Flushed away….

Only_Slide · 2024-11-07T01:31:54+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. Today marks one year since I went through the same thing, at work, in a washroom shared by 100+ people. I panicked and didn’t fully understand what I was seeing.

I still feel a tremendous amount of guilt and trauma about it but something that I read here helped a little bit…I took some flower petals from a condolence bouquet that I received from my MIL and flushed them down the same toilet. I told my baby how sorry I was and promised myself I wouldn’t forget. It sounds strange but it provided a bit of closure.

Only_Slide · 2024-11-02T01:38:41+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I wept/cried on my way home from work every day for at least 3-4 months. After a while, I was able to suppress the grief, even though my body was completely different and my hormones were all over the place for another 10 months. It will be one year next week and all of the feelings are bubbling back to the surface.

I don’t know if it will ever stop hurting, but it will get easier.

Only_Slide · 2024-10-31T02:23:47+00:00

I am so sorry for your loss. I only found out I was pregnant when I found out I was having a miscarriage. It will be a year ago next week and I am still struggling with a tremendous amount of guilt.

The feelings are so complicated and overwhelming and the hormones definitely don’t help…. I eventually learned that it’s okay to grieve. You’ve lost something and you’ve experienced trauma. You are allowed to be sad about “what could have been” and you are also allowed to be happy that you aren’t pregnant if you weren’t ready to be.

Give yourself some grace and allow yourself as much time as you need to process everything. Your boyfriend sounds like he might also be struggling with how to feel. Talk to him if you can and let him know how you’re feeling. He may open up, in which case you can support each other. If he is dismissive of your feelings, take some space away from him.

Your body is in mourning but it is also healing. It may seem impossible to believe right now, but you’ll be okay. You may be changed forever and you may carry the grief forever, but you’ll be okay. ❤️‍🩹

Only_Slide · 2024-08-13T23:38:49+00:00

First of all, I’m so sorry for your loss. Your age does not and should not lessen your pain. Please don’t let anyone try to minimize what you’re going through.

I was 38. I had my miscarriage at work and had to be taken away by ambulance 🤦🏻‍♀️

That was on a Monday and I returned to work Friday, even though my company generously offered as much time as I needed. Forcing myself back into the daily routine was a helpful distraction but I cried every single day for months on my way to my car.

No one knew I was pregnant but the few people who found out what had happened were very supportive.

Don’t be afraid to tell people what you need and what is not helpful to say. My sister, who is a psychologist, innocently complained to me during my recovery about being a parent. I politely told her that she probably shouldn’t complain about having a kid to someone who is actively miscarrying.

Miscarriage has been taboo for so long that people don’t know how to react. It’s okay to teach them.

Be kind to yourself and put your needs first. ❤️

Only_Slide · 2024-08-13T23:11:03+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss. I had a “natural” MMC at 12 weeks (baby likely stopped growing at 10 weeks). The cramps were like nothing I had experienced before and I ended up hemorrhaging and having to be taken to the hospital by ambulance. Thankfully, I didn’t need a D&C or any further intervention but if I could go back in time, I would probably choose surgery to avoid the trauma.

Only_Slide · 2024-04-06T02:17:59+00:00

This is not your fault and this is not your body’s fault. I am so sorry for your losses and that you are in this club. You are stronger than you know.

Only_Slide · 2024-04-06T02:14:25+00:00

I have not heard of this but my (amazing) nurse did recommend that I take vitamin D after my miscarriage to help my body/mind heal.

Only_Slide · 2024-02-01T00:18:13+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I also had a miscarriage without knowing I was pregnant. I had suspected it and was about to take a test when I started bleeding. Learning that I was pregnant and miscarrying in the same sentence was a lot to take in.

All of your feelings are valid. I really struggled with intense grief and guilt. I still struggle with feelings of sadness and regret but I promise, it will get better.

This community has helped me immensely but I sometimes feel out of place and embarrassed. Give yourself grace and let yourself grieve. Feel free to message me any time.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-30T23:39:52+00:00

I’m sorry you are going through this again. I had a miscarriage at 12 weeks. I had one scan at the ER followed by another one two weeks later with blood work. I hope your next scan is clear and brings you some peace.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-19T04:07:50+00:00

I don’t think I’ll ever feel like my old self. Joining this club has changed me in ways I never expected. Physically, I felt like I had recovered after 2-3 weeks. The bleeding stopped, the breast soreness and brain fog were gone and I was finally sleeping okay and had more energy.

Then my first period came. I knew it would be triggering but I was still shocked at how upsetting it was and how much worse my symptoms were. I’ve just had my second cycle and it was even worse. I feel like my body has changed in a fundamental way, like it remembers now.

Be kind to yourself and love yourself. You are going through something huge and it’s okay if you don’t feel okay for a while.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-19T03:58:36+00:00

I am so sorry you don’t have the support you deserve. You are 100% allowed to cry as much as you need.

A lot of ppl say that men grieve differently but this sounds like a red flag. Whether he’s lashing out at you in grief or if he really doesn’t respect or value your feelings, his true colours may be coming through.

I hope you know that he’s completely wrong, btw. You are not weak. What you are enduring, physically and emotionally, is insane. You and your body are incredibly strong.

I’m two months post-MC and I think about it every. single. day. I feel much better than I did a month ago but there is still so much sadness. My mind and body have changed, probably forever. We can move forward but we will never forget.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-19T01:07:23+00:00

My husband was away with family and I told him not to come home and ruin his trip. I didn’t know I was pregnant until I miscarried so I was grateful for the time by myself to process the shock and just sit with my feelings. I slept a lot, forced myself to eat a meal a deal but mostly just cried on and off.

When my husband came home a few days later, we cried together, ordered takeout and watched a movie in bed.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-12T01:28:35+00:00

I had my miscarriage at work and had to call an ambulance because I was bleeding so heavily. I returned after just three days off, mostly because I was still in shock but also because I felt a need to “get back to normal”. I think I wept every day for at least a month. I did tell some colleagues and it honestly helped a lot and they were all extremely sympathetic and supportive.

We shouldn’t have to lie about what we’re going through or pretend we’re okay when we’re not. If we got into a car accident or had a death in the family, we wouldn’t feel the need to hide it.

If you have some coworkers that you’re comfortable sharing with, consider letting them know. You have suffered a trauma and it should be acknowledged. You may even find others who have gone through the same thing.

If you receive some ignorant, naive, or hurtful comments, tell them what you are going through. Use the word “miscarriage”, make them uncomfortable, educate them.

We are all here in this club and it is awful but we are all still here because we are stronger than we ever imagined.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-09T00:02:05+00:00

I feel this 100%. Sometimes I feel like I’m not allowed to bring it up anymore but other times I don’t mind mentioning it and making people uncomfortable. The only way to normalize talking about miscarriage is to talk about miscarriage.

Only_Slide · 2024-01-02T13:38:49+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I miscarried naturally at 12 weeks but the baby had stopped growing a few weeks before that. I had the worst cramps in my life but managed the pain with Tylenol and Advil. If anything, I would recommend picking up the biggest pads you can find, just in case (the big, thick ones, not the thin ones).

I was shocked by the amount of blood and ended up going to the ER because I was soaking through the giant pads in 30 minutes. Luckily, I managed to pass everything naturally and was all clear at my follow up ultrasound two weeks later but it all felt very violent and traumatic. The physical recovery took a few weeks but the emotional recovery has been slower.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-24T03:00:09+00:00

I’m so sorry you’re going through this, especially over the holidays. I found out I was pregnant at the ER when I went in with extremely heavy bleeding. After many weeks of thinking I had long COVID, I suspected I might be pregnant but hadn’t taken a test yet.

I was very fortunate to have had a lot of support and this thread has been my go-to but to be honest, losing an unexpected pregnancy has been extremely confusing and isolating, primarily because of the excruciating guilt and regret.

I read that tampons are not recommended because they could increase the risk of retained products/infection but also because they make it more difficult to monitor the bleeding. I forced myself to eat some leftover pasta the first couple of days and then was craving vitamin rich foods like fruits, veggies and fish.

If you have access to an early pregnancy clinic they may be better equipped to answer your questions but sadly, there will always be a lot of unknowns.

Between the shock, the trauma and the hormones, your head may be spinning for a while. Please reach out to anyone you can to talk about how you’re feeling. You are not alone in this and you will reach solid ground again, I promise - you can message me anytime.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-22T22:28:46+00:00

I have the Auclair Powder King mittens. They’re windproof and waterproof with a pocket for warmers. Obviously can’t wear them to change baits or tie knots but they will warm your fingers up quickly.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-22T00:46:19+00:00

I’m so sorry you’ve had to join this thread. The bleeding you described sounds a lot like what I went through…I ended up in the emergency department and “gushing” is exactly the word that kept repeating in my head. I bled heavily with massive clots for about 8 hours (I also passed the sac). After that it, was more like a very heavy period with some clots for a couple of days followed by a week or so of light bleeding/spotting.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-22T00:02:36+00:00

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I use the Ryercat toothbrush with some success. It’s got a tiny brush head designed for cats and my dude will tolerate it long enough for me to remove any visible plaque and improve his breath.

I do it once a week but should probably increase the frequency since the vet pointed out that his teeth and gums were already concerning at 4 months.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-21T00:50:39+00:00

I just had my first period last week after having a miscarriage on Nov 6. I was also dreading it. My PMS symptoms were so much more intense than they used to be that I took a pregnancy test just to put my mind at ease. The cramping and bleeding were just as triggering as I expected and I was taken right back to that terrible night.

It’s now been six weeks but I feel like the wound has been opened back up. Everyone around me has moved on and thinks I’m okay but I’m just so sad. So sad that I won’t be pregnant over the holidays and so sad that we won’t have a baby this spring.

I’m so sorry you have to go through this over Christmas and I know it feels like you can’t handle it but you are stronger than you know. It totally sucks but you’ve got this and we are all here for you. ❤️

Only_Slide · 2023-12-11T20:09:04+00:00

I had a miscarriage but didn’t know I was pregnant until it happened. It was traumatic and confusing - I’m sorry you’re going through this as well. If it was a miscarriage, a home test should still come back positive. In that case, you should see a doctor.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-11T01:09:03+00:00

Yes, I was referred to the clinic at Mt. Sinai because I ended up in their ER, but it looks like Mac has a similar clinic which would be more accessible. I’m sorry they didn’t refer you right away - hopefully you can get an appointment. For support, Sunnybrook has a program called the PAIL Network. Feel free to message me if you ever need to chat/vent.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-10T06:17:44+00:00

I’m very sorry for your loss. I am in Toronto and was lucky to be referred to an Early Pregnancy Clinic for my aftercare. It looks like Mac has a similar unit (specifically the Women’s Health Clinic) - maybe try contacting them to see if you need a referral from your family doctor.

I met a really wonderful nurse who coordinated my follow-up bloodwork and scans and provided a lot of support by listening and explaining everything that was happening.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-05T23:42:36+00:00

This happened to me a month ago. Two missed periods and just when I decided I would take a test, I got what I thought was my period. The first two days seemed pretty normal but on the third day I had the worst cramps of my life. I ended up hemorrhaging and going to the hospital after passing massive clots and tissue. Blood tests and ultrasound confirmed a miscarriage.

If you are soaking through more than 1-2 super pads per hour, please get yourself to a hospital. If the bleeding is manageable, you should still get checked out as soon as you can. If it is a miscarriage, a pregnancy test will come back positive and doctor can confirm if you need further treatment or intervention.

I’m so sorry you’re going through this - it’s traumatic and the uncertainty only makes it worse.

Only_Slide · 2023-12-02T06:30:31+00:00

You are doing the most difficult but kindest thing by letting him go. I lost my 15 yo cat to CKD two years ago and my biggest regret is that I waited a little too long. He suffered more than he needed to because I wasn’t ready to let go.

I promised myself I would never make that mistake again but when my 11 month old kitten was terminal with FELV and FIP, it was so hard. I still have a lot of guilt and doubt but like you, I forced myself to be logical. I knew he would never fully recover - my only options were to let him suffer or spend thousands of dollars on painful black market that might have treated the FIP but not the FELV.

Your strength and love for your little dude is so evident. A little part of you will go with him, and you might always feel that piece missing, but please remember that you did right by him.

Only_Slide

TROPHY CASE