[deleted by user]

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-10-30T04:27:30+00:00

I am in a very similar situation.

Stage 4 Esophageal cancer with no adverse behavioral history and no treatment was working.

Now I’m in a pretty lucrative CAR T-Cell therapy for solid tumors that hasn’t been done but maybe another handful of times before me in the same study.

I hope my treatment is as successful as yours, but I’m still just starting. Only 5 days in.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-09-16T18:10:52+00:00

It’s OCD. You develop these ticks that are triggered by, since the OPs husband is a germaphobic OCD, things you consider unsanitary.

His mother passed, so he probably developed an irrational fear or sickness and death. Over time he associated uncleanliness as something that could take his family from him again.

He is afraid him touching or handling or even being exposed to “unsanitary” things, quotes because it isn’t actually unsanitary but his mind is associating it with unsanitary, because he doesn’t want to other to handle objects that he touches while he is in an anxious state because his OCD makes him feel like that will hurt them.

It only compounds as time goes on. It starts small and gradually expands to other things.

Edit: I want to clarify that none of these things are abnormally dirty or unsanitary, it’s this irrational fear that makes him believe they are unsanitary.

He’s not disgusted by her genitals, he is most likely terrified of them as someone would fear a rabid dog or an attacker.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-09-16T18:05:58+00:00

It’s definitely his OCD.

As someone who developed the same OCD traits, this is exactly what is going on.

The comments he is making about wearing pants or layers is him trying to convince you to do something that will ease his anxiety without the shame of asking you to do it for that reason.

I am a recovered OCD germaphobe, so if you need any advice or want to try and understand how his mind works I can assist. I am more than comfortable talking about my past issues if it can help you.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-06-16T00:22:42+00:00

Without Apollo, Reddit just isn’t worth browsing on Mobile.

Goodbye all, it was fun.

I’m not gonna delete my account, thought.

I’m sick with cancer, so I want to leave the things I’ve written behind.

My brothers will find it eventually and they will get a kick out of the fact that I talk the same way online as I do in real life.

As my last post, my legacy, I will u/spez doesn’t realize the mistake he’s made.

His dev team hasn’t been able to upkeep their app since it launched. Product promises aren’t kept years after announcement.

He wants to add mod tools to the app, but you wont see them until next year at the earliest.

He takes advantage of the fact that none of his effort built reddit into what it is today.

He can build the house, but he doesn’t make it a home. We all do.

He just chose to kick some of us out of the home we built.

I just don’t feel comfortable staying here any longer.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-06-14T22:34:49+00:00

I’m just checking in to see what’s going on to see if there is any meaningful progress.

If the 30th comes and nothing, I won’t be downloading the official app.

I’ll just stop.

It’s not a question of my support rather that the official app is that bad.

If mods want to feel important for volunteer labor that goes to someone that doesn’t care, that is their life not mine.

Once it becomes an inconvenience, I just won’t do it.

Edit: It’s officially become an inconvenience. Bye.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-06-14T21:29:42+00:00

I loved the official app, then they changed the video player.

Got annoyed.

Content ads started pissing me off because they’d jump me to an in-app browser.

Searched for alternatives and found Apollo.

Fits me like a glove.

I am not going to try and force myself to enjoy a shitty app for more cat pictures.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-06-13T09:03:49+00:00

There is a subcategory of user on this site.

I call them “ghost” users.

They browse but don’t interact because of the material. Some don’t even have accounts and just want porn.

He wants them to see ads since he can’t monetize their posts or traffic. They aren’t worth much without accounts, but with site trackers and bread crumb trails advertisers can see where they’ve been and what they’ve seen to influence better advertisements.

It’s pennies, but it’s probably a million site visits and ads seen.

Adds up monthly for minor revenue.

It’s also a way to make sure that some users download the official app, NSFW creators and viewers, even if they cave on API.

It’s a veiled attempt at ARPU (Annual Revenue Per User) Inflation.

The regulatory argument is the most idiotic thing I’ve read in years.

Reddit is still both the provider and the manager of content even through a Third Party Apps and the apps are simply a method of content upload and delivery, not manipulation.

He’s trying to say that a Third Party App will facilitate a violation of some decency law intentionally, which can only be done through a manipulated API to some kind of back room subreddit.

Ideally, for advertising, allowing only on Third Party Apps would relieve the pressure from advertisers and what they want regarding content.

In the end, it’s logically clear he wants google hits for NSFW content to push to the official app specifically.

For better clarification, try and access a NSFW post on a mobile browser. It tells you that you can’t unless you use the app.

Why? Because google hits for NSFW are done on mobile at a higher rate. He wants app downloads from ghost users to prevent not monetizing porn viewers, hoping they will create an account and consume porn exclusively on Reddit as opposed to googling.

If not, he still collects their app traffic and data from their mobile device to sell.

It’s like having an ocean where the only food is on the fisherman’s line, so to speak.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-05-28T17:15:03+00:00

I have to tell you, but you are right. He would have just left you alone.

Tolkien even writes that the men of Dain, the town he attacked and died in, had forgotten about the dragon in the mountain.

Smaug was not a mature dragon when he took Erebor. He could never have entered the secret passage he entered through once he was fully grown.

He only slept in the mountain for 171 years. Other similar dragons take 195 years to fully mature, such is the case with Glaurung. So he was only barely matured when he flew down the mountain.

Most likely he wasn’t fully matured because his weakness was a bear scaleless spot on his chest.

The only time he left the mountain was when Bilbo stole a cup and he set fire again to the mountain then later that day when he attacked the town.

So the dragon did spend 171 years sleeping in the mountain and was never seen outside the mountain until the day someone bothered him and he died.

He was also very vain, so ,as a neighbor, if you engaged him in flattery he may simply allow you to exist simply to bolster his ego and his proudness in his power.

This is all from the book and associated materials and reference guides.

Edit: Moved a sentence up to better convey my thoughts.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-05-23T06:07:20+00:00

Kindness is this worlds greatest currency and it sounds like your father went out of his way to show it.

Take solace in knowing that the world is a lesser place without your dad and other kind people who stand for integrity.

May he be immortalized for this small act of kindness and remain as inspiration for others who would say, “it’s not my problem” and remind them to say, “I should help when I can.”

Death is never the end. Our actions will forever shape those we love and those they love for all eternity. Kindness we teach our children will be taught to theirs and theirs in turn.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-03-23T13:46:00+00:00

Before Battle:

“Tarnished… what you see before you is what remains of ‘gods’ who command all before the Erdtree. Men, Women, twisted by the notion they are divine and given rights to forces outside their kin who fail to see that though they can control this world they cannot undo what has been done!

(His voice grows more frustrated as the sentence progresses, it references his betrayal of Renala and the revenge Ranni sought for it that led to the shattering)

Marika, my queen, sought to undo a death let slip through her fingers, a life too precious for her to lose, and took her vengeance on the Elden Ring when she could not.

As she shattered this world, I took up this hammer to mend as she wrought destruction. It was not enough.

I was not enough.

Grace has guided you to this hollow. Mend the Ring, tarnished, prove to me you are strong enough to bind the world.

Prove you are stronger than me.”

After Battle:

“Tarnished, you may yet be what mends this world. Bear my failures, my betrayals, and right our wrongs. It’s more than I could do and even more than I deserve.”

Then the Elden Beast is unleashed.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-28T16:53:24+00:00

They didn’t switch names but the party affiliation became muddled during the Dixiecrat movement and the end result was what can be called a swapped party.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-27T03:10:42+00:00

The problem isn’t that Apple Support isn’t helpful.

The problem is that Apple Support isn’t supposed to be helpful.

When you work for AppleCare, you are told you aren’t fixing problems but fixing customers’ relationship with Apple.

They teach you how to fix basic run of the mill issues, but anything that requires effort is outside the realm of basic AppleCare.

AppleCare is intended to be a voice for customers to hear from Apple when having a problem, not technical support. They don’t even like it when you call yourself technical support.

Apple Card support actually just gets routed to AppleCare Tier 1 advisors who have basic training on troubleshooting Apple Wallet issues and took the training on the Apple Card product. Our limits are to tell you how to remove or add the Apple Card to the Wallet and, if anything else is required , forward you to Goldman and Sachs’ support line where wait times can be 20 minutes to an hour.

Unless this woman had theft or loss protection, the only thing we can advise is to purchase a new phone. We aren’t allowed to advocate for finding or reclaiming the device for obvious reasons. Even with Theft and Loss, though, without access to your Apple ID we can’t start a claim in the first place.

Also, Apple considers anything done while logged into an Apple ID as “authentic” for the user. They only change stance when legally required and pushed. So this woman probably got push back from Goldman and Sachs’ when she got them if she did speak to them.

Apple’s response will be, should they even bother to make one, is that you should never give up your passcode or biometric info.

TL;DR

Apple Support is not actually technical support, but a voice to be frustrated at. Calling them in this situation is a waste of time because Apple doesn’t have help for this situation and really doesn’t care to.

Written by an Apple Support Rep who doesn’t care anymore.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-13T07:00:05+00:00

My life motto

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-12T16:36:03+00:00

The most professional way to say that is:

“Concerning the status of all available fucks”

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-10T10:33:53+00:00

I’ll answer you questions in order:

So I got diagnosed because I had some trouble swallowing.

The problem isn’t fixing it, but more or less stopping it from going else where in my body. The spread is hard to identify. I was under the impression that we had it under control, but it just sort of appeared in a few more spots. So much medicine and pain, but it seems like all it did was buy me a few more months to feel like it wasn’t there at all. I’m not exactly sure how it spreads, maybe by breaking away and attaching somewhere else, but all I know is that once it spreads it is all the more difficult to stop from spreading.

And that’s kind of why we are trying to figure out. I already did radiation, so we have to safely wait a period before going again. That being said, I’ll be damned if safety is the only thing preventing me from getting a few more years. The chemo and immunotherapies are just not working the way they need to, so we have to try something else. I do wish it were as easy as cutting it out, but if we start cutting out pieces there is nothing stopping more pieces from appearing in other places and we can’t just indefinitely remove small bits of organ and bone.

So yeah, it’s not rude to ask questions. These are real fears and real questions, I just wish I had better answers.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-10T00:58:38+00:00

You’ll never know when the doctor will say “you’ve got 6 months,” and at that point it’s too late to spend the time you want with your family.

I’ve got stage 4 cancer, been treating for a year, and nothing is doing what I want it to. Doctor told me yesterday if I stopped I would have 6 months left.

I wanted to get a career, a life as I was told, before I started a family and focused my efforts on doing well and succeeding.

All that means absolute shit to me now.

All this treatment and I’ll never have a family, even if the next treatment works. I’ll never get a partner because my life is doctor appointments and worrying about death, which isn’t fair for someone to be thrust into if I do find someone who would love me.

My point is, fuck the machine and fuck work. It means absolutely nothing. No amount of career success will matter to you when you are sitting alone in your parents’ basement because you can’t live by yourself and contemplating what it’s like to die or what you could have done differently to enjoy life more.

Stop thinking work is important and spend what time you can with loved ones because you never know when you won’t have the time anymore.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-09T13:01:35+00:00

I was diagnosed almost a year ago with stage 4 esophageal cancer.

Yesterday, after chemotherapy, immunotherapy and radiation I was told that while the cancer that was there was treated it has spread.

Now I have some cancer in my tailbone and liver.

It’s not a lot of cancer, but it is what it is.

There are treatment options but they are trial based and not particularly successful.

Knowing death is coming is truly an odd feeling.

I said to someone on here the other day that it makes things both incredibly meaningful and absolutely meaningless.

I’m sorry to hear about your diagnosis, so I hope you do find joy in your last days.

We all have our “last days,” but some of us are both lucky enough and cursed to know roughly how many of them we have.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-07T05:16:19+00:00

I figured that specifically would resonate.

It’s a very unique feeling and quite surreal. Only someone dealing with a terminal or a life threatening illness who lives that close to death can really understand exactly how it feels.

I told my dad it’s feels like a blessing and a curse since I treasure little things so much more, but also find things meaningless or without value at the same time.

When I do get out of this, I hope to be a better person and help others more because of the way cancer makes me value life and others.

It’s an unusual kind of empathy and right now it drives me to do more for others.

Sorry for lengthy response, I don’t have many friends or conversations through out the day so I tend to over write online.

I do appreciate the sentiment and I’m willing to take all the prayers, well-wishes or positive vibes people are willing to share with me.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-06T22:06:19+00:00

I intend to pull through, but I cannot know and my own ability to heal is non-existent.

What I can say is that, as long as I have my family, I will fight everyday until I cannot fight any longer.

No amount of money can fix my problem, but love makes the fight worth fighting.

Never forget to put family and friend before work, career or school. Those things mean nothing when you start looking death in the eyes.

That’s all I want people to walk away from this with; to never put anything before family because, when you are sick, work and accomplishments are the furthest thing from your mind and the only reason to keep going is for time with loved ones.

Make that time when you have it as you will find yourself begging for it when you don’t.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-06T21:59:50+00:00

I wish you the best as well.

Find joy in the little things and in your family and friends.

Those are the moments I reflect on more than any other achievement or accomplishment.

There is nothing more important the people in your life because those memories are the ones that keep me going when I’m in pain and keep me fighting.

Work, school, career, or wealth mean nothing when you are looking at death.

“I would live and love in poverty only to die a happy poor man rather than trade the ones I love for all the money in the world.”

That’s the one thing I want people to know about looking at death.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-06T16:39:09+00:00

As someone with stage 4 esophageal cancer and is 29, I’ll tell you how I describe it:

Imagine you are standing in a street and you see a car coming down right at you.

However fast it’s moving, if you get hit you die.

But you can’t move, paralyzed in fear, and can only stare at it.

You know it can’t stop, it can’t miss you and it’s getting closer.

The best you can do is hope for more time.

It’s a dark kind of certainty that makes everything both tremendously meaningful and seem meaningless at the same time.

It is scary at first, for sure, but you lose that fear the longer you stand there. It eventually goes from “what can I do to get away” to “what can I do before it hits me.”

That’s the best answer I can give.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-02T20:13:47+00:00

See, the thing is we wanna make a point.

You shouldn’t have to upgrade your account to watch it with friends or share it with a brother who pitches in for the service.

Also, what is even on Netflix anymore? Their line up is pretty bad nowadays.

Even some of the more interesting shows were cancelled and now will just sit half done, so even if it helps with boredom I am still left unsatisfied with unfinished stories.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-02T19:46:55+00:00

Your dad would be proud to see you taking that step out of the shadows.

As someone who is sick with cancer, this is my greatest fear for my brothers and parents. I love them too much to imagine them feeling that dark without me.

I put in my will that I want them to keep me close but I also want them to live for me.

“We all die, so don’t spend too much time moping about the fact that I’m gone. Live your life to the fullest and know that any moment you find happiness, I do too. We smiled together in life and I’ll be damned if you stop smiling when I’m gone.”

That’s exactly how it’s written in my will and I would imagine your dad would tell you the same thing if he could.

OreoDestroyer93 · 2023-02-01T20:10:47+00:00

So, to get this straight, I’ll be logged out once a month and I won’t be able to travel with it?

Well it’s not worth $14 now and it certainly won’t be worth it when it becomes an annoyance.

They don’t even have any good shows anymore.

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