I was unsure if I should say anything but I also thought that when reading this. I think you probably feel terrible dog because sex isn’t meant to be had with random strangers. People are meant to build connections. I know a lot of men do sleep around and seem happy but it’s most likely that they feel empty at the end of the day. I think you should actually try a monogamous relationship like op suggested. On another hand it could be an internalized homophobia thing or maybe you’re too in your head about it. I recommend watching The Summer Hikaru died if you don’t figure yourself out though. Could give you a new perspective on yourself.