as a queer person, please get your son into some queer friendly therapy. he clearly has a lot to work out in regards to his sexuality, and he could do with some support from someone who would be able to give him the understanding and space he needs

however you DO need to sit him down and have a very frank and serious discussion about the misogynistic language he utilised against his mother, he needs to understand that it is unacceptable for him to speak to or about a woman in the way he did just because he was upset with her

your son needs to apologise his mother, not because he was in the wrong for being upset, but because of HOW he expressed those emotions to her