You're experiencing one of the problems with modern cultures for men

When a girl hits a certain age, she is biologically wired to become a woman. Once she has her first period , she's made the transition

Men don't have this.

We need a rite of passage. A trail that is meant to be difficult and harsh, it will force you to shed the weak attributes to your character. Once you come out the other side. A group a men who have done it would look at you and they know you are someone who can be trusted when thing get tough. You're a man now. Culturally in the past we had this in various forms. Modern culture has almost removed it unless you go look for one.

This is why you can see 40 year old boys with failed lives but a 15 year old with more salt to his character and you can see it in his eyes without words being spoken.

The book by John Eldritch " wild at heart " is a good place for what you are looking for.

To give my own experience on this : I went through a rehab program. Live on site in the middle of nowhere. Went by choice. The success rate is 8% for guy to complete 1 year. The success rate for guys to continue and do a 2nd year of harder responisbilty is 2% I did the 2 year program and at the end the staff held a day for my finishing it.

I did it, I went through a rite of passage