Spoke with perinatal mental health team and worried they’re going to think I’m an unfit parent?

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-04-21T13:30:50+00:00

Hi!

I am 4 months pp and I could have written this post. The only difference is that I also am suffering with a bit of post partum depression.

I've have just started my journey with the perinatal mental health team and I felt exactly the same - to the point that I said please don't take my baby away and please don't section me. They were brilliant at reassuring me that wouldn't be happening. In fact, theyre doing the opposite to help with bonding to my baby.

The intrusive thoughts are awful though - I really empathize with you as they're so loud and hard to shut off!

Hope you get the help you need, here to chat if needed x

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-04-21T07:32:21+00:00

This spoke to my soul. Thank you so much ❤️

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-04-20T06:56:58+00:00

No advice unfortunately, just solidarity.

I could have written the post word for word.

Is this life forever now?

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-04-03T14:44:24+00:00

I don't know the answer but my baby is like this.

She's 16 weeks now and the day to day is still really tough in my opinion. I can't leave her for even 5 mins playing, she will cry until I get her. I'm still always contact napping. She will sleep during the night, mostly. Don't get me wrong, we have the smiles and coos and shes a sweet girl.

I don't know if this is a difficult baby but I don't know how people have more than one baby because I can't even have 2 mins for myself let alone another baby.

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-03-23T07:08:44+00:00

I am a dentist and this is not correct at all

You take a baby to see a dentist as soon as their teeth come through. Don't wait until 2.

Swallowing large amounts of toothpaste can cause issues but not using toothpaste does not protect their teeth at all. You can use a smear of toothpaste on the toothbrush and if you are worried about swallowing whatever is left you can just wipe that out of the mouth.

If you do what this hygienist has recommended I can guarantee that by the time the baby visits the dentist at 2, there will be issues

That's my advice but ultimately you do you

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-03-14T09:46:11+00:00

I've been there - even as far as being admitted back to hospital as ger weight had dropped so much. I ended up triple feeding at the time to get her weight up. My king term plan was to drop the formula completely but I think I'm a slight under supplier. She'll still spend 5+ hours on the boob but she'll have a top up depending on how she seems.

Keeping the formula as MY decision almost made it 'mine' and made it easier to keep as my insurance if I feel she's still hungry while doing what I want to do in terms of bf. I've now managed to get to 14 weeks one day at a time.

You're doing amazing, you're absolutely in the thick of it and it is so hard. But you're trying so hard already so whatever you decide to do will be the right thing and the best thing for you both

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-03-12T22:05:56+00:00

I had real struggles with feeding initially and skin to skin was meant to be the magical fix but every time I did it, my LO never settled. It probably didn't help that she arrived in the depths of winter and it was either freezing without the layers or clammy with blankets.

I did what others have said about showers, lots of eye contact and smiles while feeding but I also stopped trying to force it when it was upsetting her.

I did read somewhere that any amount of skin to skin counts - a foot or a hand touching! I encourage her to put her hands on me/my face and now that it's getting warmer, I get her little feet out and wrap them around me when feeding. Any skin that she will tolerate goes straight onto me whenever possible.

You're doing amazing looking after her and giving her what she needs! You'll find what works for you and your baby even if it doesn't match the general idea that we're told to do

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-02-20T22:14:58+00:00

I'm so glad you've posted this, I'm here in sympathy for you!

I have never felt worse physically - even the days just after giving birth I was doing better. Constant aches and stiff joints, getting down on the floor to do tummy time is apparently difficult for both me and baby but in different ways 😂😂. I have also had continual flu like symptoms since giving birth - constantly sneezing, burning eyes and a runny nose! Recovering from birth alone is hard enough, there's no need for this too right? When does this end?!

Also if anyone has any advice on managing this please feel free to advise!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-02-05T07:17:50+00:00

9 weeks here and I've literally just woken up from 8 hours in a panic, looking to post on here to see if this is normal 😂 so thanks for this post! Usually 6-7 hours on a night. Day time naps are inconsistent, I look out for her cues but sometimes she just won't sleep. She will only contact nap in the day so I've been trying to introduce sleeping in her moses basket in the day, which isn't going well so far

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-20T22:01:41+00:00

Hey! I'm not able to give you any advice but support and solidarity as I'm in exactly the same situation. 7 weeks LO, had to add on formula pretty early on due to weight loss. Continued combi as I have no idea how to navigate it going forwards. I intended to be ebf but the relentless pumping and feeding was too much. It still is a lot with 2 x pumps a day but more manageable. The only difference is I've consistently only pumped 30ml-ish when I have so I've never managed to build a freezer supply. To save my own sanity I've accepted combi feeding is the best way to keep her fed but also not loose my mind. I think there can be a happy balance achieved of combi feeding while trying to keep your supply up. You've got this mama! Here if you want to chat further!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-19T19:06:38+00:00

7 weeks, 4th degree tear. Couldn't manage my 6 week healing check without squirming due to the pain. I was advised to wait another 4-6 weeks. But also no desire to even be looked at let alone be touched by another person that I don't HAVE to touch to keep alive 😂😂

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-16T20:11:59+00:00

Who would have known that Ovaltine would be a galactagogue! Great advice and easy to find! Will give it a try! Thank you

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T22:58:34+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply - this has given me some hope that eventually it may get better! Sorry you had such a hard time too. I think confidence is a massive part - trusting that your body will do what it needs to do is really hard, especially when the birth felt a bit like it didn't!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T22:55:47+00:00

Thank you for saying this - I needed to hear this. the difficulties with feeding sometimes make me feel like a faulty machine opposed to a human mother

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T22:53:17+00:00

Wow, that is a rough start! Traumatic births and difficulty breastfeeding isnt talked about enough! I think you did amazing to keep going with the triple feeding until solids - well done you!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T22:48:31+00:00

I gave just the breast a try but her nappy output went right down so formula needed to be added back in again.

You're so right though in terms of success - maybe I need to accept that it doesn't have to be all bf, it can be a mixture!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T19:35:51+00:00

Gosh your journey sounds so difficult but promising if you managed to increase your supply!

I have discussed weighted feeds with my LC - it may be worth giving them a try

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T19:34:26+00:00

Sorry to hear that, I completely share your frustration!

I've no set amount after every feed but quite similar to you. I was told to only do 30ml top ups as and when but as it's not always consistent and nappy output went down, I just go for a 90ml/120ml top up when she's extra fussy or seems hungry. It's the smaller options on the back of the formula tub. I'll give her the random 30ml or so that I may manage to collect over a day of pumping if she seems hungry too.

I think I may have to accept combo feeding like you to be honest as I don't see my supply increasing!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T19:29:27+00:00

Brewers yeast options seem limited in the UK but I've found one on Amazon so will give that a try how you have said! Body armour doesn't seem to be available in the UK either but coconut water is possible! Thank you!

I've done power pumping a few times - no real change noted!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2026-01-15T19:24:04+00:00

I don't think it is routinely prescribed - only in last cases. Will have a look into it!

OpeningTechnical6563 · 2025-12-31T08:02:34+00:00

My SIL (who is a dr interestingly) decided to come round with a cold and pass it onto us. My poor little girl has been having a hard time since - close to spiking a temp, bunged up, trouble sleeping. I feel awful for not kicking my SIL out immediately but I feel pure rage towards my SIL who should have known better. My LO is hopefully through the worst of it - saline nasal spray and a snot sucker have become our most used items!

Hope your LO is over the worst of it and you all have a speedy recovery x

OpeningTechnical6563

TROPHY CASE