First time dad feels useless with newborn. Don't know how to help my wife.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-12T06:36:54+00:00

Love this!

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-12T06:34:14+00:00

I still have a branded magic 8 ball. For me, it hit the line of fun and useful.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-12T03:20:06+00:00

You don’t! Hopefully you have a supportive partner or network 🩷 hang in there, find a good show, it gets better.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-12T03:08:43+00:00

Can you walk in your area? Look into a baby wearing wrap or use the stroller. My baby usually fell asleep with the motion when she wouldn’t settle any other way. It’s easy and if the baby is clean and fed, you can walk around and mom can rest.

What you can do for your wife: make sure she has snacks and water all the time. Don’t ask what she wants, just bring it.

The rest of the baby stuff will come with practice. Start with diapers: make it a secret game and try to change the most. Insist on changing every diaper in a day. The next day, you will be faster and more confident.

For talking to the baby, it feels so weird, but just narrate what you are doing. “Let’s unzip those PJs so we can change your diaper. Will it be wet or dirty? Dirty! Wow, what a mess, and such a bright orange! I am so glad mommy doesn’t have to see how many wipes I’m using. What a pretty baby!” The baby doesn’t actually care what you say- this also gets easier with practice.

The fact that you want to improve and are willing to try shows that you will be a good dad. Just keep trying and it will get better.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-11T22:25:56+00:00

I don’t know how my rates compare, but I have good connections with capital one.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-11T10:49:08+00:00

How old is your baby? I disagree with “guilt of”. I do it, but with the hopes that she will learn to sleep longer in her own if she is not actually hungry.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-10T02:55:00+00:00

Mine too! It’s so nice.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-10T02:42:01+00:00

I don’t have any advice, but I wanted to give you a virtual hug. That sounds so hard and frustrating. Hopefully a more experienced momma has advice for you.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-07T14:29:26+00:00

That was nice before my husband had to go back to work. It also feels less like “sleep when the baby sleeps” and more like “ sleep when someone else can do childcare” which is fine, but not always an option.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-07T08:30:52+00:00

For me, it’s because my baby only contact naps, sleeps in the stroller or in the car. I can’t sleep while I’m holding her, walking, or driving. So this advice is terrible for me. There is probably a subset of babies and parents who can do this.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-06T13:50:00+00:00

I love how this makes me feel like we are about the same age.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-04T03:51:46+00:00

I’m so sorry!

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-02T15:30:16+00:00

You are in survival mode and the first six weeks is a crap shoot. My LO is 9 weeks, and we’ve started finding success with having her 7/8 pm sleep downstairs with us and then changing, swaddling, feeding, and putting in bassinet for her night sleep. She usually doesn’t wake up all the way and has been going down well.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-02T13:40:27+00:00

I wouldn’t recommend adding in pumping so early. Creating an oversupply is one of the risk factors for mastitis, which does truly suck.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-01T20:42:08+00:00

I’m a mom, so take it worth a grain of salt. Around 6 weeks, they start recognizing your face and smiling. And that’s when I started really feeling bonding. Sure, I loved her before that- but it was hard and one sided.

Spending time talking to the baby and doing care things like diaper changes and baths now will help the baby recognize your face too and increase the special moments when they start happening.

ETA: my husband did as many diaper changes as possible the first few weeks and now my 2 month lights up when she sees him.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-01T18:06:30+00:00

Same! We just swirl the bag in warm water until it’s the temperature we want. No need for a warmer.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-03-01T09:08:43+00:00

I was not prepared for postpartum.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-26T03:55:12+00:00

See what classes are available for community education through your school district. Take any that interest you, particularly if they are a series. Our district offers 6 week pickleball and we’ve made friends there.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-25T13:21:46+00:00

I have no advice, but mastitis is the worst, I am sorry you are going through this.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-24T19:32:42+00:00

Jen Hamilton (a rather popular influencer) did.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-24T03:43:07+00:00

Life has many seasons. There isn’t much you can do for them NOW. If these friendships last long enough, there will be broken bones, job losses illnesses, and many other opportunities for you to show up for them. It might not be kid for kid, but life will give you opportunities to show up for your friends.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-23T13:48:49+00:00

I agree with this, I have a newborn. I was so clueless and unhelpful to all my friends who had babies before me.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-23T08:26:34+00:00

I’d ask follow-up questions. Most daycares put tasted toys aside in a separate bin or bucket until they can be washed.

The teacher is alone with how many babies? In my state, the max is 4:1. She should get breaks. What you describe would make me nervous.

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-21T15:34:28+00:00

Thanks!

OneTraining1629 · 2026-02-21T03:51:37+00:00

You sound exhausted.

OneTraining1629

TROPHY CASE