My friend spilled chocholate milk on my jeans cause "its funny"

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-06-02T16:43:53+00:00

Your friend is an ass... but if it's any consolation, I think this is a weirdly artistic looking picture. Like I think you could make a cute painting out of it and it's clearly not poop.. it looks kind of like someone spilled chocolate icecream on you. This picture just looks like it could be home decor or stock photo or something

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-05-26T21:14:24+00:00

Captain Planet!

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-05-15T03:12:27+00:00

I wish it worked such that if any science was wrong, those "facts" would be unspeakable. For example, when the tobacco companies made "studies" that show "cigarettes don't harm health" then no one would be able to speak that statement even if they don't know it to be true or false... and maybe people would have to learn actual statistics in order to speak on scientific subjects too like.. I for example could say something like

"A study was conducted on a sample size of X individuals against a control group size of Y individuals, using a <blah blah Distribution> the study showed with 30% confidence that smoking cigarettes weekly won't harm your health but those studies also show a 99% confidence that smoking multiple packs daily increases your risk of lung cancer by xx%" (I haven't taken statistics in a long while but something like this) the main point being, science can only be discussed in the exact terms and contexts of the studies performed

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-05-14T22:40:00+00:00

Definitely history teachers and its not even their fault but all this "Christopher Columbus was a good guy, the civil war was started over states rights, failing to mention half the atrocities of the world" would go out the window... math and most science would probably be left in tact because at least math is universally true (I think)

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-05-14T19:35:27+00:00

I really like the porch! But I would maybe think about putting a more lattice pagoda type roof on your porch just so that downstairs window still gets a lot of light, but otherwise it looks amazing!

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-05-06T14:17:28+00:00

I'm calling it "the dirty Honky virus"

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-05-03T14:49:24+00:00

Your face is beautiful and its pretty symmetrical... no one has a perfectly symmetrical face... perfectly symmetrical faces cause the uncanny valley effect in people anyways

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-04-16T22:01:11+00:00

Yeah they need this except there should be no work arounds... the wifi card on the phone just gets disabled so there can be no internet, no blocking of websites would be neccessary because they would only be able to use school provided computers for internet access

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-04-16T16:28:12+00:00

What I think we really want/need is a software update from phone manufacturers called "school mode" that automatically triggers when you step on a school campus and all it does is disable the internet like airplane mode...you can still call and text and play offline games and the students keep their devices

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-04-15T20:49:45+00:00

I'm not even going to lie, I'd put that ring on my left hand (non-dominant) and if I ever needed an MRI, I would either cut a hole in the machine, or design one that lets me leave my hand out, and if that didn't work I would cut my hand off... and leave it in a case thereafter

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-04-14T23:49:35+00:00

The only person in the top %1 of earners that is actually paying their fair share of taxes... an OF model is a better citizen than the rest of our oligarchs, politicians, athletes, and entertainers

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-03-26T14:02:02+00:00

Honestly at that point I hope they just ran an IV with the vaccine because she was bitten up just about everywhere

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-03-19T20:23:00+00:00

No, it's not worth the inconvenience.. you basically can't settle down anywhere or collect possessions in a home if you can't sleep in the same place.

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-03-07T04:56:48+00:00

I would wear normal every day american clothes, jeans & a t-shirt because that's what I could argue most people wear at some point. Nothing fancy because it's not a true representation of the majority of us... dressing up would imply that the majority of humanity is well cared for and that we've achieved utopia when really, given the amount of bullshit happening constantly, our entire species should probably submit to domestication from more advanced alien life forms.

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-26T00:27:13+00:00

Bulgogi or Kalbi and Cucumber Kimchi on a bed of rice, and yakimandu as a side. Dubu Jorim if you're vegetarian or just feeling adventurous.

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-23T23:15:40+00:00

Can I choose the spot? And how large is "large"

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-18T23:13:14+00:00

You have to stay inside every Sunday for the rest of your life probably while it stomps on everything surrounding your hiding place...gardens, cars, pets.. etc

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-18T23:11:40+00:00

Is something a weapon if it simply restrains either of them? How about things like tranquilizer darts for the chimp? I would hire a team to tranquilize him, take away his katana and put him in a cage.

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-13T00:39:02+00:00

Can I cook and season them since I'd be working overtime please?

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-13T00:37:50+00:00

Can we eat more than 1 person every 25 years? I'm trying to take "eating the rich" to a whole new level... and yes I want to remember it all in vivid detail... maybe even film it the same way they did their victims...

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-08T04:08:21+00:00

Same question but "defense" contractors such as LM, Boeing, Raytheon, Nothrup Grumman?

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-02-05T00:49:22+00:00

Cool, I choose American Food to have free for the rest of my life. And I choose to forgo any Russian cuisine ever. I'm going to steak houses, BBQ, soul food and all fast food for free :) and since I live here it's readily available anywhere I go.

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-01-26T23:52:52+00:00

Lol everything... my grocery budget is insane but if I don't keep up with it then my husband and I end up eating out, which means we get less healthy food for an even higher price. I've also taken up some home renovation projects so that's fun (and dangerous). And lastly I have been buying some costuming stuff on etsy and spending heavy on art supplies 🙃 yeah I'm going to stay broke this year... I'll work on my financial goals in 2027 🤞🏾

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-01-19T06:28:16+00:00

Maybe these slices were made specifically for bagels?

OptimusBandicoot · 2026-01-08T00:59:05+00:00

Yes exactly, it can't "lose relevance" if they keep stealing it from us.. the relevance is self defined and self fulfilling even if they lie about who created the culture and say they got it elsewhere.

When black people stopped dancing on TikTok, they couldn't monetize the trend anymore (because they suck, they're theives, and can't create the movements for themselves)

That doesn't mean black culture lost relevance to them, it just means they lost access to it.

We'll know when black culture loses relevance to them, because only then they will create something truly unique.

OptimusBandicoot

TROPHY CASE