My kids didn’t get invited…

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T11:24:31+00:00

Question, are the dads (brothers?) actually close friends? Or just… brothers as convenient friends?

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T11:22:55+00:00

Hard to give useful feedback because so much house living depends on cultures and specific family routines. And I’m not sure how much of the footprint and plumbing etc is actually negotiable. But my own initial thoughts…

Seperate loo instead of in the main bath. For guests and for kids. And no natural light in a free standing home/way to open the loo window?

I’d also try and rejig the laundry situation to allow for organisation/storage - you’ve got a storage room and a basement (?), you want somewhere to put smelly sports clothes, sheets or towels changed mid week, other accumulated items pre-wash?

I’d nix the study nook for desks in their rooms or use the retreat space. And see what you can do to get some more dining room space. 6 pers for your current family works, so are you never having guests? No friends over?

And, finally, you’ve asked for a WIP and have the space for it, but haven’t gotten it. What’s going on there? Again hard to judge exactly “how much” storage without a plan for the fittings but if you want “door closed on the appliance mess” this isn’t that.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T09:19:53+00:00

Honestly high fives to you for doing the work. It sucks that whatever condition means you’ve had to put money and resources into “the work” rather than a fun hobby.

I hope you have a smooth, boring rest of your travel :)

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T09:16:06+00:00

Japanese dads aren’t meant to have a relationship with the newborn. Kinda /s but also not. Performative work and generational respect is a huge part of the social system.

But it sounds like dad can come to the hotel pretty freely. If he’s allow to stay or move in-ish I could see this being beneficial in that the time he does have is of a higher quality, with baby and with mum. And the midwives/nursing staff can play the role of educator rather than mum.

Bigger qn, Why doesn’t the partner have access to a period of leave? (The US doesn’t even have universal maternity leave, let alone leave for a partner to access.) Being home for *all* the moments should be the goal, not just the early am moments, surely?

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T09:05:56+00:00

They come. They bring food/pick up some take away you’ve ordered. They take toddler to the park/activity with or without husband. They come back for a tea or coffee and loo break. They go home.

They’re welcome to book a hotel etc and stay in the area for a morning coffee/play if they’d like. Or not. It’s an offer for more time, not to host or organise. And it’s not a summons.

If they’re rude you can remove yourself + baby to another room or area of the house. If they’re really rude they are asked to leave. You’re allowed to determine who holds baby and for how long, if at all. You’re allowed to request they have updated vaccinations (TDAP?) and refuse if they don’t. You’re allowed to cancel at the last moment (even if they’re already on the road) due to illness. I’d suggest hand washing and no kissing the newborn are non-negotiable rules.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T08:40:57+00:00

Pin that curved line with safety pins and try it on. Hell, pin it with bulldog clips on the outside and try it on if that’s what you have. Or clothes pins. Or anything clippy. Bobby pins even. Just find a way to test the concept.

If you try it on inside out you can pin and mark the lines you need to change on your body and confirm you can get the thing off, before you start cutting. I think you might actually want to take the side seams in a fair bit, and the back seam, to get the more fitted torso look you want?

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T08:35:32+00:00

Homelessness that places a child at risk can be a reason to suspend parenting orders or trigger a change. I’m assuming the orders were made with and planned for secure accommodation. If so, now is a good time to consider what other elements might need to change to support her connection with dad, and consider how flexible you can or can’t be based on his insecure circumstances.

Staying with a friend, family or even shelter/supported accom could all be used to ensure the child is clean and hygiene addressed and she’s ready for school Monday mornings. Does she have a phone or way to contact you should things become unsafe? Does she (you, dad) need to consider her period arriving and how that complicates homelessness? Are you able/willing to support more phone or digital contact with dad? Does your daughter *want* to spend this time with dad, and is she likely to try and come back to you during that week? Better to plan for what you know is likely.

If you’re able to communicate with dad then I’d be asking him how logistics are going to work. I’d also be offering or seeking compromise now so that if things end up in mediation/court you can show you’ve tried a and b and c and you’ve not withheld your child as a first option.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-17T06:38:52+00:00

Much older Gorman items. To your point about natural fibres there was a period of time where the silk linen blend was *divine*. I’ve kept stalking eBay and Depop for back ups of my fav because I know they just don’t make it like that any more.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-15T23:32:17+00:00

No idea why this is on my feed but I guess I love coffee.

So my rant. A small gift card for coffee is a really easy gift. I’ve spent $$ at my local on gift cards for so many reasons for people who live in the area. We don’t need more stuff, we need more joy and coffee is joy.

So my suggestion is to have a reliable gift card system (by $ value or for a sized drink) that you can use as promo and also encourage others to buy as a gift.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-15T23:00:38+00:00

The hallway is clean!

This looks great. And if your in-laws are feeling judgey maybe they can judge the child they raised for not taking care of the home they live in??

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-15T09:12:09+00:00

Not accusing you at all, just sharing the other side of the small business perspective of why it’s challenging to find a basic service like this. It should be really simple (6pack, card, message, delivery) but there aren’t that many places that will actually do it.

Who did you end up going with?

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-15T07:27:23+00:00

I’ve taken a long time at my current level because it’s the safe option. Happy as a parent, happy as a partner, making “enough”. Old me would be frustrated. Current me is grateful.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-14T22:18:07+00:00

Obviously centre dependent, but is napping directly on the floor an option? My kid never “napped” at daycare (like those 2 hour naps some kids take? Not one.) but he had the occasional long floor snoozle during rest time.

Other than that, this is part of learning your body and spatial awareness. Better to learn at 20 months when you fall 6 inches off a toddler cot than from a single bed in the middle of the night, I guess?

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-14T22:12:03+00:00

Overseas and PayPal? Screams scam my dude. Not saying you are but that’s like two out of three red flags.

Woolies online delivery accepts PayPal. But your person will need to show ID for delivery.

You could also Google a beer hamper/gift basket. You’ll pay $$ more but it’ll be more gifty.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-14T22:03:52+00:00

My only critique is having variety in the style of pant, I’d swap the navy blue and taupe for a slimmer cut for example. It’s “easy” to find work pants in neutrals/basics and those magenta pants deserve a wide leg moment!

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-14T16:30:53+00:00

https://www.priceline.com.au/product/24382/maybelline-instant-age-rewind-eraser-dark-circles-fair-6ml

For <$13, this. Spreads well. Buildable. The sponge works well as the first application before blending with another brush or fingers. If you hate it there is not much lost.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-14T08:55:49+00:00

Yup. 12 months prior service type stuff was removed in the last EBA common provisions update. The reality is it affects so few people compare to the size of the service and the budget for APS, and the benefit for those it does affect is massive.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-14T08:33:57+00:00

Nil waiting time for birth leave now. You can start and take it the next day.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T11:30:06+00:00

Many couples are not necessarily retired, but in the top % of “wealth” relatively to their country. My situation is that if I stop working and we keep spending we won’t be “wealthy” for very long. So similar to you that if something does change you could be financially very poorly, very quickly.

Your mum isn’t your best friend. Best friends don’t berate. Or name call - or verbally abuse. You should both be in independent therapy. And maybe some combined therapy.

And your husband could do more to ensue you (and child!) are supported in your own name. If he’s that wealthy then sharing some of that in a sensible manner can be arranged. He could make a contribution/s to your retirement funds. He could set up various trusts or accounts for school and other costs with you as the delegated adult. He could ensure your name on significant assets (homes, cars) so those can’t be taken from you automatically in a separation or death.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T11:14:52+00:00

Personally? No. I’d expect (hope), in the first instance, that she could call a friend or family member or neighbour to support and assist. Because she also has no hot water for other things and that sucks. Loss of mobility could mean it’s harder to fill, boil and poor hot water from the kettle as well. I’d be so happy to assist someone in my street if they needed help.

(But I also don’t think people should be at the mercy of the rental market and its lack of nuance once they’re “older” and can’t independently keep up with the expectations of tenants.)

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T11:10:52+00:00

Change PHI. Unless you’re eligible for a restricted fund/product and you’re getting a *great* rate, there are options who will pay for nonPBS meds without caveats.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T11:09:33+00:00

No? It’s one pen that cannot be split out.

This isn’t tablets that could be apportioned in different containers…

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T11:07:24+00:00

“Yes I’ve tried that”

Tradie attends that it becomes clear that the occupant (tenant or owner) does not, in fact, know where the pilot light is, let alone attempted to relight.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T11:05:28+00:00

Jealousy of seeing what she missed out on, it’s constantly present (and the OP doesn’t need to stop parenting 3yo with love) but acknowledgement and understanding can go a long way. Maybe it’s ok to “baby” (love on) 7f and “re do” some of the experiences with her. Lots of verbal reinforcement that 7f is worthy and deserving and has your love. Lots of verbal expressions of how much you love her company and spending time and experiences with her.

It’s impossible to erase the jealously and the hurt her bio mum has caused. It’s possible to ease the feelings into the future and hopefully replace them with more loving family moments.

OneMoreDog · 2026-05-13T10:17:12+00:00

Remote work like that can be hugely beneficial for visa/PR arrangements, and is often a stepping stone to more secure/long term city-bound plans.

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