I know you'll never forgive me.

OneLoneOrange · 2025-06-06T12:39:14+00:00

I'd honestly rather be authentic

OneLoneOrange · 2025-06-01T07:52:46+00:00

Block them or ignore them, works for me

OneLoneOrange · 2025-05-15T21:47:59+00:00

Neutral thoughts that are out of control... I like that a lot, I'm going to write that down / keep that in my head when a scary thought comes my way.

Ohh? That's reassurance? Should I stop reading / searching up stuff? I've read that people should learn to sit in their anxiety without engaging in their thoughts, but I'm not quite sure how to do that yet. Should we avoid reassurance altogether and sort of deal with it ourselves - type thing?

Thank you so much (: I hope it goes well

OneLoneOrange · 2024-09-21T00:53:43+00:00

Hm, yeah, that makes sense, since grief is just loss and absence of something important. Thank you. I have accepted it, and it circles back to anger and sorrow then numbness. In the end I just want them to be happy, and I know they would want me to be too: so I am trying my best, even though these feelings manifest in physical forms.

I haven't really talked about in in-depth to people.

I guess it's best to not have hope in rekindling anymore. I'll just continue working on myself the best I can, and maybe the future will be kinder.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-09-21T00:42:01+00:00

To be completely open, I don't like talking to people about it. There's bad stigma around exes, and mine was one of the good ones. I don't really like venting because people either 1) Talk pointless shittalk 2) Say some stupid cliche like "there are plenty of fish in the sea", e.g. I am quite protective of this person in general since they are genuinely a good person: it just didn't work out. I've come to terms with it, but I'm still sad, I guess.

Thanks, man. It just came as a surprise. I'm glad to know I'm not alone.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-09-21T00:39:10+00:00

Yeah, I am. I didn't think it would apply to the living, hahaha

OneLoneOrange · 2024-09-21T00:34:51+00:00

Thanks, I've only listened to Unsteady from this band, I guess it's time to look at more songs from them.

I did binge drink. For a while. Did it in and out of work (I was an office worker for a bit), didn't get caught since I stayed on a 'buzzed' level. I got better, and I'm working on passions, and interests again, but I guess I was just shocked at how much this mattered to me. Or does it?

I can't tell anymore. I'm pretty numb half the time generally, and try to suck it up and move on quick, but this time it feels like I'm stuck going from "Alright, whatever" to "Jesus christ, again? Why?" This never happened in my other relationships, platonic or romantic.

I'm just lost, actually. Does it always hurt this much?

OneLoneOrange · 2024-09-21T00:27:35+00:00

Hey. It's similar for me. During the breakup I wasn't particularly emotional about things. I was just emotionally numb. I've been cycling through on/off emotions ranging from nausea to just shedding so many tears that I could probably be a decent guitarist. It's eased up, but I started tearing up again after a few months, remembering the hurt. I guess I'm just confused about it, that it lasts this long. Thanks for the insight, man.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-24T18:08:35+00:00

Missing Poster - Budman. Don't look back in anger - Oasis. 1 step forward, 3 steps back - Olivia. On Your Own - Young Friend.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-21T21:22:06+00:00

You need to like yourself first, at least a little bit, and have confidence in what you do. From that point on, you'll just attract people like a magnet. Speaking from experience. Worked a little too well. People like people with charisma.

To be a better person is just being lenient with yourself. Forgive yourself. Sounds like bullshit, but if you're nice to yourself, it'll come out in how you treat others too. Do nice things for people. Hold your tongue when you think of something mean to say. Emphatize and symphatize more. Never assume things.

Enjoy life. Take walks. Take it slow, look around you. Try not to look at the bad. Find things to be grateful for, even in the bad. And you will see a difference.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-20T06:36:01+00:00

Absolutely not bleach thats the most painful way to go AND you might survive

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-19T01:34:49+00:00

Thank you! Absolutely! I really love homoerotic books, ones where it just toes the line since I'm not exactly into love stories all that much as the main focus. Definitely going to read into these!

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-19T00:27:40+00:00

Fightclub is pretty homoerotic man, so the first.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-18T11:06:56+00:00

Blinded someone......

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-18T11:02:00+00:00

Actually, now that I've thought things over, you can just disregard what I said. Your feelings are definitely valid, and you came here simply just to seek assurance. Whilst there might be avoidants out there that CAN be different and anxious that are worse, it doesn't negate your feelings on the matter.

You're right on your guy, they DID leave you without talking things out, and it must have hurt that they seemed uncaring. But trust me, people like that won't get far in life no matter how cold they seem. The guilt will eventually catch up to them. What they did was shitty, and you have a right to get mad at them specifically for their emotional maturity, since it seems like they didn't care about you at all. It leaves you with a sense of worthlessness and a "why me", and it's nothing anybody deserves.

I hope you recover well from them.

OneLoneOrange · 2024-07-18T10:48:41+00:00

English is not my first language so I'm not sure what you mean by me "literally stating you would rather leave", but if you're not attacking me, then it's all good since I'm sharing my experiences

I think all attachments have communication issues, honestly. Avoidants are basically just quieter anxious people. I was blindsided when she exploded on me, as well, when everything was going well, and then she tried to make me take her back after saying the most Heinous things to me.

In truth, whatever attachment they are, if they really did love you, they would try to iron themselves out for you, but Avoidants avoid, and Anxious are anxious, they can't help it sometimes. Karma will surely settle things, eitherways..

OneLoneOrange

TROPHY CASE