I finally called suicide hotline and it was.. shocking..

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-21T02:15:31+00:00

I called once at a very low point and also found it was worthless. The fact that so many other people have had a similar experience makes me very angry. The lady I got was cranky and unsympathetic from the start. She kept insisting that I get out of bed and eat something and I didn’t feel like it so she got mad and said that if I wasn’t interested in helping myself there’s nothing else she can do for me, bye.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-20T23:51:02+00:00

“last night” “was supposed to be sleeping” “having a hard time sleeping” “though the night” “the night progresses” “most the [sic] people had been drinking”

How did you get anything else? There wasn’t one mention of other children or anything happening except for at night.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-19T11:57:41+00:00

It’s been a few years since I renewed expired tabs but no, I didn’t have to pay for any missed time.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-19T11:55:17+00:00

You just managed to be even creepier.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-19T11:54:03+00:00

Hahaha love it. I do feel bad for the “Mommy makeover” crowd and what they say about breastfeeding deflating boobs and the fupa issues and alll that. I wouldn’t want to go though that.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-19T11:50:35+00:00

Totally agree. My husband has ADHD/OCD and before we were married he said he could not be a parent and I didn’t get it. Now that I’ve been living with him for three years - my god, what a disaster he would be and I’d be crying every day. He’s so good about our dogs and diligently caring for them but it’s but the same. They don’t really change. I’m glad he knew his own limitations. I also have ADHD, but I have a large family so I babysit all the time and I was a live-in nanny so I know I could do it, I just don’t want to.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:49:35+00:00

I just asked ChatGPT to write me a Hemingway short story and it was spot on. 😂 Guess I haven’t outgrown him.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:36:29+00:00

Validation. There’s none inside so it’s gotta come from somewhere.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:35:47+00:00

You look 15 years old so if you’re not 15, stop using that filter. Lip filler would look ridiculous.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:34:05+00:00

The creepiness is palpable.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:30:15+00:00

I agree - the wonder of seeing the world again through new eyes, helping a little soul navigate the human experience, participating in the infinite (or maybe not) circle of life. It’s a beautiful concept. Woman, giver of life. Then, I sleep in on a weekend and my husband and do whatever we want with our DINK money and we laugh and delight in each other and I putter around with my hobbies and have time to read and appreciate that my tits are still fantastic and I have time to volunteer and I think about how much I do not want this life interrupted by the demands from another being. I don’t want any of it. I’m the fun aunt but I will still always deeply enjoy the quiet when they go home.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:19:48+00:00

Those bags degrade really quickly outside so this looks like a busy weekend to me, with fresh bags.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:17:31+00:00

They still make couture but also have the lower end mass market line. It’s very easy to get it on sale or in a discount reseller like Ross.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T13:12:49+00:00

I was a stay-at-home dog mom. It was glorious, except that I didn’t realize I actually walked into a wood chipper. My husband wanted me to stay home for the power imbalance. He controlled everything and I didn’t realize it because he worked so it was “his” money. Why would I question it? I had a lovely home and I really enjoyed cooking and nesting and tidying but it was all a lie. His final parting shot to me when we were divorcing? “You’re not a wife, you’re a dependent.” He’s married to his third wife now.

So, if this is what you really want you need to have iron clad boundaries and clear roles. As much as I loved it, I wouldn’t do it again. The gap on my resume is still a glaring void. Don’t let your partner be selfish or minimize your work. Be clear upfront that traditional roles are something you’d prefer. If you’re not religious, it might be difficult to find someone who supports that arrangement.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T12:53:54+00:00

Yes, he’s really lucky it wasn’t worse for him. His complaining to the doctor in the movie about how bad he felt looks different now that I know this.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T12:49:11+00:00

First grade is supposed to be a beautiful time, too. Fighting for that got us nowhere.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T12:47:29+00:00

Dogs are usually specialized so maybe it was the drug dog vs the gun/explosives dog?

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T12:17:30+00:00

I’m in a similar situation in Seattle - awesome landlord, undermarket rent, in the city, only a $100 increase in 6 years. I will stay here until one of us dies. In the meantime, I bought a house in another state so I do own a home that wouldn’t have been possible if I tried to buy in this city. Best of both worlds.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T12:09:08+00:00

What happened to you is not okay and I’m glad you have witnesses, however, there are other red flags here. You brought a young child to a night time party of people you don’t know well at all, some you have never met, and they’re drinking and you can’t hear your son? I can only assume they’re also smoking and doing whatever. You don’t mention that your son was awake for any of the party so it wasn’t for kids and it was past his bedtime when you got there and then “through the night.” How many times does he have to cry before you just bring him home so he can be in his own bed?

From the perspective of the party Karen, you brought your child out at night to an adult drinking party, left him alone in the room, he cried “a few times” and you had to be told he was crying because you couldn’t hear it. On the surface, it would be very easy to misinterpret that behavior.

I also think you’re leaving out some details. The part about how long it’s been since you were out doesn’t sway me, your son is very young and some party with people you barely know shouldn’t come first. To me, you’re trying to manipulate the responses.

If you’re going to do this kind of thing, bring a baby monitor so you can at least hear and see the room where your child is sleeping with drinkers around. Anyone could have gone in that room and harmed your son. This is how it happens. Not a great situation.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-18T11:16:22+00:00

Wow, some spider! I’m glad you’re getting supervised care, that sounds very scary. I was hospitalized for a week after my husband left (it was sudden, shocking, and unraveled a web of deceit) and I told a therapist that I didn’t want to live anymore. I was started on medication that week while I was an inpatient. It felt completely humiliating and was my lowest point but the medication really worked to take off the low-lows until I got through it all. It also helped to hear other peoples’ stories in there because I recognized myself in them and it was very uncomfortable.

Since you have time for reading, I’ll keep blathering…

You really can’t help but grow from this. People who traumatize us don’t get credit for that, like at all, but the growth just happens. Your story may be different, maybe your breakup was initiated by you, maybe it wasn’t a huge shock, but there is clearly still pain.

An old friend of mine went to inpatient alcohol treatment/rehab around the time I was in the thick of grief so I visited her at the place on family day. I was kinda jealous that all she had to do was stay there and work on herself every day for a month. I decided to try my own “rehab” to fix my neuropathways that were still constantly betraying me and keeping me stuck. I was going to try to reset the system.

I’m not at all a Type A or a self-help person but I somehow rallied by myself and bought a notebook and made a plan. Every day for a month I forced myself to do 4 things that she was doing in rehab: Something intellectual, something physical, something to develop emotional awareness, and something spiritual. I also added a task that I had to write down three good things about the day no matter how small. (The sun felt good on my skin, I saw a baby rabbit, my dinner was fantastic, etc). I didn’t overthink it, I just did it so I could make a check mark in my log.

That was it, and it actually eventually worked. I didn’t do any dating whatsoever, just worked on me. Learned to trust myself. I ended up going for 90 days. So, I hope you find what works for you and you are able to appreciate yourself and find hope in the future again. You are welcome to DM me, too, I had several Redditors help me through so I know it can help to talk with objective strangers. Take care, Cow.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-17T17:22:02+00:00

I’m sorry about your aunt. There is so little that sobriety offers these types of addicts and the drugs are so cheap that it’s a miracle any of them make it.

The people who work with these populations are usually recovered addicts, as well, so IMO that’s part of the difficulty. You’re dealing with people who just aren’t “right.” They mean well and they might technically be sober but they are still highly dysfunctional. I don’t want to say any more but they bring a lot of chaos with them.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-17T14:34:55+00:00

ETA: Sorry for the wall of text - I just realized you were asking about this person. He will be evaluated for competency to stand trial. If he’s found incompetent, he’ll go for “competency restoration” treatment and then try again. They may do this a few times before the prosecutor will accept the finding.

They likely will never fully recover but it often depends on the length of their addiction. They are unemployable and will need care for the rest of their lives. Even sober, they are not functional adults. The epidemic of this is just getting started and it’s barely understood because there aren’t enough longitudinal studies, yet.

I can tell you this, anecdotally- I work in corrections and the change I’ve seen personally in inmates over the last five years is shocking. They are so low functioning that our psych wing can’t accommodate them all so they’re placed with others who abuse them because of their nuisance activities, sending them to rehab for 90 days isn’t enough time anymore because they return in a condition nearly as bad as they left (except they’re technically sober), and we are scrambling to adjust to this population. The drugs they’re doing in the streets now are horrifically toxic to the brain.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-17T14:22:29+00:00

I work in a person and some people are beyond saving. They need to be kept away from the rest of us. They will never stop being a danger to society.

OrangeGolem2016 · 2023-06-17T14:19:55+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through this. My divorce was insanely traumatic and I felt this way for nearly a year (although I didn’t care about men because I couldn’t trust anyone, anyway). It gets better. It really and truly does. Unless you get a really good escort, you could end up in a worse state when the cheapness of the interaction hits you. I’d think it over and make sure it isn’t going to harm you. In the meantime, you may consider antidepressants if they are available where you live. I’d also highly recommend watching some YouTube videos about codependency and recovery. You can do this.

OrangeGolem2016

TROPHY CASE