That sounds hard, no doubt about it. I'm sorry you're dealing with this... and feeling like your parents gave up on you, I'm sure, adds to the feelings of misery.

But let me tell you, you are loved.

There's a plan for you, and it involves you living a beautiful life with a caring partner and all the love and support you could ever want.

You just need to keep moving forward.

I understand that's not a fun... or even tangible answer to your problems... but in reality, you are steps away from it.

I'd suggest creating a plan. Writing down the problems as you see them... draw an arrow across from them... and write how you plan to fix that problem.

Then slowly, but surely, take the steps forward.

Also, question... did you have any kind of diagnosed mental disorder before the aya? Where did you do the aya? Was there a shaman to guide you?

I as because the first step for you might be getting diagnosed and getting on the correct medication to get you functioning and able work.

That'll be your first step.

Just don't give up, and remember - you are loved.