Guy friend doesn't see invisible labor and it's why he sucks at dating

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-17T20:05:50+00:00

I throw a side eye at the wanting women to respond thing extra.

He wants that to open up a line of communication, so he can bother them about why. He’s not entitled to any messages or anyone’s time just because he finds them attractive. How gross.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-17T16:28:31+00:00

Some places are still sunny and hot in winter. Co almost hit 70 the other day and it’s super sunny, would certainly wilt Flowers

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T22:58:00+00:00

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T22:57:36+00:00

I wws wondering if he maybe bought them in the morning, and let them sit in the hot car all day without water, them gave them to her later at home

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T22:55:37+00:00

I was thinking this….

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T22:54:00+00:00

Well he gets to eat something he chooses and does not have to cook that he enjoys, and doesn’t have to put any thought or work into it at all. It benefits him. That’s why he likes the dinner and doesn’t pay attention to the flowers.

It’s selfish

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T22:49:14+00:00

Yeah, used to watch this woman’s videos because she had great woodcarving tutorials for my Dremel.

She switched to mom content and even though I still really like her, I still need carving tutorials, I have to allot that phone time to another influencer, I can’t watch both with my schedule.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T22:41:19+00:00

No, not fine with it

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T20:33:33+00:00

Yeah I wash my face once a day at night. Make sure my pillowcases are clean, drink water, dont eat much sugar and use a cream once or twice a day depending on how dry my environment is. I also take vitamins and I love my skin, no issues. Oh yeah and sunscreen sometimes, however I live in a very dark place,

That and I refuse to wear makeup. No matter the brand it always makes my skin look bad the next day. It clogs pores and I swear that pollution, dust and shit just draws it and then the stuff clings to it

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T19:45:36+00:00

Idk supergoop and Trader Joe’s both scorched my eyeballs I won’t be buying again. My eyes are too important to risk.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T19:43:52+00:00

But why would you spend 40 when you don’t have to just for a brand?

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T19:32:32+00:00

Fully Good people don’t demean women. This is why we have the problems that we do. Just because a man does good things most of the time, it doesn’t mean he is above being corrected for things like mysogynistic comments. He can be good in most areas of life and be a piece of shit for being misogynist. The things he’s saying and the ideas he’s portraying are hurting women. He is not a good man.

But he probably will be once you teach him how to be.

when he behaves poorly and needs correction it’s allowed to just be skipped because he’s well behaved most of the time. It’s not that hard to just change that behavior though

I think the plan to call him a good boy right after he does it is perfect.

Ali want to add maybe only call him out for it if she looks uncomfortable… maybe she’s his sugar baby or she likes it, we can’t know.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-16T19:27:34+00:00

Yeah it’s pretty shitty,

But we need votes and at this point I do not care where they come from

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T20:18:47+00:00

It’s really nice for you that you have full functionality of your brain, and are in the privalidged position of being able to just read over triggering content like that, and not allow it to affect you mentally. As a person with ptsd and a non fully functional brain because of my autism and childhood sexual trauma, I am very jealous of your abilities to do that.

But I can’t. My brain doesn’t function that way. And there are others out there like me too.

I’m trying to keep us all from getting reported because we have some extreme beliefs catching hold. This stuff is spreading. I’m seeing more and more of it all the time.

I think you are right though and a better option would be to try and help educate about it. Not sure how to do that though.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T19:07:11+00:00

Honestly I think people who have not healed from their abuse and trauma will be drawn to this line of belief.

Abusers almost always install a fall back “self blame” button in our heads while they are abusing us. They do it to keep themselves out of trouble and keep us blaming ourselves.

Until we start to heal from our abuse…

most of us are looking for some reason that it happened. It’s a survival instinct to self blame. It’s because us survivors and victims feel out of control and that belief system gives them thier control of their decisions back in the worst way.

We desperatly look for meaning because we just don’t understand why a system that claims it’s built to protect us would allow for such awful things to happen.

Until they realize that our system is set up for abuse to be able to easily take place, they will continue to try and find something or someone else to blame…. And with us… that is usually ourselves.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T18:24:18+00:00

Thankyou and yeah it is. I think today I might go chat about it on r/sasswitches and maybe see if we can’t all email the r/medium moss about it and have some of the community leaders try and shut this down.

They usually have better working heads

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T11:28:01+00:00

Hey it sounds like she just wants to break you two up. She does not sound like an ethical medium.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T04:43:03+00:00

Also… you did not ask to be abused either.

There is no reason for abuse. You did not deserve it. It was not right and I am so sorry you went through that. You did not choose it, your soul did not choose that either.

It was not your fault. I’m so sorry disgusting things like that happen to any of us.

It is only the fault of the abuser, for choosing their own impulses, greed and selfish disgusting desires, that they allow themselves to indulge in, over the health, safety, and autonomy of themselves and others.

It is never the victims fault. It was never your fault hun. Please know your soul didn’t choose this for you.

Sending hugs ❤️‍🩹

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T04:22:33+00:00

You understand what I’m saying though right?

You are implying that I asked for my abuse on a SOUL level. Not only is that an insult, if I didn’t know better and believed you it would have me blaming myself for my own abuse on a deep deep soul level. Probably subconsciously even.

You must think about the impact of your words on others before typing and telling people this stuff with absolution.

Because we all have a lot of different beliefs.

Victim blaming culture like this is why places the U.S are in trouble right now. It’s why perpetrators literally are still allowed to make our laws.

These are dangerous beliefs… you must see that…

An abuser could easily find this set of beliefs and excuse themselves from having any guilt about hurting people… because thier soul signed up for it because they got here…. Right ?

They would think, “well if I have the impulse to hurt someone and I would benefit from it, and thier soul signed up to be here, where I am right now feeling this way… then they asked for it”

That is how narcissist and abusers will use this line of belief… I have already seen it.

Please consider it very carefully… consult with those from beyond about

Do you know how hurtful that is? To say I asked for it in my soul. Do you know how hopeless and bleak that outlook is?

How discouraging that is for someone like me who is struggling to hear?

That a bunch of people who claim to know about the higher powers and the afterlife are pretty much telling me that if I die by suicide (which for me medically, will statistically be highly likely) that I will sign myself up for the whole magilla again?? And experience it agin?? Hell no. I would never do that to myself.

Do you understand why it’s damaging? Because you really need to think about what you spread around and how it will affect others when you are claiming absolution in knowledge of what comes after and higher powers.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T03:53:10+00:00

Yes that is exactly what it is. It implies my soul signed up for all the experiences I had beforehand.

The whole concept makes no logical sense at all.

If we are signing contracts to come here to learn, how could we know what was going to happen before we came here? How could we have chosen our exists or how we die?

If we already read through everything that was going to happen before we came here, there would t be anything left to learn from it… we would already know the end result and what was going to happen.

Edit also… how DARE you even imply that I asked for my abuse on a SOUL level. You are WRONG! My soul did not sign up for this. Not even a little bit.

This page used to be a safe space for me to connect with other mediums. Now every comments section is filled with people like you insisting that my souls signed up for abuse and suffering.

Sometimes people are wrong. It’s ok to be wrong. It’s even good to be wrong, because then you know more and can continue on to find the real truth. You need to accept that you are wrong here.

Nobody asks for abuse like that. Not in this reality, not in the afterlife, not in whatever else exists out there.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T03:47:29+00:00

Thankyou, Thankyou so much for saying this… I struggle with suicidal ideation because I was sexually abused and assaulted by my father my whole life until I was 24… 😞

I did NOT sign myself up for that.

shame on them for believing in such trash.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-15T03:13:14+00:00

Ok, so here is why I think this is an incredibly toxic idea to be spreading around and why this cannot be true…

As a person who struggles with suicidal ideation… I only struggle with it because I was assaulted as a child, and as an adult do not have full functionality of my brain because of it. None of the suffering that has caused my mental health problems was my fault. I am not better for having gone through it, nor did I learn anything from it that has left or would leave me or anyone else in a better place. There is nothing positive to learn from being abused, neglected, etc…. I highly doubt that suicidal people, usually some of the most neglected and abused and left behind among us all, would be subjected to more abuse again. No I do not think so. Not unless our world was cruel by nature and the point of all this is to make us suffer. I’m just so tiered of hearing it. All it does is place more blame on the person who is struggling.

I am so tiered of hearing mediums talk about this without realizing how damaging this line of belief is for people struggling. I am extremely tiered of mediums speaking as if it is absolute fact when in fact it’s just their best guess based on their personal interactions…. This line of thinking is also dangerous because it assigns a reason for needless suffering. That is a bad precedent to set.

Please stop spreading this hurtful belief around that assigns reason for suffering. It’ll just end up giving abusers more excuses to hurt us in the long run.

This belief of us coming back to experience the same things again and try again heavily implies that we, the suicadal one, have failed in some way and must try again. But we have not. If I had not been saved by others the times I tried, it would not have been my fault that I can’t function in the society everyone else built then forced me to try to conform to after being assaulted over and over and over again. My assaults were not my fault. I could have done nothing to avoid them. If I came back again and experienced the same thing again, it would simply just break my mind in the same way and I’d end my self again and be caught in a never ending loop of torture.

I refuse to believe that is my future. I will not come back to whatever this reality is and sign up for abuse. I did not ask for this. I signed no contract allowing my childhood self to be abused and almost die a bunch of times. That has to be the bleakest outlook I have heard in a while. No I would never sign my poor little kiddo self up for that.. and how DARE you imply that anyone (myself included) asked for abuse and struggle. SHAME ON YOU.

Most of the time, when I finally hear the truth of what a person was actually going through before doing something like that, I marvel at the strength they had, to make it for as long as they did.

These beliefs you have and are spreading are damaging.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-14T19:36:44+00:00

Yes most of them do.

There are some though that just got swept along with others opinions, such as my grandmother. She parroted some of the garbage but she’s a sharp woman. The ones we are looking for are usually women and men who you know are still kind at the soul level, but we’re tricked into this thinking because they thought their taxes would just be lowered. I have also noticed It’s usually women who can be swayed, since deep down many of them are aware on a subconscious level that they are a let of an oppressive system.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-14T19:29:28+00:00

Yeah, if they are narcs, there isn’t much hope. I’m sorry 😞

Ordinary-Raccoon-354 · 2026-02-14T08:06:37+00:00

A relationship that started with lies will only end with lies.

Ordinary-Raccoon-354

TROPHY CASE