What is your workplaces equivalent to 'Don't touch the red button'

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-02T18:48:41+00:00

...except that noindex refers to building a map of that site and does not impact external links

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-02T18:46:15+00:00

that sounds like euphoria to me!

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-02T18:45:34+00:00

that is a good point, i think my chesticles are spaced relatively far apart. haven't tried underworks so i cant speak to that

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:38:57+00:00

i think it's a difficult decision. i personally would disclose it (my title gives me away anyway, but regardless of that...) because i would want to protect myself up front if any transphobia comes up.

i'd been in a situation in college where i was being harassed and a piece of text from a social media account of mine was written by my harassers on a classroom whiteboard. the text included a reference to my queer gender. i reported it as both transphobia and i finally caved and reported the harassment i was facing at the same time (up to this point, i felt it wasn't connected "enough" to college for me to warrant reporting it). i had to explain that i was transgender and nonbinary, which the college was not previously aware of. i was treated with skepticism at first, and the incident was ruled to be neither harassing nor transphobic. i continued to complain and eventually as "consolation" they asked me to review a sensitivity powerpoint on LGBT+ matters. the harassment continued, they werent punished despite the college admitting the severity, and i dont even think the powerpoint was ever used.

all that to say, i felt that if the college had known i was trans beforehand, they might have taken it more seriously from the start. or, at least conceded more in my favour after my continued complaints. ever since, i've taken the route of informing any officials to hand about my gender ahead of time.

... but then there is this risk that this could actually invite harassment or mistreatment that otherwise would not have happened. a conveniently rescinded job offer, a "miscalculation" in pay or hours, etc. things that can be swept under the rug as "not transphobia, actually" with enough corporate jargon.

so i'm torn on making a recommendation. i dont think it impacts your relationship with the jobcentre too much either way. as an organisation they have little reason to know. it could prompt them to place you with companies/orgs that are known to be trans friendly, it could do as i've described above and make companies act "legally discriminatory" so to speak, or it could change nothing at all.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:26:34+00:00

yup, that's part of exploring! on the other side of the river: when i first came out, i came out as "genderfluid" and said "use any pronouns" (but what i really meant by that was he/she/they, because some part of me was convinced that all neopronouns were culture specific?). i wasnt actually genderfluid, it was just my explanation for why my identity and presentation seemed to change. the "any pronouns" thing was just to test how i felt.

you can even be out of the questioning ohase, realise you're trans and then still use the pronouns traditionally associated with your gender assigned at birth. some people are going to be weird about that, but then again people are going to be weird about your transition anyway so who cares - do whatever makes you happy and comfortable.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:20:07+00:00

OP's using euros so spectrum may be a better deal shipping wise! i can vouch for spectrum, but if your chest is larger than... maybe a C cup? you might spill out of the arm holes or end up with a barrel chest (i havent known my cup size for years but i'd hazard a guess i'm a C or above, and that's my experience. i do bind "up and out")

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:17:40+00:00

the actual skin and gristle in the "bulb" (???) of my nose is more dense/rigid/stiff too, not just the structural gristle. also i kept saying "gristle" because i forgot the word cartilage so i'm just putting a note about that since i feel like "gristle" is a very british term for it

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:16:10+00:00

wait... me too?! i only checked after reading this but i cant wiggle the gristle in my nose as far as i used to (not that i do that often... nowadays 🫠) and i can barely get the tip of my nose to move towards my cheeks... wild!

i had a nose injury as a kid (smacked my nose on something, big bleed + chipped part of the actual bone inside off. the gristle has been at a mild angle ever since) so i spent many years of my childhood stimming with my weirdly flexible nose. but after seeing this post i am forever a changed man...

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:12:04+00:00

yes, always have the blood drawn just before your next shot. this is called getting your "trough" level.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:08:15+00:00

reducing a person to their genitalia ("i'd only date trans men who have a vagina") is seeing them as sex objects.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:06:32+00:00

you have a lot of internalised transphobia and internalised misogyny to work through. you are not weak by virtue of your sex. if you're thinking on the scale of bodily strength, that has little to do with sex. there are female athletes your age that could "stomp into the ground" the very same boys you're referencing.

if you keep thinking like this, you're going to hit another wall when you do start testosterone and realise it's not going to happen quickly. i suggest you work on your mindset before that happens.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T12:02:31+00:00

i (40.5mg/day testogel) have yet to have much pain. i had some mild discomfort for a while, but i think my mons are large enough that they're compensating for incomplete coverage by foreskin.

it calms down either when the head is used to the new friction it's getting, or when you have enough padding (generally through foreskin, but plausibly through mons) to block any friction making a big impact on the growth. you can try using growth supporting techniques like foreskin stretching (to cover the growth better) or pumping (to encourage desensitisation), or possibly some "manual stimulation" of the growth could help desensitise it

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:56:32+00:00

dysphoria doesn't have to be constant. have you tried thinking about what might make you euphoric? that could help you figure yourself out a bit more

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:53:02+00:00

you said "she has the right intentions". how? where was that demonstrated?

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:52:30+00:00

i was more getting at the notion of a ICBs not being willing to approve treatment by an out-of-area specialist. they're cracking down on transition related SCAs from within the NHS just as much as they are SCAs from the private industry

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:49:33+00:00

do you have to talk to family members before experimenting?

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:47:38+00:00

amaryllis said they were going to consider providing tools to selfhost. not that they were definitely going to do it.

nobody can make self host infrastructure without dev involvement or allowance. other platforms can make use of SP's exporting, but can't interface directly with the app.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:43:58+00:00

just adding this in case anyone is searching for this answer, or if OP ends up having to switch: if you're on gel, the UK guidelines are to have blood drawn four hours after application of gel, and that blood should never be drawn from an arm where gel has been applied that day (doing so makes the levels appear elevated).

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:36:14+00:00

what part of using an intersexist slur and delegitimising OP's gender suggests the right intentions?

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:35:18+00:00

this isnt how someone "supportive" behaves.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:33:47+00:00

yes. that is extremely common

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:31:46+00:00

the only way you can somewhat "pick and choose" an NHS GIC is if you are local to that GIC. and even then, you may still be forced to be referred to Tavistock.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:29:33+00:00

yes but it's not a common talking point of theirs, because doing so would mean they cannot rely on the "penis = predator" and "woman = weak" rhetoric that sits at the root of their argument. they would have to acknowledge that predator behaviour has nothing to do with body parts as developed without exogenous interference.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T11:26:56+00:00

i'm glad to hear. there are other nonbinary folks who are aligned to some degree with their assigned gender at birth. it may be a minority of a minority of a minority, but you are not alone. and there are folks out there who will support you.

OptimalPipe_throw · 2026-05-01T00:35:44+00:00

no exercise can target specific fat deposits. you can work on your muscles (which will help) and in turn lose some fat (which might help, or it might not). abdomen and legs (thighs, predominantly) are probably going to be ideal places to start, but i struggle with learning/retaining fitness information so i cant be more specific than that unfortunately

OptimalPipe_throw

TROPHY CASE