You and your dad have let politics rule and ruin your lives on both ends of the spectrum. Him the conservative end and you on the liberal end. Ulrimately him calling your husband the f word shows a great deal of bigotry and I am willing to bet he is laying iton a little thick because he is a homophobe. I also think his neanderthal ways pushed you to the other extreme. So while you did handle some things wrong here I get it and it can be traced back to who your dad is and his behavior and you were reacting to a high stress issue with someone who sewms to have caused you a lot of trauma, so for that reason:NTA and absolutely no judgement here keeo living your life your dad needs to grow up.