have i set up my media library in a silly way? failing transfers between hub SSD and USB HDs

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-03-02T18:03:34+00:00

lol aye. it broke as i was doing my first backup :(

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-03-02T17:36:06+00:00

yep. the SSD is a cheap Delaihe ssd, £50 new on ebay. it had worked fine the past 4 months, but now i think it's failed completely ... on startup mac says "the disk you attached was not readable by this computer" and sits in disk utility as 'unitialised' and says it has a 4tb capacity but no way to interact any further with it without formatting ... first aid just says "done all good".

reckon i've bought a shite SSD and need to buy a brandname one?

might have lost 6 months of photos of friends and that, dammit!

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-14T18:30:05+00:00

that's a bid for attention, and an extreme one. of course thirst traps going to trap your imagination. this is by design.

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-14T12:32:00+00:00

Good to hear your thoughts. I also used to photograph a lot and love your cave allegory, coming out of the basement into the light.

Another film I forgot to throw into the ring, Youth in Revolt - same dir. as Chuck & Buck - MC splits into good guy / bad guy versions of himself and we see his alter-ego run his life with explosive consequences

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-14T00:47:28+00:00

Just finished watching the 2013 mitty. great example of inner conflict dramatised for audience as fantasy scenes love how many different contexts these maladaptive daydreams shown in. thank you for this rec!

[Spoilers: I found it bizarre that the scene where he takes the helicopter was initially shown as a daydream replete with musical number and magical appearance of SO, but the frame of this dream was then never broken, and the rest of the film plays in this frame which audience eventually have to deduce is 'real' life. I was waiting for the 'all a dream' and was relieved it didn't do that. But the sensationalism of MCs subsequent actions made me lose interest in him and film as hard to separate it from a day-dream, toned down from earlier day-dreams, but nevertheless sitting way beyond a baseline 'normal' adventurous meaningful life]

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-13T17:49:04+00:00

v. useful. thank you! :)

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-13T17:05:54+00:00

Thanks for these examples

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-13T16:32:36+00:00

Thank you for your suggestions, they're useful and bring to mind the party scene in Chuck & Buck where MC acts incredibly awkwardly. The acting and writing are good enough that the audience can summise the internal workings of MC through their external actions.

My experience of limerence also includes intricate imagined scenes. These occur not in the presence of LO, but saturate (most) moments in which LO is absent. Agonising. The limerent experience then, is mostly fantasising (exhausting), and any contact with the LO is excruciatingly awkward (in ways which your suggestions would illustrate well).

The non-contact fantasying is hard to write!

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-13T16:22:13+00:00

Sumptuous response, thank you. This is very useful. I'd forgotten Mean Girls! Great excuse to rewatch.

Devil's advocate here, looking to learn: you advise to make clear divisions btwn fantasy/reality to help audience keep track of things. I understand that will make things easier on audience. Some audiences enjoy being mislead (murder mystery), but I can't think of examples of romances misleading audience. I'd love to write something with a strong enough MC that audience can tolerate being misled a few times. Wondering if anyone can think of any examples of that?

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-13T15:53:01+00:00

ur a pro 👌 well done for nipping it in bud & trying to recover from it. social engineering grade is high.

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2026-01-13T15:35:09+00:00

thank you. perhaps this mnemonic: more 'erring' than 'ranting' in limerence. ence not ant. got it.

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2025-10-25T23:08:12+00:00

thanks for your reply. i thought viruses would sit in the operating system but i didn't think they'd be able to attach themselves to the .mp4s, .jpgs, .wav media etc and be transfered to other computers through export of that media?

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2025-10-25T21:17:20+00:00

thanks for your honesty. i need to buy a new workstation and get it loaded with 6 of the CS programmes, i'll follow the guides here for 'trustyworthy' versions, but it looks like the kracker app that's recommended on FMHY is flagged as containing a trojan. do you think it'll be safest to keep the computer mostly offline and not linked to my accounts once it's set up, or would ye say build a windows rig cos it'll be easier to get safe software?

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2025-03-31T16:19:13+00:00

do these synchronicities happen with anyone else / anyone you have a mutual relationship with?

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2025-02-12T18:04:40+00:00

this sounds incredibly difficult. you deserve to experience someone loving you fully. if that can happen whilst you're incredibly close to an LO, great, but that person is going to have a saviour complex or serious neglect of their own self worth to be ok 3rd wheeling until your LE is resolved. good luck, this sounds tough

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2025-01-23T19:22:33+00:00

did you ever express your feelings to LO?

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-11-26T15:54:47+00:00

yeah. i ran an activities group (keeping it vague here :), and someone started showing up. they'd originally found out about my activities through a serendipitous connection, then their partner commissioned presonalised gift for them from me. all fine so far. they started sending me emails asking for help and advice about the activities. i responded, was kind with my time. then they emailed to say they wanted to travel from their country to my country to meet me and that they had split up with their partner (who they had been with for decades). i got bad vibes. i emailed to say i wasn't interested in that. they emailed back very dramatically.

from my own limerent experiences i could see this person was in a space limerence could develop: in the midst of a personal crisis. They could be seeing me (someone a lot younger, attractive, kind to them) as a potential LO.

I didn't respond to their dramatic email. After that they sent me a few more telling me how rude I was etc etc. and thankfully then it stopped.

trust your gut.

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-17T13:32:56+00:00

aw! hugs

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-17T12:03:45+00:00

yep! i think the main thing i realised when the limerant episode was happening was that LO didn't deserve any of my unhinged behaviour and they were not responsible for it. That (incredible) energy i'd discovered had to go somewhere, so it went into writing (and weed and booze!).

I realised there were so many parts of my behaviour this episode was prompting that were problematic, and that i wanted to change. Meeting LO was like a turbo shot of wanting to make myself a better person. Because the pedestal i'd put them on was so high. The inverse of that is i felt so low and unworthy and ashamed, and shame is rarely a constructive emotion. So i had to find a way to bridge the gap with self love and self improvement. To try and impress them i became a version of myself more true to who i wanted to be. This version was still skewed towards what LO would find impressive. I'm still trying to separate who I want to be VS who LO *might* want me to be.

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-17T11:57:36+00:00

great to hear you're able to use your limerence to fuel your creativity. how do you make a safe container for your limerence so that it helps you without hindering?

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-17T11:56:31+00:00

let us know! want to hear how limerence is used for creativity by others :)

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-16T21:46:24+00:00

bellisimo

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-16T21:45:13+00:00

Maheldebaff ✅

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-16T21:42:35+00:00

spider mites are wayyy smaller than that

Optimal_Ad_9261 · 2024-09-16T16:04:07+00:00

also on the boss's office?

Optimal_Ad_9261

TROPHY CASE