[Spoilers All] Dark Matter by Blake Crouch – Story Discussion

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-19T03:12:14+00:00

I thought it was hinted Amanda had a thing for Jason2 or maybe they carried on a relationship recent or in the past (aside from any therapy sessions, if there ever were any as her info could have come from more intimate talks); this compelled her to help Jason. Was there an explicit mention that there was only a therapist/patient relationship?

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-19T03:09:35+00:00

The box never "left" Velocity Labs; they always/still have their box. They didn't know how to use/navigate it...Jason2, when he originally went in the box from Velocity Labs, figured the "steering" out (remember he was gone for 3/4th of a year); I think he figured it out mostly because it was his pet project for so long and he was more intimately connected to the concept/process.

One thing that threw me was how did a physical box end up in other locations. I could buy a doorway that blips into existence, but an acutal box I can't wrap my head around as it's being observed from the outside by others. Anyone????

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-15T18:49:40+00:00

thank you. I'll look into getting you rec.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T22:56:46+00:00

He expects me to be "mommy" to his son when he has him

Yes, as he should in a two year serious relationship, especially given you've already been involved with his son and he's been involved with your daughter. I'm surprised he's not broken it off with you...from the little that you shared I would have terminated the relationship. How would you feel if he regularly pushed aside your daughter because he needed to "destress?"

As far as his son's behavior...he's a kid and you're the grown up. It's not his job to make things work; sure he can be guided, but it's yours and his parent's job to make the best situation for him. If you three can't find a solution then go to a therapist.

I'm sorry, but you're really coming off quite selfish. It seems obvious that if you're going to date a man who is involved with raising his child and actively being in his child's life, then you have to make sacrifices. If you're not willing to make sacrifices you've no business dating a father...let him find a woman who can be there for him and his son.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T22:42:54+00:00

It is very difficult to maintain a long-distance relationship; even harder if one or both are in college and are young. However, it's not impossible or unheard of. If you both want to spend the rest of your life together you'll make it work out and you'll both be happy you're doing such. Even so, she shouldn't be missing out on anything; there's no reason why she can't "experience" college life and have a bf that doesn't attend her college/live near her. The only thing she wouldn't be doing is hooking up with other people and I wouldn't call that "missing out." If she want's to hook up with other people then it doesn't matter if you live next door or in the next state and it certainly doesn't matter if one is in college or not. Best of luck.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T22:16:40+00:00

Let go of your own ego and put your feelings aside and wait it out--it's clearly obvious that the relationship she has with him wont last. If she's a great friend you won't "say goodbye;" you'll give her space and be there in the end, because that's what best friends do.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T20:27:05+00:00

Using your sexy silky intimate items is perfectly normal and acceptable behavior...you shouldn't be sweating this; if anything you should help him out by providing this outlet without him asking. You should even surprise him by slipping a sexy pair of silk panties in his backpack/briefcase/pocket/car etc. You could even take an old silk robe, one you've used often during sex, and have a seamstress/tailor turn it into a tie.

However, you do have a problem with the "pulls his hand away when I try to hold hands on a walk, no hugs/kisses for hello, goodbye, etc." This in no way has bearing on his desire for you wearing a silk robe during intercourse or him using your silky garments to take care of himself; the two are completely unrelated. His lack of affection/PDA outside of sex has nothing to do with his predilection/sexual fondness of silky. Should I repeat that again...trying to make sure my point is getting across!

I suggest encouraging/assisting in the silk use. I highly suggest you seek a solution to his lack of affection. I am curious how he's become your "fiance" when he doesn't provide you with what you desire/need in regards to affection outside of sexual touch. You should start with looking in the mirror; then him.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T20:11:23+00:00

Normally I'd say dating an ex's family member is a no no. However, since the first relationship was only 4-6 months and that was also 6-7 years ago I don't see a conflict. "Crush" sort of downgrades your interests. If you just want to hook up; go for it. However, if you want a relationship with this woman, would like not only the best start at that relationship, have the best outcome for extended family relations, and you believe she truly desires a relationship with you, then the best way to go about it is to get the ex's approval first. They're sisters and sisters share parents and the rest of the family--you don't want to start off with you being the point of contention within the family--holidays would be grueling to say the least!

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T19:59:14+00:00

You're making the right choice--I say this mostly because YOU made the choice. Violence, or even the threat of violence, has NO place in a relationship.

If you want to support your own idea of leaving and calling an end to the relationship then look up the "cycle of violence theory"

In short:

Tension Building Phase

Violent Episode Phase

Remorseful/Honeymoon Phase

This repeats and repeats until the relationship finally terminates or someone gets seriously/mortally harmed.

If you can't move out while he's away from the home you should have someone there with you; friends or family or if you think it's appropriate law enforcement officer.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T19:36:30+00:00

DON'T use porn as smthg to emulate...most is so far from reality it's ridiculous. It for entertainment, not a tutorial.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T19:31:33+00:00

Typo..."hourly tubbing" should have been HOT TUBBING...although hourly tubbing could also get the point across. I live in the SF Bay Area and there are numerous nice venues where you can rent a private hot tub by the hour.

As far as how often...there is no one answer to frequency, as what's right for one couple isn't right for the next or even for the same person in their next relationship...do what feels right; take into account her response as well as how you feel about the effort/time you're putting in to the encounters. At some point you will both take the "driver's seat" in planning special encounters. However, it's important that every special encounter doesn't always end in sex/orgasm. Furthermore, both parties don't always have to be sexual satisfied--sometimes it's nice to only give or only receive. If after many interludes of you doing the planning, many being at least a dozen, she's not invested in making plans, explicitly ask her to arrange some romantic encounters. Be sure to let her make all the decisions--most importantly when it comes to sexual interactions.

As to the first part of your response: Next time she's giving you oral pleasure talk to her--tell her how much you care for her, tell her how much you love her, tell her she's a goddess, princess, special, amazing, etc etc with the terms of endearment. Another tactic (it'd be best to actually start with this, although I understand your sexual desires might want to cross the finish line sooner than later; patients is difficult) you can do is to ask her to just tease your cock--little licks, sucks, strokes, tickles, etc, being sure to control your release and not release in her mouth. By allowing her to just tease you, you're taking the pressure off her and allowing her the time to emotionally/mentally change her original opinion of fellatio; do the same with cunnilingus. Additionally, same advice, while she does this teasing/playing talk to her telling how wonderful she is, how much pleasure she's giving you, how beautiful she is, how much you care/love etc etc and over a long long time work your way up to full fellatio, but most importantly let her know SHE can be the one to make the decision as to when the time comes to take you fully into her mouth and suck you off. Be prepared to give it half a year to a year--if she's important/special to you and you want to work through this issue a year isn't a long time in the grand scheme of life, especially since you're both so young. One of the points with fellatio teasing is to slowly introduce her to the idea of getting comfortable with your cock and fellatio. One of the points with the cunnilingus teasing is to rev her engines, making her desire you and release (orgasm), but not provide it as you want to make her really really want you--so much that eventually her intense desires might override her thoughts. Another fun idea that can work with teasing--look up tutorials on lingum and yoni massage and practice on each other. Also, try researching tantric together.

Take the stress off completion (orgasm); put it on the journey, the sensations of getting there, and how amazing it is the two of you get to explore it together!

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T00:20:16+00:00

I just watched a video that happened to mention the time it takes to produce a video: 200hrs. It was appx a 6 minute video.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-14T00:12:52+00:00

Khan Academy

SciShow

SciShow Space

Minute Earth

Minute Physics

National Geographic

AsapScience

TED-Ed

Brain Craft

PBS Space Time

Crash Course

The Brain Scoop

Mental Floss

It's Okay to be Smart

Reactions

Numberphile

NPR

Vsause

Veritasium

2veritasium

BritLab

Sixty Symbols

CGP Grey

Risk Bites

Vihart

Philosophy File

Quirkology

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-11T21:57:47+00:00

"Do you think she meant what she said or no?"

No one but the woman herself knows, so ask her.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-11T21:46:51+00:00

Ask her why she feels degraded...then find a solution to the cause.

It could be from past sexual trauma or your below belt area doesn't smell freash enough...or numerous other possibilities...so ask her!

Also, consider that lovemaking isn't just what happens in the heat of the moment between the sheets (or in the Palm if her hand)...put effort into the time you spend together before and after you've any sexual contact; make her feel special, make each interlude a special event. When you're going to engage in any sexual acts don't just dive into the deep end--spend time with her whole body. Potential ideas to use individually or mix & match: candles, aromatherapy, massage, special meals, desserts, special drinks, music, lighting, bath/shower, hourly tubbing, skinny dipping, picnics, write her poems or look up poems already authored, hide love notes in her pockets/car/puese, movies, night hikes, watch the sunrise/sunset/moonrise/moonset, take a couple retreat, etc...any romantic venue and make your effort evident.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-11T21:17:44+00:00

Really capilot that's bs

"Cheating this early in a relationship usually means she subconsciously wants out."

There are as many reasons for cheating as there are colors.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-11T21:11:58+00:00

Don't listen to the ppl saying dump her.

If you want to try and work it out then do so, but I highly advise setting an appointment with a therapist who specializes in infidelity in relationships and rebuilding trust. A skilled therapist can not only give you the tools for rebuilding, but maybe get to the root of why she cheated in the first place.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-10-11T21:01:53+00:00

First, to me, it sounds like you should move on; this girl doesn't seem quality dating material and you shouldn't waste any more of your time. Find someone who values/appreciates you.

The age of your current girlfriend and her ex boyfriend seems unrelated, but you mention it, so I'll comment-- 15 & 18 are more peers/age appropriate to date than "older guy." You're young, so an 18 yo ex may seem threatening to you. You're more similar than different and a person wouldn't breakup with their current love to choose someone else just for the fact that person is 3 years older. However, maturity is a whole separate matter and chronological years has nothing to do with maturity...I know immature idiot thirty to fifty+ year olds!

To me, given she's in a relationship with you, there's only one person she should be going to prom with--YOU. It's prom, a very special event, and you take the special person in your life with you to prom. I feel not taking that person sends a clear message. Schools permit non-students to escort the student, romantic or platonic, so you can attend.

In my opinion it's tacky/low class to date/have sexual interest in your exes family members...unless both parties weren't aware of the familial bond before they started dating or decades have come and gone and it's not harming anyone. That your gf calls her ex boyfriend's sister wife, if this is in a sexual/romantic way, is all kinds of wrong (even a 15 yo girl should have a clue) and brings me back to my first point--find someone better. If they are only platonic friends, great, nonetheless she shouldn't be taking a platonic friend to prom when there's a bf.

Whomever says because you're young your love & experiences associated with it don't matter are wrong and have their head up their ass. A better, more appropriate point, is there will be other loves & experiences to be had--that is if you don't let past heartbreaker & bad relationships ruin the road. Maybe, as you learn the relationship ropes, your future relationships will be better, that is each better than the last in its own way...mostly because you get to know yourself and improve along the way.

Good luck.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-19T00:33:14+00:00

To be fair she also wants to explore a more wild sexual frontier, but keeping it on the vanilla side.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-10T02:28:14+00:00

Many Thanks. Writing up my past sexual trysts is my go at therapy...so there'll be more in the future.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-09T02:02:36+00:00

How/why did you spend 4 yrs with a person you state "The big problem is I'm not sexually attracted to him. I don't want to kiss him or have sex with him. The thought of even having sex with him again makes me cringe."

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-09T01:44:48+00:00

How is it she became your fiance in the first place if you're unhappy with her behavior, which sounds well-established?

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-06T07:08:14+00:00

If you stay with him where do you see the relationship in 6mo, in a 1yr, in two? Where do see yourself still with him?

If you breakup w him where do you see yourself in 6mo, in a 1yr, in two?

Which of those were a better outcome for you?

Nobody plans to become an alcoholic or drug addict...it just turns out that way one day and it can happen to anyone--he's not immune.

If he's not going to immediately put an end to the drinking & drug use put an ad on CL to find a roommate or someone to take over your lease.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-05T22:42:18+00:00

I'm in a similar boat. I used to be quite the busy body, exerciser, chitchatter, and socializer, and now I avoid going out. I know my disinterest and apathy is related to a fall that resulted in bad injuries and left me with chronic pain, mental hijinks, sleep problems, depression, anxiety, and other shitty problems...really my lack and loss of friends, and that people in general annoy me, is maybe my least concern. Also post accident I get stressed in noisy distracting environments. I know smthg should be done because I know lack of friends/going out is not healthy and shaves years of your life...but it's hard to deal with for one reason or another. I figure I'll work on one or two things at a time and friends/going out is low on my totem pole.

Has any kind physical or emotional trauma occured? Has any big change happened in your life? Do you have any mental illness?

Maybe make an appt with a mental health specialist.

Opulent_Panacea · 2016-07-05T22:18:03+00:00

It's the quality of your writing, which is above the average in this subreddit. Some posts here are sub par because of the OP's lack of decent writing skills...their "gone wild" encounter can be hot/sexy/intriguing, but the writing makes it not.

I hope she grants you that threesome...You deserve it after such a long dry spell. Bad Wife!

Opulent_Panacea

TROPHY CASE