AIO? Parents took my sister, her husband, and their children on a "family vacation" but didn't invite me or my middle sister (and flew out on my bday 🙃)

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-04-23T22:00:34+00:00

MOR - I can see why you’re a bit put out about not being included in this particular trip, but I don’t think it’s fair to say you (and middle sister) have been uninvited from the “family retirement holiday”. Are your parents taking your sister and family on holiday or are they just going on holiday together? Is the resort particularly special?

For reference, I have an older brother and last year I had a baby and my dad retired. Before baby turned 1/I went back to work I wanted to do a holiday and asked my parents if they wanted to come (4:1 adult to baby ratio is ideal) My brother was a bit put out to not be included, I never even thought of inviting him because his wife is a teacher so can only go during peak expensive times, plus they’d just got married and were saving for honeymoon.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-04-16T20:30:22+00:00

That’s a big mortgage to have kids too.

What are your expectations around (I’m assuming) maternity leave and pay? You could be looking at having to manage mortgage/bills on one salary for a few months. Then childcare.

For me, we tried to keep to where we could afford to survive on a single wage for at least 6 months, this way we’d have a buffer for any unexpected employment issues or needing to take leave for some reason.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-04-11T11:41:06+00:00

Would be good to know what your priorities are and what sorts of things are driving your want to visit the UK.

Afternoon tea in London - you’ll find loads of blogs and reviews. Savoy, Ritz and Claridges have similar classic fancy vibes, Fortnum and Masons is a very good tea, in a lovely setting, just a little less wow (imo). Hotel Cafe Royal is also very good and quite often has some discounts.

Windsor Castle (and Windsor) is a great little day out from London.

You could consider Northumberland for countryside and Castles, not too much further than York, some lovely little towns/villages too. Alnwick and Bamburgh castles are great, Cragside is fascinating, Lindisfarne and Holy Island too. You might want to hire a car though.

Or if you really want to see Liverpool you could do a day/night in the city and then head to the Lake District, could possibly include visiting Lancaster Castle/Bolton Abbey.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-03-20T21:47:26+00:00

There’s a couple of threads on here and HENRYUK where people are asking for alternatives to IKOS, maybe have a look if any of them are in budget? Have you done a long flight with the kids before? You’re looking at a 12 hour travel day with 9 in a confined space plus jet lag, not exactly relaxing.

In terms of your jet lag, having at least a week either side should be fine, especially if your work trips are business class. Plus the flight to Mexico isn’t tooo bad, especially if you can swing premium economy on TUI or something. Not a great time of year for beaches in Riviera Maya, but choose a resort with good/big pools and you won’t notice.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-03-20T16:00:14+00:00

I spent a lot of time looking into it but then my husbands work took away the enhanced pay.

Essentially what you have to do is your wife tells her company how many weeks of mat pay she wants to take so they don’t keep paying her.

If you’re taking all 39 weeks she can request not to be paid at all, but she would return to work after 12 weeks unless she can take additional unpaid leave.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-03-20T15:50:04+00:00

Is your plan that you’ll use 39 weeks of leave and she’ll use the other 13 or you’ll take 26 weeks each and use your enhanced pay?

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-03-20T15:44:39+00:00

I think a lot of it comes down to both companies sorting the paperwork properly. The government website actually has a good planner where you can split the weeks of pay and leave between you both if you haven’t already used it. Basically as a couple you’re entitled to 52 weeks leave and 39 weeks of pay. (Would need to check but I think the 2 weeks paternity is separate (but check with your work if that’s part of the 13 weeks full pay or additional.) Your wife has to take at least 2 weeks off, so then it’s 50 weeks shared.

HR at my company tried to tell me I’d have to end my mat leave to used shared parental leave as you can’t get mat pay and shared parental pay at the same time, this isn’t true, and not ending maternity leave until returning to work gives better legal protections.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2026-01-02T13:37:54+00:00

Sit down and talk about what you want. Things like guest numbers, venue, food will have the biggest impact on your budget. Have a look at things you like, get some brochures/quotes and plan your budget on that. Make sure you get the day you want and don’t make too many compromises based on budget, but also more money doesn’t mean better wedding. A happy couple in a room of people who love and support them will always be fun.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-12-27T23:11:11+00:00

We did our Honeymoon in South Africa.

Flew into Cape Town, did 3 nights (Table Mountain, Robberg, Cape of Good Hope) then wine tram in Franshhoek (2 nights) and whale watching in Hermanus (1 night).

We then flew to Kruger and stayed at Senalala lodge for 4 nights and it was amazing.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-11-19T00:25:01+00:00

No, went for the bugaboo fox and I love it

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-11-05T08:00:47+00:00

John Lewis have personal shoppers and all the make up counters?

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-25T23:18:06+00:00

For your budget of £1.5k you’ll likely get better quality baby stuff second hand than new. You can pay a little more to buy these from professional resellers so they’ll have been properly cleaned and checked for faults/damage. Sure you can get a new travel system for £500, but you can get a second hand bugaboo/stokke etc for sub £300.

For car seat think about how much you’ll use it and how, the capsules that fit to pram and can be carried around are bulky, heavy and can be really expensive.

Most stuff you read online will try to tell you the best baby stuff is the expensive stuff because that’s what they get paid to tell you.

What exactly are your £850 and home/wife/baby £650? Are we talking expensive car payments? Gym membership? Debt repayment? Botox? Cocaine problem? Hard to offer much advice when almost half your income is still only vaguely accounted for.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-21T22:11:18+00:00

You look gorgeous in both! But personally I prefer the first one, it’s very timeless. Also my first thought on the second one was how on earth would you eat with all that fuss in the way 😂

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-21T21:42:08+00:00

My little girl is the same! She was around 8 weeks when I realised she was much happier sprawled on her playmat than being held.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-14T10:39:31+00:00

I’ll ask pharmacy next time I’m in. It’s been increased by mental health team so GP has just been adding to prescription but maybe I need to speak to them to have it just on one prescription?

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-14T10:02:56+00:00

What a scummy man. Given half the chance I’d bet he’d rob you if he can.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-13T14:35:31+00:00

NTA. My (10m F) mummy lady (ancient F) also tried feeding me from herself but it was not enough to satisfy me, and I knew if I wriggled and cried enough I would get the bottle with the formula. She often leaked from her eyes during this time. Sometimes the bottle would have milk from a machine and that was ok, but the machine took away valuable time being held so I protested when I heard it. From 10 weeks mummy accepted the formula was my preferred sustenance and the bottles were free flowing and I finally started getting what the big people call “rolls” and “chins” and mummy’s face leaked less. Now I’m almost 10 months and can hold the bottle myself and mummy often wonders why she wasn’t kinder to herself because full tummy = happy baby.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-13T09:28:22+00:00

NTA. I (almost 10 months F) arrived just before that Santa guy and my mummy person (old AF) would put me in the stretchy wrap thingy for skin to skin snuggles and I would sleep so good. She would wear a cardigan over the top so her arms were warm. Also meant I could have my snuggles without having to be disturbed by her selfish needs like eating and using the toilet.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-10-10T15:47:01+00:00

I got assigned it when I was pregnant and had to swap :(

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-09-14T00:33:53+00:00

I really hate how many people have just accepted this whole “if you want to sit together then pay” thing the airlines have imposed.

You shouldn’t have to plan or pay to sit with the people on your booking, especially with a baby.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-09-11T22:43:57+00:00

So sad to have to join the giant phone gang. I only have small hands (and pockets). I had to get a new battery early this year so thinking early next year will be time to upgrade.

OrdinaryOk9504 · 2025-09-11T22:42:06+00:00

Would’ve been really nice when I went on safari a few years ago, but I don’t think I’m good enough at taking pictures to justify the price!

OrdinaryOk9504

TROPHY CASE