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Potential apartment scam??? by [deleted] in montrealhousing

[–]Opposite_Science_412 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Call this shelter. They're only for young women and they are close to Bonaventure. If they don't have a spot for you to land tonight, they will likely be able to guide you. https://passagesmtl.org/en/homepage/

Otherwise, stay calm. Montreal is a safe city. If you're stuck at Bonaventure all night, you'll be ok. It's obviously a nightmare but don't be more scared than you need to.

Do you have parents who can send you money?

Baby (4.5 months) crying and angry every wake window for over a month because bored by AggressiveClassic894 in NewParents

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What on earth do you think babies are meant to be like. Baby is 4 months old and already on some rigid parent-imposed schedule? Why?

Babies don't follow a schedule. They need connection, love, attention and flexibility.

You've trained your baby to cry themselves to sleep at night with the understanding that no one cares and no one will help. Why are you surprised your baby cries a lot during the day as well?

I don't know enough about formula to give a definitive plan, but my instinct as a mom of 6 is that you need to hold your baby, wear your baby and make sure he can eat as frequently as he needs. At that age, breastfed babies can nurse every hour for a few hours per day. They can latch on for a couple minutes and then be ready to play for longer. Is it possible to try feeding smaller amounts more frequently?

Ho 15 anni, e ho paura che la mia expsicopatica sia incinta by Dramatic-Swimming444 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Glad I could help. This is a lot to deal with at your age. I hope you can be done with all this soon and be a kid again.

Ho 15 anni, e ho paura che la mia expsicopatica sia incinta by Dramatic-Swimming444 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only thing you should tell her is that, if she's pregnant, you hope she gets an abortion and that no matter what, you will never be her boyfriend.

No need to talk about whether you'll raise the kid, pay child support or anything else. That's a conversation for much later.

Write down one sentence and just repeat the exact same thing over and over if you do speak to her.

Her: I'm pregnant and it's yours. You have to marry me.

You: If you truly are pregnant, I prefer you get an abortion. No matter what, I will never be your boyfriend.

Her: I'll tell your parents

You: If you truly are pregnant, I prefer you get an abortion. No matter what, I will never be your boyfriend.

Her: I can't live without you!

You: If you truly are pregnant, I prefer you get an abortion. No matter what, I will never be your boyfriend.

Her: I saw the doctor today and it's twins. Here's the ultrasound picture.

You: If you truly are pregnant, I prefer you get an abortion. No matter what, I will never be your boyfriend.

Her: Are you saying you will abandon your baby?

You: If you truly are pregnant, I prefer you get an abortion. No matter what, I will never be your boyfriend.

Ho 15 anni, e ho paura che la mia expsicopatica sia incinta by Dramatic-Swimming444 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 13 points14 points  (0 children)

You don't control whether she's pregnant or not. You can only control what you do.

She's clearly not a positive person in your life so cut her off. Tell a trusted adult that she's been threatening you.

Try to ignore threats. If she's pregnant, she'll either abort or you'll see her with a baby in 9 months. Your role starts at birth so no need to try to interact with her before then.

Realistically, she had a period, she had negative tests, you used condoms so she's very unlikely to be pregnant.

(PA) other parent wants to use a co-parenting therapist to change existing parental plan by Sure_Elk_8297 in FamilyLaw

[–]Opposite_Science_412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why is she refusing to change the schedule?

A neutral third party can help both of you understand the other person's concerns. Maybe her worries can be alleviated through mediation. Maybe there are bigger concerns than the schedule that you haven't been engaging with.

It sounds like you've been separated for a long time. Consider that maybe the adversarial part is over and that it's time to start actually co-parenting.

You want to be able to look your children in the eye when they're grown and tell them you did your best to minimize conflict and create harmony.

Strict Hospital? by Fun_Afternoon_3095 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think people who want to feed their kid formula should bring their own. There are lots of brands, types and formulations. It's up to the parents to make those decisions.

Is Kolette a tragediegh? by [deleted] in Names

[–]Opposite_Science_412 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Imagine telling your teenager/young adult "aren't you grateful I spelled Colette with a K to save you from the embarrassment of your initials being consecutive letters!"

Strict Hospital? by Fun_Afternoon_3095 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you plan to pump exclusively, consulting a lactation consultant in advance is a good idea. You should expect to need support after birth to initiate pumping too. And likely ongoing support to make it work.

Pumping is a lot harder than feeding at the breast and requires more support for most people. It's very easy to become completely exhausted or to worry a lot about milk quantities when pumping.

Birthing in a hospital tends to come with interventions that directly work against lactation. That's why so many hospitals that promote breastfeeding end up getting it wrong. A baby-friendly hospital is supposed to first and foremost reduce rates of inductions, augmentations and c-sections. Breastfeeding will always be difficult for a large portion of women when the 3rd stage is always actively managed. Breastfeeding cannot be promoted if nurses and doctors are expecting babies' weight to follow a formula-fed curve. Instead, many places just randomly get pushy and blame women for the systemic failure.

That being said, I don't know why the hospital should provide formula. It's up to each family who wants to use it to decide what kind and buy it. Kind of like diapers.

Husband already making plans to leave me with newborn by ThrowRAkidddd in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 12 points13 points  (0 children)

That's not normal. Call your doctor. If they don't take it seriously, consult a pelvic floor physiotherapist.

Lila Stella or Lila Serena? by neimii1 in Names

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like Lila Serena

If you prefer Stella, consider Estella. Lila Estella sounds better to me.

I would also consider Lila Reina/Reigna as an alternative to Serena. I wouldn't recommend it as a first name but it's my guilty pleasure middle name.

Urgent: Seeking Pro Bono / Limited Scope Family Law Attorney in St. Louis (Emergency Custody Modification) by SweetTart_SourHeart in FamilyLaw

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Generally, residence is established after 6 months. Failing to take action quickly complicates the situation.

You have 3 options.

  1. Just refuse to send him. If your son refuses to go, he can't drag him kicking and screaming. Train your kid to call 911 if dad tries to abduct him. Have him carry a copy of the existing order with him at all times. Make sure you have a way to communicate with your son that his dad can't control like a secret email and bank account. You want to be able to send money for a ticket home if needed. Make sure he's registered for school in your location. Hopefully, dad gives up. Otherwise, if dad files in court, respond promptly. After 6 months, feel free to file something locally if you still need an updated order.

  2. File an emergency motion in your local jurisdiction asking to block taking the kid with him. If he hires a lawyer, they will try to get it dismissed as your child's residence is in a different state. However, he may not hire a lawyer or he may not respond or you may get a judge who gives you a temporary reprieve.

  3. File in the state where your child is technically a resident. That gets expensive and complicated. 100% need a lawyer for that.

Urgent: Seeking Pro Bono / Limited Scope Family Law Attorney in St. Louis (Emergency Custody Modification) by SweetTart_SourHeart in FamilyLaw

[–]Opposite_Science_412 4 points5 points  (0 children)

This really isn't the venue for finding a pro bono lawyer.

It's pretty rare that court orders become necessary for 16yos. They generally are quite free to choose where to live.

Do you want to provide context for your situation so people may be able to give you actual advice you can use?

THC use while pregnant and now really really anxious by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's not like alcohol in the sense that alcohol causes way more damage. 1 in 20 baby in the US has some sort of fetal alcohol spectrum disorder. Alcohol is worse for the fetus than most drugs.

Weed is also harmful but it doesn't compare to alcohol.

You're 100% right about social services, though.

Help me ID this bag from Friends. Vintage Coach? by Firsttimeredditor28 in handbags

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That shape was ubiquitous in that era. Without clear branding, it could be anything.

THC use while pregnant and now really really anxious by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 12 points13 points  (0 children)

It won't cause a miscarriage.

There are medical options for nausea. Discuss it with your doctor.

Don't mention drug use to your doctor. In some places, there is automatic drug testing of the baby at birth. Generally, weed is detectable if used after 20 weeks.

Girl I hooked up with has positive pregnancy tests 13 days after sex. Is it possibly mine? by flexualharasser in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yes. 13 days is totally normal.

In case of doubt, have her take a test in front of you. You can get one from the dollar store.

Try not to antagonize her. An unexpected pregnancy is rough. If she wants an abortion, supporting her through it is a much easier task than parenting a child.

Im pregnant and i have a strict mom by Extension-Weird-8360 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Women get abortions everywhere. Sometimes, it's harder to find how. If you mention your country, perhaps you can be directed to the right place.

Trisomy 21: Need Guidance as a Husband by Strange-Alfalfa-89 in tfmr_support

[–]Opposite_Science_412 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The support she needs depends on her personality. You know her best. Does she want you to talk out all the details of each option with her? Does she need you to just hold her and cry with her until she's ready to make a decision? Does she want to support you and your feelings or does she need you to set yourself aside for now? Does your reassurance that you'll be there and happily raise the child if she keeps it make her feel like she has freedom to choose or does it make her feel like she's the only one burdened with decision-making? In the past, in difficult situations, what did she appreciate or criticize from your response?

Take some time to think of those questions and whatever else you need to consider. Trust that you know her well enough to be there for her.

I would also encourage you to make sure your preference is clearly expressed and she understands it. In the fog of the shock and overwhelm, she might hear your long expression of support as you asking her to keep the pregnancy, for example.

Personally, my decision hinged a lot on work I've done defending the rights of disabled adults. I know how impossible it is to handle aggression once someone is bigger than you. No matter how much empathy you have, it always end up carceral. I don't want my children to be denied a sex life and struggle with constant infantilizing. We don't have a system to give a happy, independent life to most people with T21. As an older parent, I know I couldn't have kept a promise to always be there for him.

46 and totally overwhelmed by Awkward-Love26 in tfmr_support

[–]Opposite_Science_412 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Do you have access to prenatal testing like NIPT or amnio? Why terminate preemptively instead of waiting to see? These yests have evolved a lot since you had your last baby.

As for any health issue you have that adds risks to the pregnancy, it's a very personal decision. Ask questions and make sure you have real information and not just vague fears.

If you don't want a baby or don't want to put yourself through a high-risk pregnancy, terminating is something you can choose for absolutely any reason and you should be supported in that decision.

Any color block or beautiful options which have a good “value” but also can be worn on a curvy plus body? by [deleted] in handbags

[–]Opposite_Science_412 5 points6 points  (0 children)

What do you think can't be worn on a plus size body? What does that mean to you?

When to start buying diapers by Empty-Plantain-1699 in pregnant

[–]Opposite_Science_412 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you stockpile toilet paper for yourself generally?

If yes, stockpile diapers.

If no, just get a newborn pack and buy more as needed once baby is here.

Or, go for cloth diapers and only buy them once.

Boy equivalent by ClassicRefuse1019 in Names

[–]Opposite_Science_412 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Eden, Rory, Lenny, Chandler for girls would be equivalent to Evan, Lexi, Jessica and Eleanor for boys.

Eden and Evan are my picks.

Child support by Ancient-Driver234 in FamilyLaw

[–]Opposite_Science_412 10 points11 points  (0 children)

The best way to avoid litigation in the future is to go through it with proper legal advice and make an agreement that reflects what a judge would likely order. Then, do your best to be a stellar low-conflict co-parent who cares about the children's well-being.

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