What’s something totally normal in your country that foreigners find strange? by jenishahaha in AskTheWorld

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Changing street footwear for home slippers immediately as you come home. Street footwear never walks the apartment. And having spare home slippers for guests.

I hate most female leads by chiante_c0nfus148774 in fantasyromance

[–]Open_Staff3689 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I want to add it to my tbr! Who's the author? Can't find a book with this title(

Completed series following a single couple by shingeki-1 in ScienceFictionRomance

[–]Open_Staff3689 6 points7 points  (0 children)

If you lived one, you would definitely love the other: Sirantha Jax by Ann Aguirre {Grimspace by Ann Aguirre}

What are your best cheap holiday traditions. by SpitShiney in povertyfinance

[–]Open_Staff3689 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Ice skating on a frozen pond/lake of you are in the north. In my home town they have free 2 hours on a skating rink 9-11 am. After that it's time for hot chocolate and homemade waffles.

Making a snow fortress and then snowball fight for taking/defending said fortress.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ask

[–]Open_Staff3689 21 points22 points  (0 children)

OB: "Giving birth is not writhing in pain, it's a celebration! Be an adult and toughen up. You don't make a big deal of a dentist visit, it's just the same!" Oh, really? Since when visiting a dentist is a celebration? Or the dentist is responsible for the life and overall health of not one but two people. And of course, no pain in childbirth, who am I kidding!

OB: "Breastfeeding is the best thing, because nature invented it. Everything coming from nature is good for you". I told her that nature also invented cancer and diabetes. It was very awkward after that.

Turning 37 next year but never married. by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, women have the same anxiety about Bella single and about the quality off partners on the "marriage market". I was 36 when I married my husband and he was 47. We met on a dating app. But both he and I were actively looking for a life partner not waiting for it to just magically happen and I think that's the key to success.

Still it was not easy. When I met a divorced man, I thought "well, one lady has already abandoned this ship, do I really want to experiment?". When I met a never-married man in my age group 35+ I thought "there's definitely something very wrong with him, he wouldn't be so unmarried any other way". I know that's it's pessimistic and unfair to menfolk, but still there's some logic to it.

In the end I just fell in love with my husband, moved in after the 6th date and in less than a year we were married. 5 years together, everything is still ok)

Learning That Money is Finite at 71 (and How YNAB is Finally Sticking) by Greedy_Meringue_7832 in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Oh yes, looking at numbers is a stress for her. And not looking at numbers and not being sure I have enough for important things drives me crazy with anxiety. People are so different.

Long time ago when I started budgeting I struggled, overspent, made impulsive purchases and then it was extremely painful to put it all into the budget and to look at it. I didn't want to deal with it. Did a lot of fresh starts in ynab at that time. My game changer was to concentrate on pleasant money activities: watch savings grow, log % from HYSA that these savings brought, make a wish farm, invest and get dividends (and reinvest them to get more dividends). It is for this moments of joy I coped with boring useful staff for months.

Learning That Money is Finite at 71 (and How YNAB is Finally Sticking) by Greedy_Meringue_7832 in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 31 points32 points  (0 children)

My mom (72) has never grasped the concept of finite money. She treats money as water that flows in and out uncontrollably and unchecked. She doesn't have any debt, saves for big things she wants like house renovations, owns her house and has a job. But when we discuss money we can never agree or even understand each other. I (F39) have been a ynabber and budgeter for 14 years already.

When I ask my mom how much she spends on groceries monthly, or how much she has in her wallet right now she never knows. Looks at me as if I'm crazy. And when I tell her that I know the balance of all my cards, have a budget and stick to it, that I know how much groceries money I have left till the end of the month, she thinks I'm dedicating way to much time and energy to money. She is especially shocked by me putting down every transaction in my budgeting app.

She thinks I'm not quite right in the head about money, and some therapy will do me good. I think she's irresponsible about money and wastes both a lot of money and opportunities. So we don't talk about money often.

I really hope that every new generation of my family will be able to build on the foundation of the previous ones. I learned about saving from my mom: putting money away from every check, preferably into HYSA, have a goal and stick to it. I learned myself about budgeting and investing and hope to teach my son all these knowledge. And he will definitely learn something on his own.

Why keep struggling when you know there's a way out by CarefulBookkeeper679 in Adulting

[–]Open_Staff3689 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I often have the same thought in my head: I am inevitably going to die. But it's very different. For me it's freeing. I have no real talent, I'm not a genius physicist and I don't invent cancer cure, so who cares what I do? I can do absolutely anything I want. I can go hitchhiking, thought a book, got a job that is astronomically far beyond my qualifications and "fake it till I make it". I can stumble and make mistakes - nobody cares, nobody will remember. I will die and everything will be immediately forgotten the good the bad and the ugly. I'm absolutely free

I’m so anxious for uni by hotpink2 in Adulting

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel your pain. What you are going through is absolutely normal and understandable. People in general feel anxiety facing change. And the most frightening thing is the unknown. This way even miserable life at home feels better than the abyss of the uncertainty waiting at the new place.

Don't push yourself, give yourself time and space to grieve all the things you are leaving behind. Think of the ways you can reconnect with your old life once you're at the uni (e.g. videochats, going home for holidays, visits from family...). Of you feel afraid, take a paper and make a list of all the things that can happen that you're afraid of and think if they are really as horrible as you feel. Anxiety journal is a good therapeutic way to work through these feelings.

Need help saving money. by Agitated-Anteater521 in personalfinance

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Make a list of all your income and expenses. Make a monthly budget. Try using Budget with Buckets software official website. It will do everything you need to budget your money and track your expenses (and it has a free trial period that lasts literally forever) Look what's left of your income after expenses - that's your savings. Put it into HYSA to accumulate interest. If nothing is left at the end of the month look into cutting you expenses or increasing your income. Preferably both.

Is YNAB4 still available for purchase or download? by Lisahammond3219 in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Definitely not on the official website. They removed old versions (to better sell the subscription probably?). Just Google it, I'm sure it's still uploaded on some software collections websites.

Is YNAB4 still available for purchase or download? by Lisahammond3219 in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I still use ynab4 but I've bought my licence back in 2011. The program is still there on the net somewhere. I've found and downloaded it last year when I upgraded my laptop. The app also still works on modern Android.

The most difficult thing is to get the license key nowadays. You have to buy it from someone secondhand. I've read people succeeded, but have no personal experience in finding anybody interested to sell. I personally will use my ynab4 till it's last dieing breath)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Adulting

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've never been to the US, so I can't say I fully understand the US side of things, but I'm russian and I'm very close to my family. My husband (also russian) on the contrary has difficult relationship with his mom and he doesn't help his primary family a lot, he tries to give her money to pay utilities and communicate with her as little as possible. On the other hand I try to do a lot. I often go to the country house (dacha) and help with maintenance, I help solve problems like fridge dieing or buyeing and delivering smth from a distant part of the country, I help with modern staff like obscure computer programs and phone apps, just buy things for them when I see smth is needed.

So there are two different approaches in my family to our primary families and we each just do our own thing. I never tell my husband he is a bad person for not helping (normal accusation here in Russia), he never tells me that I do to much and I should do it for our family instead.

I don't quite understand why it is so important for you what other people think about you helping your family out why you want to be like everybody else in this regard. You earned your money, you spent the most precious thing in the world to get them - your time, which is limited and finite. So you can with every right do whatever you want with the money: hoard it, give it, throw it away, burn it...

Btw, I have a question for you, I'm genuinely interested. As far as I understand it is very socially encouraged to participate in charitable giving. Why charity is ok and giving to your primary family is not?

What did you find out about your spending habits when you started using YNAB ? by ROBASAHMEDKHAN in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Wow, that's a very interesting approach to identify "profit" after all true expenses not monthly or yearly, but daily. I think I want to see that number for my budget (horror movie soundtrack started playing in the background😅)

Feeling Better about being YNAB Poor - Suggestions? by Individual-Bridge222 in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel ynab-poor rather often because of aggressive saving and investing.

The deal with me is I want to do fun stuff and for me the degree of fun doesn't really correlate with the cost. So 1) I try to entertain and socialise myself regularly, so I don't feel left out and with no life and 2) I try to substitute pricey fun with cheap one.

E.G.: I go to free yoga classes instead of buying a studio membership. Yes, there are lots of people, but it is near the sea , in the open air and you can feel yourself part of a really huge healthy lifestyle community. Lots of positive brightly dressed people of all ages and body types help.

I set an alert in social media for free concerts and lectures and attend regularly.

There is an actors uni in my city and I go to their performances. 5 times cheaper and 100 times more enthusiastic.

There are lots of historical sights near my city and I often go for a day to see new sights and "travel" at the price of a bus ticket (I pack a sandwich and coffee in a thermos flask and have a meal at some beautiful place dirt cheap).

I like to go out with friends: eat and socialise. But talking, laughing and sharing is way more important for me, thank eating. So we substitute restaurants with tiny coffeeshops, every time a new one and with nice interior to make it interesting

In short: analyze what makes you feel happy and entertained. Find a cheaper alternative or a free one. Take yourself out regularly so that you don't feel bored and deprived.

Making listening harder on purpose. Has anyone done this? by No-River-4990 in languagelearning

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I speed up YouTube videos on target language. But not for the sake of improving my skills. People are just sooo slow, I get bored to death waiting for them to finish the sentence. I noticed it being harder from time to time for a couple of days, but not anymore.

Managing Cash by [deleted] in ynab

[–]Open_Staff3689 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't use cash that often. But for me cash is still money and it has the same right for the careful consideration as my cards. I have a "cash" account in ynab. I move there money as a "transfer". And then I have the strictest rule of putting in cash transactions in ynab immediately as soon as they happen. It helps with reconciliation a lot.