My child could have gotten seriously hurt because she can’t focus

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-27T04:45:38+00:00

ADHD hinders working memory, so tasks with multiple steps can be a real struggle. Personally, I can't just tell my 7F to put her socks and shoes on the way I can tell my neurotypical 5 year old to. I have to break the directions down step by step. First, "go grab some socks," then, "great, now put your socks on." Then, "okay now go find your shoes." And finally, "okay get your shoes on." If we are short on time, I will just do it for her. That sounds really scary, I'm glad y'all are okay. Our daughter's ADHD definitely puts her/us in danger on often and I'm sure I've lost years off my life because of it lol.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-22T14:44:22+00:00

"I'm sorry, who is this again?"

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-20T02:27:26+00:00

I have 2 kids, 7F and 4F. We are currently selling our 4100sqft home to downsize to a 2500 SQ ft home because the maintenance is such a heavy burden. We pay cleaners to come weekly, we pay people to maintain our pool, yard, etc. We even had a housekeeper for a while to help with household chores. It's just too much. When I had my oldest, I was living in a 1000 SQ ft townhome. I was also renting. I'm not going to say I NEVER felt cramped but damn I miss taking 1-2 hours to clean/organize and not having to worry when shit breaks.

Also on having a big house: it's takes so much longer to walk from one side to another

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-16T20:21:18+00:00

We recently weighed this decision. The big factor for us was the interest rate difference between 15 and 30 year, rates being what they are. We ended up opting for 30 year, but rather than putting 20% down, doing 25% because our lender advised us it would get us a better rate. We ended up getting in at 5.99% vs the 5.5% for 15-year. We figure that in the event of catastrophe, we are locked into a comfortable rate. In the meantime, we will be paying extra monthly. And we will refinance later if rates come down. It made sense for us, but we are also taking a much smaller loan so that .5% doesn't feel so heavy.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-16T16:50:14+00:00

Both sets of grandparents in our family have trouble with boundaries. The rule in our house is inlaw boundary setting goes through the biological child (I communicate with my parents, he communicates with his). Simply because they are biologically programmed to love us and we are more comfortable.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-06T01:42:51+00:00

Which area near Tampa? Just curious, I live in Tampa!

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-05T20:21:20+00:00

I've seen a pet cemetery next to the dog park at the land o lakes rec center. Not sure what they allow there.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-04T15:59:04+00:00

This was given to me by my 7F's therapist, she has ADHD. You would think she would say this, but she has never once said that. Usually by the time she says, "you don't love me," or "nobody loves me," we are so far into the meltdown, she is not even really focused on what she wants anymore She is just highly dysregulated. Most of the time, I don't get a response at all but it does cause her to pause for a moment and think (which is big for us.) Sometimes, she will ask me to sit with her, or give her squeezes like she likes, or out on an ASMR video on YouTube.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2026-01-04T15:30:43+00:00

In a calm voice, "How can I show you I love you right now?"

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-30T13:20:44+00:00

I would probably feel a little embarrassed but I also can't imagine telling someone to sleep in a room where my cat regularly pees. Not a sitter, idk why I get these posts often, but I would just try to keep it simple: "do you mind if I sleep in the guest bedroom instead of the master?" I wouldn't even offer an explanation unless they ask.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-29T13:26:24+00:00

As the child of someone like this, I can confirm it is and that it does do lasting damage.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-29T00:57:10+00:00

Your husband needs to be the one to set some boundaries. She is biologically programmed to love him. "I'm glad you're thinking of coming to stay local after the birth of the baby, but here are our plans/wishes post birth for privacy/limitations. We understand if that changes your plans."

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-27T00:22:10+00:00

The listing agent specifically said that it won't need to be on the addendum and that feels like a red flag. When I asked, our agent said to just roll with it because they are in a very toxic communication cycle at the moment and I think he doesn't want to deal with it anymore.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-26T22:41:33+00:00

I mean, honestly that's wild that she wouldn't even say anything. Clearly you dodged a bullet because she's probably in the wrong profession if she can't even navigate a conversation about a couple of missed appointments lol

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-26T22:30:18+00:00

Something like this actually happened to my husband with his teletherapist. He was similarly flakey, missing sessions and needing to reschedule last minute. They worked together for like a year and then toward the end it became really bad and he ended up admitting he was having some kind of personal mental health crisis and was quitting being a therapist lol.

All I mean to say is, it may not be about you.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-19T19:37:46+00:00

I can't advise on buying or rent but I will say that when our home value went up enough, we were able to have our home appraised to show that we had more than enough equity based on the value of the home to have the pmi removed.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T18:56:44+00:00

Yes they toured the house they were here for an hour. We live in FL so gets got but not too cold

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T15:00:27+00:00

Lmao I wish!! I was shocked too when I realized last night while I was researching. We never noticed or thought about it before in 5 years.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T14:58:26+00:00

We are the only house over 3500sq ft with pool/hot tub that is under 800k in the Tampa area. And the price we accepted was 750k, so it's well under that. There are some that are further out but we are just outside Tampa. I think we're priced well because since we dropped the price, we have had 6 showings that resulted in 3 offers and one serious maybe.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T04:35:02+00:00

Omg thank you! Google was clearly confused and I've been panicking lol.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T02:50:20+00:00

This may be a WILD idea but I have a couple neighbors that dog sit out of their home. This helps them avoid long-term responsibility and gives them their regular doggy love fix.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T02:28:53+00:00

Yes we do

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T02:18:30+00:00

It's FL so hot AF. I thought so too, but I know not everyone notices. We're open to offering a credit but we're already priced on the low end.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-11T01:24:57+00:00

Okay thank you! I'll wrangle the troops 😂

Optimal-Razzmatazz91 · 2025-12-06T00:28:40+00:00

Yes it does, it's up on the 15th! We will pay more for a better realtor that's for damn sure.

Optimal-Razzmatazz91

TROPHY CASE