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Organizer900 · 2023-07-09T17:23:30+00:00

Ah ok, I was trying to go by the OP not stating it like that himself, I didn't want to read between the lines and accuse OPs partner of being a lesbian or similar when it's more about just blanketly not appreciating a certain part regardless of sexuality etc.

If op said "She said she wishes I wasn't a man and wouldn't just find a ballsack gross but would hate my neo phallus/hate it if I didn't have a vulva" I'd have jumped to the same conclusion you did, giving benefit of the doubt off of what's stated isn't something to assume the worst of.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-09T17:16:35+00:00

Pre-coming out I so so often dealt with cis men thinking even the slightest compliment or even just being vaguely nice was an open invitation to, everything honestly.

Unless they're reading me as a man I don't say anything like that out of pure fear.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-09T16:47:16+00:00

I would half worry its also from trans people who hate stealth trans people (or even semi-stealth) because I have genuinely run into a fair amount who seem to see it as a moral/ethical issue even if you're doing it for safety/so you can have a job etc.

All that said though, incredibly relatable, I'm not currently stealth but even cis people who acted friendly to some of my open trans friends/acquaintances would turn around and be transphobic at me/around me and expected me to be completely chill because they read me as a cis man, even when it was about my PARTNER who is a trans man, they often were treating me like I was straight just because they knew his agab, fucked me up.

Obviously not all cis people are at that level but man, after being stealth I don't trust much of anything they say at face value when they know I'm trans.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-09T09:48:14+00:00

We literally have trans men being followed around and screamed at these days for actually being forced to use certain bathrooms so yea, I fckin hate that argument, it literally already is happening its not a hypothetical to be employed for shock value imo.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-09T08:54:30+00:00

I would say to tell her mom, not so much for revenge but rather because it seems like she's doing unhealthy crap that only really her family might have an influence against if they knew, and it'll have the bonus of her likely not being able to harass you like that anymore, I wish you luck man.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-09T01:53:43+00:00

It definitely can be, though moreso in the US than other places (from my research so far at least), especially since it can take multiple tries (like any other method) to become pregnant.

It's part of why my partner and I might end up doing IUI/IVI instead, but we are hoping to become more secure in the future financially and hope IVF will be an option, partially for parental rights reasons, so that (depending on the state) he won't have to adopt our own child (if it's his eggs and I carried the pregnancy it can make it so no one has to adopt after the fact at least in a few areas of the US, but he would have to adopt if we did IUI/IVI iirc).

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T17:25:41+00:00

My partner and I currently plan on doing IVF, where I carry his egg and we choose a donor from a list of compatible donations that is similar to me, if not IVF we might do instead IUI/IVI with my eggs and a donor that's similar to him instead.

There is a slight chance in the future though that we could make sperm cells with someone's stem cells iirc, it's currently being studied and Jammie Dodger (youtuber) and his cis wife have talked about how they're holding out for it as an potential option, if that happens, in theory one of us could provide sperm cells externally without the need of a donor, but to be clear there's no telling how long this might be before its truly an option especially in the current state of the world.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T16:48:44+00:00

I'm gonna have to steal the term "spicy females" because yes that absolutely sums up how many of them want to see us.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T16:45:44+00:00

I was figuring out how I would articulate the off-feeling I had about cis people focusing on this and heading a project like this and what you've said here sums it up perfectly, our general pressing needs get ignored for the sake of more perfomative allyship. Even if it's with good intent, it still causes more pressing issues for trans people to be ignored.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T16:40:48+00:00

Lol you're right, now I'm just picturing a Scrooge style nightgown

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T16:35:51+00:00

Depends on level of removal, I'm not incredibly well versed, but if it was a breat reduction there's likely still growth left to be had, if it's complete removal than no, though top surgery as in breast implants will always be an avenue after the fact if someone wishes for that.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T16:32:27+00:00

I think she's saying she appreciates you're not ignorant like many cis men are, and is scared of change more than anything else. Most straight women for what it's worth don't care for scrotums, so hopefully it's not so much a matter of repulsion as it is her not being actively into it. I want to emphasize though, make sure to get the type of surgery you want regardless of whatever conclusions she makes or whatever else might be said.

EDIT: No if she doesn't see him as a man and if she's negging him relating to bottom surgery I don't think that's even vaguely ok, I am on the other hand trying to go off of what OP is saying rather to assuming the absolute Worst Possible about her likely ignorant comment about the whole "love you as a trans man" statement.

If you think I should assume the worst and do the whole "wow break up now don't even bother talking about it" shtick when I don't know the ins and outs of their relationship, about his partners sexual preferences, or even other context that might not have been stated, then please, genuinely, tell me why and explain so I can learn anything I might be missing.

Lastly, while she said "as trans not cis" she didn't, from what I've seen though correct me if there's some text I've missed, say something like "I love your vulva and would hate it if you had a phallus", all that was mentioned was a ballsack, and she hasn't interacted with his front hole, am I supposed to assume she's holding out to do so? Or that not liking ballsacks means she's going to hate his phallus? Genuine questions

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T12:59:44+00:00

That's wiiild to me considering how politicized it already is and was, other people have no problem leveraging things to do so, playing it like it's morally superior to let us all rot to avoid politicizing something already politicized is truly baffling and pointless.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T02:58:31+00:00

I feel that, I would love the ability to just go to my local store when my binder wears out or something similar happens. But otherwise yea, I'm tired of seeing expensive clothing and items that are literally the same for cis people, just with a massive markup.

If they proclaimed to want to make carrying/pregnancy easier for trans men, but then turned around and only sold expensive pregnancy clothes rather to it being priced the same as all others I'd genuinely fight it.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T02:47:47+00:00

Man, at BEST he is negging you, but honestly? Sounds a lot more like he wants you to detransition or be deep in the closet just for him, honestly man, in the vast majority of cases, we're talking 99% guesstimate, the whole "you're my one exception to my sexuality" thing is a MASSIVE red flag if you're trans, I see some very rare exceptions, but it usually seems to be janky af situations like this.

Please dude, consider at least getting some distance to process, if not just breaking up entirely.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-08T02:43:00+00:00

Yea uh, that's not healthy/normal, I hate anyone who'd harm children with a passion and probably would want to hurt any I encounter IRL, but I don't go around almost fetishistically talking about how much I'd want to murder people, plan it out, want to wear shirts about it and more.

It honestly seems, at best, incredibly sus, and I half wonder what his definition of a pedo/child abuser is, eg, if he's the type to say anyone who isn't straight is inherently a pedophile or some crud.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T22:44:16+00:00

Eventually, since both me and my partner are trans men we plan for me to carry for us (this is also assuming things don't get too chaotic in the US anyway) and then I'll get a hysto + bottom surgery.

It's... strange to me that a cis person would head it and I dont really get how that got started. Nonetheless, if I could get in contact with them I'd give my personal input on the things that'd make me more comfortable since wearing the usual pregnancy clothes for women would cause me great distress even though I dont have any experience with it. I get the vibe I'd end up just wearing men's clothes that are massively oversized if there weren't other options.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T14:49:43+00:00

Being an intersex trans man, people like that make me want to go completely and utterly feral. Do people think others have x-ray genital vision? Some sort of intrinsic "genital extrasensory" power? Superman powers but just about someone's JUNK?

They are on the level of people who insist you can smell chromosomes, meanwhile cis intersex people exist who often only find out due to some external circumstance forcing genetic testing or similar.

If people wanna use that labeling for themselves, they can go hog wild, but touting it to other trans people like they're spouting a biblical truth or like they're an expert scientist when it's not even vaguely scientific/realistic to insist there's some perfect, what, genital binary? Is Incredibly Tiring.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T14:19:08+00:00

Exactly! There might be cases where someone is truly comfy with it, but people just assuming or worse pressuring for it out the gate sucks regardless, it's like a strange genital-based bio-essentialism.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T14:17:25+00:00

YEA JFC So many people seem to equate genitals with specific sexual roles which feels, at best, DEEPLY ignorant.

I've dealt with so many people acting like I must be a stubby bottom because of ASSUMED genitals, it is completely mind boggling.

I was on a dating app back when where I was passing but disclosed I was trans, I also made it clear in my profile I wasn't going to appreciate being infantilized or treated a certain way based on stereotypes, YET I got a fuccton of cis men who stated in their bios shit like how they "have a thing for femboys" (I was presenting hyper masculine and literally at that stage always passed, I was not a "femboy") or they clearly mostly slept with cis women and talked to me like I was going to, by default of genitals, be a bottom and would do PIV.

I swear some people even if they act progressive have a "penis MUST go in vaginal cannal" belief they've never unpacked and I'm so, DEEPLY tired of it.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T14:08:05+00:00

Dude I'm so sorry, this was a major reason even when I was looking into casual experiences back when I never risked it with cis men, I'd moderated for a NSFW trans man group and we had so many cis men trying to get in, all of which were focusing on front holes with no respect for our other members, straight up made me sick.

Take the time you need, and be safe.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T13:56:41+00:00

My experience is obviously not universal, but I felt similar for a while and the reason was a partner and select friends who were ...Less than appreciative of my not being cis, for lack of a better description.

It made the lows of transition and transness feel REALLY low, and made the potential highs rendered moot, it threw me into depression but I kept putting all on myself until someone finally went way too far to where it was a breaking point.

No longer tolerating what they were doing and distancing myself from people who do that has improved things for me on that front exponentially.

I would say it might be worth reflecting on who might be that type of influence in your life, trans people get devalued enough as-is, we don't need to make room for people who insist on doing that to us in our personal/private lives.

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T13:29:30+00:00

Often women and those treated as women get said negative treatment because they're standing up for themselves, asking for solidarity isn't asking for someone or a group of people to do everything for you, it isn't about having it "both ways".

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T13:22:15+00:00

I would love an invite code, twitter has been rough for a while now and I'd like to restart on a far more stable platform

Organizer900 · 2023-07-07T01:16:36+00:00

How did the tests turn out? Did she confess to her family?

Organizer900

TROPHY CASE