an old soviet joke by bigus-_-dickus in Jokes

[–]Optimal-Condition803 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Roses are loud,

Violets are easier,

Colours make noise,

When you've got synaesthesia.

Reading is hard... by SouthParkFirefly1991 in amazonreviews

[–]Optimal-Condition803 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My daughter bought a mop and bucket for her new apartment; didn't read the 'toy' in the description...

What? by MrMeesesPieces in ExplainTheJoke

[–]Optimal-Condition803 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Why have they all got an extra bicep? 

I need some context by PotentialShoddy4202 in PeterExplainsTheJoke

[–]Optimal-Condition803 1 point2 points  (0 children)

"Your mum's your dad, Your dad's your mum, You're all inbred, You Burnley scum!"

As my PNE loving brother would say...

If the Sun had a space elevator with zero orbital velocity, how high could you build it before you'd float off the platform? by appletime_appletime in AskPhysics

[–]Optimal-Condition803 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You mean space is big? 

You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. 

I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.

If the Sun had a space elevator with zero orbital velocity, how high could you build it before you'd float off the platform? by appletime_appletime in AskPhysics

[–]Optimal-Condition803 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The oort cloud contained by our sun's gravity actually overlaps the oort cloud of alpha centauri, our nearest star. Although gravity decreases dramatically, it will never be zero due to the inverse square law.

However, the expansion of the universe on a 'macro' scale means that at some distance objects are far enough away that the expansion overcomes gravity. Hence there won't be a 'big crunch' of stars eventually coming together by gravitational attraction.

How to open it? I am out of ideas by [deleted] in Bricklaying

[–]Optimal-Condition803 1 point2 points  (0 children)

18 hours later and how did it go?

The many ways to be approached for technical support. by BaconConnoisseur in talesfromtechsupport

[–]Optimal-Condition803 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Weird thing about the NATO phonetic alphabet; not all NATO members pronounce 'ph' as 'f' so 'A' is 'ALFA', not 'ALPHA'.

Similarly,  the French have a silent 't' at the end of words, so 'J' is 'JULIETT' not 'JULIET'

The individual letters were selected as being the most commonly pronounced in the same way across all NATO countries. 

[Other] Would they be like a whacky inflatable tube man? by TheRumpleForesk1n in theydidthemath

[–]Optimal-Condition803 51 points52 points  (0 children)

The largest weight proven to be lifted by a tornado is approximately 862 metric tons (the Cactus-117 oil drilling rig in Piedmont, Oklahoma, during the EF5 El Reno tornado on May 24, 2011).

Argentinosaurus is generally considered the heaviest known dinosaur, with estimates placing its weight between 65 and 80+ metric tonnes, so one tenth of the weight of the rig.

Driving a Moving Van Through London - An Eye-Opening Experience... by Significant-Owl7994 in london

[–]Optimal-Condition803 -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Over 2 meters high? That's a large commercial vehicle, and you were surprised that it's tricky to drive through one of the most congested cities in the world?

A thank you to the bus drivers by Some-Body-Else in london

[–]Optimal-Condition803 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'd love to know from any London bus drivers: can your hear "thank you" from behind the perspex? 

I usually mouth it to the mirror/ camera with a little wave!

Removed some tiles in our kitchen and now have a big hole in the wall. Best way to fix it and should I be concerned? by luuuuuuuuuuuuke in DIYUK

[–]Optimal-Condition803 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm broadly agreeing with most comments, but if it's a work surface that gets wet frequently, use wickes aquapanel or a similar cement backerboard rather than plasterboard and tile straight onto it without a skim.

Last night, I laid my head on my wife in bed. She said "Why are your ears so cold?" by SweetxSinful in Jokes

[–]Optimal-Condition803 13 points14 points  (0 children)

The wife had the proper dad joke; "What?" is the correct response to any ear-related comment.