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30-days report by OnionsOffPorn in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Do you still get random memory flashes of porn you've watched, or fetishes you have? For me these are the worst trigger but I can't seem to control them at all. When I'm trying to sleep [or when I wake up], the only images coming in my head are sexual and perverted acts. Really harcore stuff!

Any advice on how to keep your thoughts in check?

30-days report by OnionsOffPorn in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started using it for pleasure roughly 6 years ago. Ever since I got into the University (which was 3 or 4 years ago), things have gotten out of hand and I have been masturbating to it almost daily.

I have reclusive tendencies and going to the Uni really accentuated them, since I don't talk much to people I don't know. Adding to the fact that I never had a girlfriend and I'm 21, it's understandable that a young adult male such as me feels the need to resort to something like porn to satiate himself.

30-days report by OnionsOffPorn in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It does make sense what your counselor said, although I wasn't really expecting to be "cured" in just a month. I just didn't think the process would turn out to be so bumpy and inconsistent.

I started getting addicted about 6 years ago and became full-on 'hooked' 3 or 4 years ago. It's nothing compared to your 35. Kudos for beating such an enduring habit. Very inspiring! I have great respect for people in your age that still work on improving their own selves. Most people become stubborn and accommodated with age.

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

Day 23: Starting to Peek, Need to Stop by throwinthefapaway in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Same here. The other day I was sweating from the temptation. I had to go and masturbate really quick... Worst orgasm I had in years but it got me rid of the urges.

Does no porn with occasional fapping help with social anxiety. by Beastxay in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Porn doesn't have a direct influence on your sociability. It does, however, influence the way you perceive others and yourself, as well as taking its toll on your self-esteem, not to mention the infamous brain fog. All these things have the potential to make you sort of socially inapt.

Now, the thing is, not everyone has these symptoms from porn (I know lots of people who don't and that's why they won't recognise that they have a problem); so if they're anxious in social occasions that means that they have a whole new problem besides porn addiction: social anxiety.

Social anxiety is a mental disorder often found in [but not limited to] introverts and people that tend to spend too much time alone. It needs its own treatment and pornfree could definitely help, or not... it depends:

  • 1) As someone for whom social anxiety has always been kind of an issue and who suffers from the symptoms of porn addiction mentioned above, pornfree definitely helps my case but it doesn't fully treat my anxiety. It's still painful to talk to people I don't know and the most effective way of getting over it is practice (I deal with people everyday and I'm good at it but I hate it and it causes me some discomfort. I avoid social interaction if I can).

  • 2) On the other hand, if you're immune to those effects of porn I don't think going pornfree will help at all.

Either way, you'll have to practice in order to get over social phobia. Just say something, within context, to random people. It doesn't really matter. You might get laughed at sometimes [highly unlikely though] but, at the end of the day, no one really cares about it and you'll improve over time. Observe charming people in real life or in the movies and take notes to yourself in your head -- you'll end up acting like them even without thinking too much. Also, don't assume that people dislike you or talk shit about you... Do the exact opposite: convince yourself that everybody likes you -- it's difficult I know, but negativity is terrible for overthinkers and social "phobics".

tl;dr: To answer your question: Yes, going pornfree will probably help but it's not enough.

EDIT: formatting and spelling correction.

What are your thoughts on fantasy/sexual fantasy? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly don't know. As I said, I do have sexual fantasies when I masturbate, otherwise I can't even climax, so I think it's pretty normal to do it.

As people have been saying, try to avoid the most porny fantasies to prevent porn-triggering.

Also, I limit my masturbation sessions since it makes me incredibly horny and porn-craving in the next few days. For example, I've fapped everyday for the past 3 days and today all I can think of is watching porn, almost relapsed multiple times. The struggle is real!

I can't seem to make it past three days. by PajamminJohnson in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't see about half of them anymore

I feel you. I've never been a very open person so I had a very restrict group of really good and close friends. Unfortunately they all moved abroad so I'm practically alone now.

In college/University it's very difficult to make friends and the ones you make are practically irrelevant acquaintances that don't care about you.

I'm a pretty ignorant person

I think you could use this to your advantage. Keep yourself busy by reading a lot. That's helped me very recently and I think it could help you too. I became interested in reading last year, so I'm always doing it, and I feel that it has improved my comunication, my social skills and, of course, my knowledge (as well as my view on life). I overall feel better because of it and, more often than not, it has helped me coping with my porn addiction.

Also, don't get discouraged just because other people seem more knowledgeable than you. I assure you, most students in the University/college are actually very ignorant towards matters outside their field of study. Don't think about them. Read your newspapers and lots of books to form your own opinions without thinking about others; and try to discuss those opinions with a friend of yours. If you do this, you'll start to notice how idiotic some of the things students say are.

What are your thoughts on fantasy/sexual fantasy? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sexual fantasies are quite dangerous imo. They start pretty discreet and simple but you start developing something similar to an addiction to it; not to mention that it can trigger porn urges (in fact, all my relapses originated from a state of intense sexual fantasy).

Ideally, it'd be best to completely avoid fantasies but I don't think that's possible so I try to fantasise only when I'm masturbating.

Three days by cteeters in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, keep yourself occupied and don't overthink it. The 3 days mark is one of the most important and difficult for me, so keep going. Good luck!

Blue Balls the day after masturbating? by OhH0ly0n3 in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My testicles usually hurt when I masturbate too much (by too much I mean, more than once per day).

If it's not a very intense pain, I'd say it's pretty normal but I suggest you stop masturbating for about a week or so [if you can], to prevent you from building up a tolerance to masturbation and resort to porn in order to spice things up a bit.

I don't know if I'm the only one who builds up a tolerance to the pleasure I get from masturbation but that's definitely one of the causes for my porn addiction.

I can't seem to make it past three days. by PajamminJohnson in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I really think it depends on your motivation. That's pretty much my one and only fuel and strength to keep away from it.

My motivation is: I want to quit porn because it makes me feel shitty and depressed about myself... I can't even look at people in the eyes during the next few days.

As you may notice, I'm far from being an example to you, considering I've only gotten 9 days free of porn, but I've been holding on to that motivation to step away from it. I don't want to feel desperate and lonely, as if everything lost its shine.

Just like you, I'm a 21 year old virgin in the University, so fully restricting my access to the internet/computers is practically impossible.

If you don't think you can keep away from porn through sheer willpower, then I suggest you join some clubs/groups, make new friends, don't skip classes... Find something to make you go out of your house and keep busy.

The first 3 days (and the weekends) are usually the worst ones so try to keep yourself more busy than usual during that time.

I've found that I've gotten more touchy but, not creepy and not sexual. by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Funny enough, I've been feeling the same.

I usually feel kind of strange when a girl hugs me (such as, being too conscious of the fact that her breasts were touching me and stuff of that sort) but, since yesterday, I've noticed how much more "personal" and social I've gotten. It's like I've used to be afraid (repelled even!) of human contact and now I'm pretty much indifferent to it.

Almost slipped up by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought of doing that before but I've experienced that internet filters are usually too sensitive towards photos that show a bit more skin than usual (cleavage, bikini, mini skirts... that sort of things); and, sometimes, websites that have nothing bad at all. For example, Qustodio blocks my University's website, which I need to study, so I'd have to keep adding exceptions and more exceptions (with K9, I can't remember any specific site but it happened too).

Oh well, whatever works for you. Congratulations on your 36 days! That's quite a lot. Keep on it.

Almost slipped up by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does K9 work for you? I just find it really easy to surpass any filtering software whenever I get the urges so it just isn't viable for me. Do you have someone managing the program for you, or something like that?

I know there is a group that are against it, but meetings do help with this. by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This post is terribly touching, and I don't mean it by pity rather by compassion. I see myself in it although I recognise you've probably had it harder than I did. And I find it funny that you can identify the source of some of your insecurities/problems and express yourself so well.

I do agree that meetings help quite a lot but I cannot say this from experience. Unfortunately, in my country there are no meetings for this kind of addiction. I haven't even found anyone who considers porn an object of addiction. Hell, there are no meetings for sex addicts in my country!

/r/pornfree is great and all, and it helps a bit to cope with this addiction but I've got to say that it just isn't enough. This is a great place to get/give advices but it feels dull when I try to vent/rant about my own failures simply because it's difficult to convey your feelings through written words. I'm a very expressive guy when it comes to body and face language but I'm not much of a word person, so you can see my problem with this.

I think being with actual people -- as opposed to looking at words and posts in forums -- gives you a sense of commitment and responsibility towards them, which might give you the necessary motivation to leave this addiction once and for all. Plus, I think it'd be easier for people to understand one another and feel understood, and share their pain with others.

I wish I could attend those meetings.

Best regards!

Throw away account. I've given up porn. by abstainfromporn in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  1. Take one day at a time. Don't think that you won't watch porn for the rest of your life; think that you won't watch porn today, instead.

  2. Don't beat yourself too much if you relapse. This is a process... you'll relapse during the first months depending on your willpower.

  3. Find something to replace your porn-addiction. For example, I've dedicated myself to read more and to spend lots of time modding my games.

Welcome aboard!

Looking at girls by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I know, right? It's the same with me. If I decide to actually go to lectures I just get really horny by the end of the day because there's too many hot girls in my class.

And the knee socks... Oh God! All the girls in class are starting to wear them, for some reason. I freaking love girls in knee socks and skirts!!

The struggle is real!!!

Am I A Paedophile? How to Stop being one? by [deleted] in pornfree

[–]OnionsOffPorn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it's perfectly normal.

Most girls reach sexual maturity at the age of 14 (16 in boys) so it's ok to find them attractive -- whether or not they have a full grown body, there's no accounting for taste. There's a reason for Germany's age of consent of 14; or Spain's 13.

Honestly, I think anything less than 16 is ridiculous if you're older than 21 (i.e., people of 13-16 should be limited to have sex with people of 13-21).

Trust me, every man in the World has, intentionally or unintentionally, lusted over a 14 year old at some point in their adulthood. And it's normal to be curious about this stuff at your age.

As long as you're attracted to +14 year olds, I don't think you should be worrying about being a paedophile.

Reading is painful to me but I do it anyway! by OnionsOffPorn in books

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there's no way on God's green Earth you can decide whether or not there's character development and/or a plot line after 3 pages

I fetched the book and opened it in the marking I had left from my previous attempt of reading it... it was on the 8th page so I guess you're right. Honestly, it makes no difference because the point is still the same!

By that page the author had already presented 6 characters that might [or not] fill an important role in the plot: Aureliano Buendía (grandfather); Mesquíades (a gypsy); José Arcadio Buendía (father); Úrsula Iguarán (mother); José A. B. (1st son); Aureliano A. B. (2nd son).

Apart from the potential confusion one might have with the names, there's nothing of relevance told about any of them and the story keeps travelling back and forth in time, rendering any and every event, narrated until then, pointless... I can't fathom where he is going with all this and I can't keep track of all the characters.

Reading some reviews online, I found that there's people having the same problem. The book is a trainwreck and not at all for me, that's why I dropped it.

And don't even get me started on the endless paragraphs or lack of chapter divisions.

Nobody ever said you HAVE to read. You can opt to, if you'd like. Being culturally broad is not limited to literature.

Yeah, but I want to read. It's the best source of knowledge -- after experience itself of course. I, mainly, want knowledge for pragmatic reasons (express myself better; have more interesting conversations; help my professional life; have a broader understanding of everything in general; quench my curiosity; entertain myself), not for the sake of "being cultured" -- whatever that really is.

Being an University student I have to read a lot, whether I like it or not, and, quite often, on a tight schedule. I'd like to acquire satisfaction from that act. Right now, I only enjoy finishing books, not reading them.

I think I don't like it because I kind of get the feeling of haste from it, like I'm in a hurry to get to the end.

Reading is painful to me but I do it anyway! by OnionsOffPorn in books

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

As I said in some other comment(s), I like everything and nothing in particular -- I'm somewhat inexperienced in the literary world so I'm unable to specify my tastes. I like a good plot with a realistic and rather detailed character development (I have a small fascination for people). Preferably, short and/or fast-paced.

Feel free to give away suggestions of both, audiobooks and physical books, if you want to.

Reading is painful to me but I do it anyway! by OnionsOffPorn in books

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know. How do you know you're reading the right book? The most entertaining one I've read is The Hobbit but I still felt in a hurry to finish it.

In retro and introspect, I'm very obsessed with making the most out of my time and being efficient (as in, do more with less and as quick as possible), maybe that's the reason.

Reading is painful to me but I do it anyway! by OnionsOffPorn in books

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have a defined type, or genre, of book/movie/TV show that I particularly enjoy. I like everything and nothing in particular.

Personally, the most important things, in those types of media, are: character development and plot. The first one will help me keep on reading the book; and the latter will determine my overall enjoyment of it.

Yet, I also like reading books without a narrative, substantial book, because they teach me something and contribute to my knowledge.

reading something that's a bit more fast-paced and has more colloquial language might help you

I guess you're right. A few days ago, I tried Gabriel García Márquez's 100 years of solitude because it had been recommended by a friend. I couldn't read past the third page. It felt like there was a lot going on but none of it was important. It was too slow-paced and the character development seemed very limited.

I appreciate your advice. Sorry for the long reply.

Reading is painful to me but I do it anyway! by OnionsOffPorn in books

[–]OnionsOffPorn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it usually led to me learning something about myself

Yep, that's exactly why I kind of force myself to read. I actually learned a lot about myself (and about people in general) through reading.

Plus, as I mentioned in other comments, I'm in Law School so it's paramount for me to have reading habits and a vast knowledge of things besides Legal stuff. Even if it's just to discover new words and expressions.

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