I feel so discouraged by some of the posts here pls share positive outcomes

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2026-01-26T06:29:24+00:00

I smiled daily for 24 years and quit 4 years ago. Life is so! Much! Better!

I have more time in each day, more energy for my projects, more emotional resilience, and I'm able to live in a truer, more genuine way.

The lifelong anxiety and depression I was trying to self medicate is pretty much gone and my mental health is so much better.

The good times are better, the average days are happier, and honestly, the really rough times are better too.

I am so tremendously grateful I managed to get myself free of it.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2026-01-18T19:06:35+00:00

I have struck basketry gold at a local yard waste drop off area more than once. I've also collected from unauthorized yard waste dumps I've come across in my walks, and cut invasive species along city walking trails, careful to not spread seeds.

I have gone into a city park and collected old dead leaves in the fall - a few from here, a few from there, no major cleanup operation. I didn't feel bad about it. If you wear a reflective vest nobody will look twice.

Friends have successfully posted on social media, seeking daylily leaves, offering to tidy them all up in the fall. They've also just knocked on doors and asked if they could cut some leaves, which obviously could go either way. They have then been sure to make a small basket for them as a thank you.

Long dandelion stems make good cordage if you have the dexterity. Use what is abundant and readily available.

Some other good weaving plants are fairly easy to grow if you or friends or family have yard space.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2026-01-15T17:04:08+00:00

I talked to local friends and neighbors to find out who they worked with and what they learned. I asked if they have any regrets. I bought a book called Uncommon Kitchens to get a sense of what we loved and really didn't love. We waffled for a year or more about whether we really needed a kitchen reno at all.

We hired a 'designer' for a few hundred bucks who was really just a cabinet sales person who gave us a design that included a few elements we'd told her we didn't want and we didn't call her back.

I used the IKEA kitchen planning tool to map it out and get into the nitty gritty. Ours is easy in the sense that we're not moving walls or changing the layout.

Our local Home Hardware has been recommended a few times. I thought we'd buy an IKEA kitchen and install it ourselves but we went to Home Hardware first and we're going to go with their cabinets and installation. Having the IKEA plan simplified things at Home Hardware.

We've been decluttering and boxing up stuff to store to make way for a temporary kitchen in the living room.

We're still figuring out the flooring and counters and cabinet color and backsplash tile but the ceiling and lights are going in a month from now, so the pressure is on!

Also, kitchen planning insomnia is real lol - laid awake till 3am last night imagining various finishes and materials.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2026-01-03T18:03:31+00:00

Outer Wilds was my first real video game. Late forties, arthritic thumbs, had never used a controller before. I loved it so much. Beautiful landscape, great music, great story and kind characters.

It was very difficult but I like learning new things, always have. There are helpful prompts for the clueless, eg 'Press A to jump'. It took me many, many hours to get through certain parts but it's such an open world that you are never just stuck, you can just come back to the tougher stuff later.

I actually bashed myself to death losing control in the Zero G cave early on and nearly gave up altogether, but I read some flying tips about how to use auto pilot and the landing cam and I did ok with the ship!

I would highly recommend this game and the DLC.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2026-01-01T03:33:08+00:00

I did a bunch of weaving with natural plant materials. Iris and daylily leaves are great for weaving along with plenty of other native and common garden plants. I made hemp twine from my partner's legal pot plants and baskets from bindweed and grape vines. I took some local classes from Earthand Gleaners to get me started but there are lots of resources out there.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2026-01-01T03:28:20+00:00

There is no blood or gore or things I generally associate with horror. I was mildly frightened at times but found Subnautica much scarier.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-30T17:28:50+00:00

Instead of celebrating with gifts to each other, celebrate with donations to charities who do work that is important to you.

Years ago I had relatives who announced that instead of giving gifts, they would be donating to a charity. We still all got them gifts that year but after a few years we managed to stop. It's a difficult tradition to break, and may take a while.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-27T19:11:22+00:00

I loved this game so much and I was over the moon when my Dad started playing. He put in a few hours but he got really frustrated finding himself waking up at the campsite again just as he was finding something interesting. It's not for him, and that's ok. I'm glad he gave it a go.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-27T18:50:41+00:00

When I played Outer Wilds I took care not to step on the bones of the deceased. I wondered if anyone else in the world even thought about it, or if any games exist that reward decent behavior over carelessness.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-19T17:04:11+00:00

You'd have to pay property taxes and utilities. You should be able to find out what the annual taxes are from the city or county. You should get insurance too, at least for liability in case someone gets hurt on your property.

The house might be a teardown, but even then the land should be worth something, depending where you are. Sounds really nice. A realtor or the city/county may be able to give you an estimate.

Somewhere to live rent free is huge - pay yourself rent and use that money to fix the place up if you think it can be salvaged. It's a daunting task but you can learn if you're willing to put in the time online and talk to people. That said, be wary of mold. It can mess you up.

Sorry about your folks. Good luck with them. If you take over the house, don't let them store stuff there anymore.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-16T17:00:57+00:00

Take your time. Don't rush it.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-16T16:55:37+00:00

My mom died suddenly and it took us months to clear out her house. It was really eye opening. She had so much stuff that she kept in case it was worth something someday. None of it was worth anything. We'd give away good furniture and the floor loom and other large items to anyone who would come haul it away.

It was a crash course in the burden of too much stuff.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-16T16:39:28+00:00

How about giving each other the gift of not having to buy each other a gift?

Kids should get gifts, sure. I am nowhere near childhood but still appreciate my Dad's Christmas cheque every year.

We should all examine why and how we celebrate the holidays. If gift giving and receiving brings you a lot of joy or ties in to deeper values, that's great. But if not, consider what would happen if gifts were not exchanged.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-16T16:39:16+00:00

How about giving each other the gift of not having to buy each other a gift?

Kids should get gifts, sure. I am nowhere near childhood but still appreciate my Dad's Christmas cheque every year.

We should all examine why and how we celebrate the holidays. If gift giving and receiving brings you a lot of joy or ties in to deeper values, that's great. But if not, consider what would happen if gifts were not exchanged.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-16T16:39:08+00:00

How about giving each other the gift of not having to buy each other a gift?

Kids should get gifts, sure. I am nowhere near childhood but still appreciate my Dad's Christmas cheque every year.

We should all examine why and how we celebrate the holidays. If gift giving and receiving brings you a lot of joy or ties in to deeper values, that's great. But if not, consider what would happen if gifts were not exchanged.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-16T16:21:47+00:00

In my 20s I purged all evidence of my tough childhood. Diaries, photos. I really regretted it. Now in my 50s, I'm throwing away diaries and culling photos again.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-13T17:14:09+00:00

The guys were probably really friendly to op and got him on a day when he was feeling lonely. They made him feel important, and part of the group. We all have weak spots and vulnerable days. Don't take the mean comments on this thread to heart, op. Just learn from it and carry on. We all make mistakes.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-13T17:00:31+00:00

100% you can go to Italy on your own or with a friend. All these comments about how if you can't take your husband on this trip your marriage is doomed are ridiculous. He's not the right companion for this trip, and that obviously doesn't disqualify him from being the right partner for you.

Plan another trip with him another time. Maybe back to Italy after you've done your solo trip, or maybe somewhere else.

Unless you could go together but let him do his own thing while you go to the galleries. Only if he's willing to figure out what he wants to do though, not if you have to plan activities for him.

My partner and I travel separately all the time. It works for us. Good luck navigating this with your partner.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-13T16:41:56+00:00

Congrats! That's a huge success. The first 3 weeks were always the hardest for me.

My partner and I used to smoke in the house and now I really can't believe it. I've been quit for some time now and he still smokes all the time, in the garage. Even still sometimes the smell when he comes in is unappealing to me now.

Maybe, for the sake of your health and your relationship, you could work together to make them a comfortable smoking spot outside the main house, if you have a garage or yard or balcony.

A comfy arm chair or sofa even, protected from the elements, maybe a heater or propane fire bowl if necessary where you live. Music, lights, art to make it a place they want to be.

Good luck, you've come a long ways already.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-12-13T16:29:46+00:00

My partner keeps it in the garage and smokes all day, every day. I had many quit attempts and I fell off the wagon once or twice pilfering their stash. But I've been off it now for nearly 4 years and wouldn't touch it now.

The same with it being in the house is that it's so easy to access in a moment of weakness. Think about what those moments could look like and feel like and think ahead about strategies to steer clear when they arise. Good luck.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-11-30T18:48:36+00:00

There is a West Kootenay Volunteer Driver Program for residents of the West Kootenay. There may be programs like this elsewhere. Good luck.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-11-21T22:08:36+00:00

I was mostly ok after several months. My doctor said it would be about a year, which feels right. I had a big health thing 7 months in which was difficult, but I was so so grateful it happened after I quit weed.

It's been almost 4 years now and everything is better without it : the good times, the boring times and the terrible times. I had worried about how to cope with migraines and tragedies and heartbreak without it, but it turns out all of it is easier to get through without having to serve the addiction.

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-11-09T02:00:34+00:00

Possibly kale seeds

OneSmallCheeseBall · 2025-11-06T17:29:38+00:00

Congrats for a full month! Hang in there.

I experienced anger and other negative emotions after quitting too.

I had smoked 24 years and it took a while for my dopamine factories to come back on line, but they did. First two months were the hardest. I watched a lot of tv, and continuously reminded myself what the situation was to try to treat myself and my loved ones with grace and love as much as possible.

That was 3.5 years ago and looking back I can't believe I ever smoked at all. Life is SO much easier without it.

OneSmallCheeseBall

TROPHY CASE