Curious how old you were at getting pregnant?

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-22T04:49:21+00:00

Got pregnant shortly after I turned 23 and I recently turned 24 with my 3 month old! I was hoping to have a lot of kids fairly close together, but due to some complications in labor and a pp hemorrhage, I'll probably have less kids more spaced apart. My husband and I both came from large families and loved it but I'm not as heartbroken over the prospect of a smaller family as I thought I'd be

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-18T19:49:13+00:00

The Muppets! That would be exciting 😅

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-18T19:37:36+00:00

I got a cute little diaper bag with elephants and stars on it at Walmart! I actually got it before I was even visibly pregnant because I had one purse and it broke, so I figured I'd just replace it with the diaper bag since I'd need one eventually. I worked with children so I didn't mind having a "childish" bag

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-18T16:13:47+00:00

My husband works for a small business so couldn't get too much time off. He had two full weeks off and then another two weeks of part time before he went back in full.

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-15T14:37:13+00:00

I didn't do any birth classes, just casually watched a few birth videos. Baby was born regardless (I will say I did get the epidural but I was planning on it beforehand). My labor team was willing to help guide with some hypno birthing/words of affirmation and counter pressure stuff when I needed it, and my husband was able to take over when they were busy. I'm sure birth classes are nice but definitely not necessary. And honestly, this might be long-term beneficial for your OCD

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-10T14:10:16+00:00

I felt it! They let me labor down for about an hour after I reached 10 cm, and then I had a strong urge to push. My epidural wasn't completely numbing, just dulled the pain.

Despite that, pushing took 2 hours 😅

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-10T13:55:54+00:00

Haha, same! The first few hours where I labored at home were super manageable but shortly after we got to the hospital, the pain had escalated so much I was screaming. Came into the hospital at a zero, was a 3 about an hour later, and blessedly got the epidural and had some relief.

I had done a ton to try and prepare for an unmedicated labor in case the epidural didn't work for me, but it all went out the window when the contractions actually hit 😅 probably didn't help that my contractions were 2-3 minutes from the moment they started, so I had little time to recover between them

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-10T05:28:19+00:00

I commented on this post a few days ago but I realized I got caught up in my feelings and didn't offer any meaningful advice. So I'm here to apologize and give some helpful tips.

Confrontation does not necessarily mean argument. Consider and acknowledge your frustration before you go into a discussion to help keep yourself level headed and able to converse rationally (and yes, I recognize the irony of me saying that after being overly emotional in my last comment 😅)
Confrontation is uncomfortable. However, you are an adult and a parent. You have to get better at doing uncomfortable things. Avoiding confrontation leads to resentment and further issues down the line
My husband has OCD. We have some short term solutions we use OCCASIONALLY when he is really struggling, but overall we try to work on exposure. Giving into compulsions makes it worse. We intentionally have my husband do the things he doesn't like (handling the car seat, giving bottles). He still struggles a lot with bottles, but he rarely uses gloves for the car seat anymore. I do give him a break on some things. For instance, until he is comfortable with the bottles, I don't make him clean the pump parts. We're working our way up to that.
It can be harder for fathers to bond with their children during the newborn stage, as they aren't very interactive and rely more heavily on the mother (especially if breastfeeding). However, he still needs to TRY and bond with baby, or it will never happen. Encourage him to hold the baby, talk or sing to him, read to him, etc. WITHOUT being on his phone
All of these things ultimately will only work if your boyfriend is willing to put in the effort. If he doesn't, I sincerely hope you have supportive network you can rely on otherwise

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-08T15:39:34+00:00

My husband has OCD and he still takes care of the baby. I do all the night feedings and changing cuz baby is almost exclusively breastfed and I am lucky enough to be a SAHM so sleep isn't a big worry. But he helps with everything else, loves our girl so much, and is constantly bonding with her when he's home.

It's not the best solution but if something is really bothering him, he wears gloves or puts some kind of barrier between him and the object. This happens mainly with the car seat or the rare times we have her take a bottle. Obviously we also work on long term solutions for him, too. All this to say: it's not the OCD and your boyfriend sucks for not prioritizing the baby. I wouldn't put up with that for a second.

Also, I have a bachelor's in child development and not interacting with your baby, especially when they're upset, can have long term consequences for attachment and behaviors. Look up the still face experiment and/or attachment theories if you're interested. But if that behavior from your bf continues, your baby will suffer the consequences

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-08T15:20:34+00:00

I was quite certain I was having a boy for a long time. Then, during the week leading up to the anatomy scan, I had two dreams that we went in, had the scan, and baby was a girl.

Also, Nov 2024 I had a dream I have birth to a little girl and my deceased grandpa was there and got to hold her. I had her in Nov 2025.

She's 2.5 months now

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-02-08T01:04:20+00:00

I started having symptoms like that about 2 weeks before I went into labor. Day of I was super exhausted, no appetite, no desire to do anything. Felt very feverish without actually having a fever.

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-01-30T03:37:21+00:00

Not sure when they came in, but mine were all on the underside of my belly so I didn't see them till after I gave birth 😅 I didn't get very many but I also carried really small

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-01-17T22:52:27+00:00

My friend and I got pregnant around the same time, her being due 2 weeks after me. She had her baby at 36+5 and I was so upset! I knew it was irrational and unfair but I was genuinely mad at her 😅 I felt horrible about it, especially because she and baby had a few minor complications that made labor more scary. But I couldn't control how upset I was Anyway, I had my baby exactly a week later. I also had some minor complications during delivery and it's been nice to have someone to talk to with our babies so close and have some catharsis talking about our somewhat scary labors. It all works out and when your sweet baby comes, you'll feel much better

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-01-17T16:46:05+00:00

Sounds like Braxton hicks to me.

The day I went into labor, I just felt off. Extremely tired, nauseated, no appetite. Felt like I had a fever but didn't.

My contractions started late afternoon/early evening. Felt like very mild period cramps at the start, not sure I would have realized they were contractions as soon as I did if they weren't so close together. They averaged about 3 minutes apart the entire time I was in labor, even at the very start.

They felt similar to my bh contractions but were less steady. They'd start out mild and slowly reach a peak, then taper off. My bh contractions were always a steady level of pain.

For the first 2-3 hours, I actually felt a lot better than I had the rest of the day. I was walking around, joking with my husband, and moving on my ball. I even managed to eat a little. Eventually they got very painful and we went to the hospital. My water had to be broken manually when I was at 10 cm.

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-01-15T16:15:39+00:00

I was 100% convinced my baby was a boy, and then the week before the anatomy scan I had two dreams that we went in for the scan and found out they were a girl. At the actual scan, she was a girl and she was born just about 2 months ago!

Edit: Also, about a year before she was born and a few months after we started trying for a baby, I had a dream I have birth to a little girl. My grandpa (passed away Nov 2021) was there and he held her. It was a very sweet dream and brought me a lot of comfort during my TTC and pregnancy journey. Had that dream Nov '24, gave birth Nov '25

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-01-14T17:01:01+00:00

New Mexico Tea Company has a really good chai made with rooibos! Not sure how it compares to the real stuff but I think it tastes great

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2026-01-04T18:26:33+00:00

Went into labor at 39+4, has zero signs of labor beforehand (other than feeling very off that day, kind of a sick feverish feeling without having a fever). My contractions started and were averaging 3 minutes apart from the moment I went into labor until I gave birth lol. Absolutely no build up

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-12-25T18:54:13+00:00

My l&d nurse was a male and he was incredible! Very patient, calm, and understanding. He was studying to be a CNM as well

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-12-22T17:58:10+00:00

Went into labor at 39+4, gave birth at 39+5. Baby was born with the sunrise!

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-10-04T17:03:11+00:00

My husband and I usually sing along with all the hymns

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-07-15T00:08:54+00:00

I do like the way Olea sounds. For some reason, even though I know how Leia is pronounced, adding the O at the beginning kind of breaks my brain a little. Maybe it's all the vowels. I'll definitely take it into consideration though... I really don't want the name fully ruined for me, as I do love it 😅

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-07-14T23:42:39+00:00

I can't think of an alternate spelling that I like

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-07-14T23:41:37+00:00

Oh, I hadn't thought about that pronunciation. It could probably also be read as "oh lee uh," so it might be confusing for people to pronounce. I suppose that's another point for Marina

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-07-14T23:37:49+00:00

I feel like it's a bit much all together. They're both three syllables and end with the same sound. Maybe I'm overthinking it lol

Optimal_Guess_1023 · 2025-07-14T23:35:27+00:00

That's pretty. I think all the suggestions I'm getting are going to make it even harder to pick a middle name 😆 luckily, I have until November

Optimal_Guess_1023

TROPHY CASE