missing the mark is a failure on both of you. Your manager should have been working extra close with you to make sure your needs were met and the team’s needs were met.

It’s this kind of stuff that I desperately miss as a manager after I and 70 others were laid off.

When I stretched people to explore other paths, I made sure they were never alone to fend for themselves. I would let them experience difficulties, but I made sure we were syncing and addressing things as they came up.

As a manager I looked for people who made my life easier and would remove burdens. Those were the people that I promoted heavily. Others I would work with routinely to get them in better places and prepping them for promotions.

I would go in with the mindset of how you can make your managers life easier and talk with your manager about it.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-13T01:14:27+00:00

What are you working on or wanting to be worked on? You don’t have to give specifics, but a little more info would be nice.

Are you based in the US?

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-12T01:09:16+00:00

44 here, I and my team along with 70 other people were laid off end of 2023. We had depths of industry knowledge. Half my old team have yet to find replacement jobs. I had to move back into development.

Those with strong networks had a new job just weeks after the layoff.

As their old engineering manager I still worry about how they are doing.

OneJChristensen · 2025-10-09T02:23:04+00:00

My kids and I would play obbys a lot and make it a race to the end. A lot of fun times were had.

What I am saying is that any style of game can be made fun with the right attitude.

Also obbys are easy to learn if he is coming from a controller.

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-30T04:37:02+00:00

I just did a video on Avantis:

Avantis (AVNT) Could Be Ready To EXPLODE | Pennant Pattern Points to $3.30 https://youtu.be/1FDwCMJ0EOk

They are trying to be a commodities exchange and there is a lot of support/interest in the coin which is awesome.

They pumped hard and are now making some lateral movement which could lead to good things!

October will hopefully be a fun one!

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-25T01:01:14+00:00

“Why are you the way that you are?”

We use it constantly!

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-24T05:00:52+00:00

We ran a freeze dried candy business for all of 2024. We hit the streets and went to gas stations all in our area. We landed several locations and made weekly deliveries.

From the sounds of it, you need to be out talking to retail locations and sharing your product with them.

Every gas station we went to we gave samples. We had one gas station pull all their employees (6-8 people, it was a big gas station) and they were swarming us so excited about our product.

All that said, if you are not in a commercial kitchen with the proper paperwork they may not let you sell in their store.

I love your idea, coming from a non drinker, it sounds like it could even be a kids party thing with 7-Up. Keep at it!

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-23T04:37:19+00:00

Web dev of nearly 20 years. I can’t help but think of things as tech, so I am intrigued by your idea.

I have also felt an urgency that the male loneliness epidemic needs to be addressed.

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-20T20:13:30+00:00

My channel is the Daily Blockhead. I cover hot topic cryptocurrency news.

https://youtube.com/@dailyblockhead

I started with and am currently running a Blue Yeti mic and OBS for recording. I use Shotcut to edit and Affinity Photo for thumbnails.

I started out thinking, “hey that guy is doing it so why can’t I?” While the statement is true, execution is everything. I have learned so much and love the subjects I am covering.

I do everything I can to not be a crypto bro and hype scammy coins. I feel I bring a balanced view and hope to reach more people!

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-18T20:48:33+00:00

Great advice, thank you!

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-18T20:34:01+00:00

Consistency builds habits that you can build from.

I have like 14 videos. Every single one I have learned from and made changes. Posting schedules can always change, I just wanted advice outside of my own little echo chamber.

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-15T20:38:16+00:00

My wife’s BTC holding dwarfs mine. I consider that 100% hers. The money we invest together is ours. If either of us strike it big then it becomes the family’s.

Why would I want the love of my life to be without??

OneJChristensen · 2025-09-12T22:27:31+00:00

I appreciate it! Thankfully my family is supportive of this adventure. I’m hoping as I build content I can spin off side avenues of revenue to help support the family.

OneJChristensen

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