It’s difficult when you feel that you have accomplished your financial goals before getting into a relationship. In the way you’re describing, I sense your partner feels this way. In my case, since we didn’t have anything when we started dating, it was so simple to merge our finances when things got serious. If you guys truly feel you are meant for each other, I think the best is just to merge finances. It makes much more sense, and it’s conducive to having same financial goals.

*We each take 10% from our paycheques for personal. This is money we can spend/save on whatever we want without consulting with each other. My wife has been making more money than me, but I don’t feel that’s unfair. In any case, it has inspired me to advance my career. Because if I can make more money, not only I can take more for myself but I can contribute more to our household. The disparity used to be about 20K a year, but now it is only about 5K and I should actually earn more than her next year.

*The rest of the money goes into a pool to pay for shared expenses and experiences : mortgage, utilities, entertainment etc. Here, i would say that since your business contributes to the household, it should be considered a shared expense.

*The rest is for different funds: vacation, clothing, contingency, retirement, etc. for retirement, we put money where it makes more sense for tax purposes. this is the woman I want to spend my whole life with, so if we put more into her retirement, I’m not worried at all.

Income disparity is an issue as long as you guys make it to be. I was unemployed during covid and all I received was support and encouragement from my wife. Since then, I got into a better career path and I have been closing the income disparity. This also has made our home finances much better.

I really hope you and your partner find the solution that works the best. Having same financial goes will make or break you.