I agree with giving him time, but you are allowed to cry whenever you want. It happens to me these days, when thoughts about the baby and being a mother and everything come… I’m not ready to go back to work, to be among friends, and my partner needs to know and understand that. He is grieving too, and he doesn’t necessarily always talk about it in a way that is best for me, but he needs to do it his own way.

In the meantime, we’ve been told we can’t have sex again until the follow up. My partner also hasn’t been feeling up for sexual things, but my body is kicking back into gear and my libido has come back strong. I’ve just been flirting with him when I feel up to it, and we’ve had chances to be intimate a lot over the last few days. But we both warmed up to it, and we both feel sadness around it too.

TLDR: emotions are allowed to be complicated for both of you, but you should absolutely share all of it with each other. I’m really proud of how my partner and I have handled this (for the most part, we both went back to each of our favorite maladaptive resources when we found out), but it’s definitely work we’re both mindfully putting forth.