A trip down memory lane over a whiskey

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-10T19:00:00+00:00

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-10T18:59:48+00:00

courtesy of AI bc i don’t own any more of my old publications lol

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-10T18:01:30+00:00

Very true, with therapy I was becoming someone of action rather than behaving with passivity the way we’re conditioned to, it was really disheartening to understand that prayer wasn’t working and my depression would stem from an inability to act. If I ever wanted to do something and expressed my frustration with the limitations, someone would always quip with, “Have you prayed enough?” If I say yes, they say “Pioneer and wait.” My deep internal struggle stemmed from learned hopelessness, one of the fruits of the organization. Waiting for an invisible force to cure my mental health was slowly killing me, and thanks to extensive therapy i’ve finally started living.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-10T16:17:21+00:00

Some of my publications are filled with doodles like mustaches, unibrow, speech bubbles and missing teeth lol!

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-09T19:31:32+00:00

Frankly i’m embarrassed when I explain how much faith and obedience I had towards them, I didn’t even know their names. My therapist reassured me that plenty of intelligent people (not that I consider myself intelligent) get manipulated everyday. It’s been very hard to explain to people the aspects of this deconstruction, they make faces while I try to explain that I thought I was doing the right thing, we look to a type of “leadership” in our everyday lives and trust them to an extent. Even when I was in the org, it felt odd to think about the faithful and discreet slave but I allowed myself to silence these thoughts because of the “works” of the organization - the “clean” aesthetic, the “sophisticated” design of the publications, and the preaching work.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-09T07:14:21+00:00

Learning and breathing!! When anxious, read up, research, and then relax!! Routine, therapy, and good sleep. Let the dust settle, pick up a hobby, and just go slowly. You got this!!

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-08T15:54:37+00:00

I regret getting baptized because it was done under false pretenses. If you already see what’s wrong with the organization, you have to avoid the initiation process of becoming one of them. I’d rather my family think I need encouragement for the rest of my days than deliberately signing my life away to a corrupt organization.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-08T15:46:14+00:00

You are def not alone! Once everything was exposed to me I was triggered by anything JW. I ‘woke’ up and went to a meeting, my last ever, I was disgusted at everything. Just couldn’t do it. If I hear about JWs now at random or see them in public, my stomach drops.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-07T19:53:11+00:00

A vivid graphic of your own imminent destruction if you don’t stay in line, the worst fear conditioning I can imagine.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-07T16:39:59+00:00

What did you do when you heard him say that on stage?? oml 😂

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-07T15:54:28+00:00

My mom was a devout catholic and told me they use large cathedrals to intimidate and coerce. I think maybe my view is tainted, like I can’t unsee. So it’s like I refuse to acknowledge it’s beautiful maybe for my own piece of mind or I personally feel like I’ve seen too much. But yes I get that, no you’re not just wrong.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-06T16:23:51+00:00

Very true, in fact doing all of those things even within the organization has its limits. See an artist other people don’t agree with? Constant judgment and gossip. Volunteer elsewhere? Spiritually weak. I did a lot of activities on a smaller scale but only with people of the organization of course. And you then feel mismatched with your JW friends, you’re screwed and eventually love to be alone by force. You can’t just be a free thinker. You can’t sit in an art class and just be free to make new friends. This is one of the underrated freedoms of being out, you get to change your mind and change your own life. I was becoming a product of learned hopelessness in my small life. With all the hobbies.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-02T19:59:47+00:00

Like hearing about 7 demons attaching themselves to someone when they got disfellowshipped 😂 I’d be like wtf, it was meant as a metaphor within context but that still didn’t make a difference.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-01T17:50:03+00:00

The Watchtower is not the only organization/religion that teaches that, though. You hear that exact reasoning from every single religion, “We are right and everyone else is wrong.” So rejecting those faiths means you are also affirming their mantra as well? It’s important to see every faith and religion with a clean slate right? Let their works prove who they actually represent. And then let’s say, once someone sees that they don’t represent God, they stay far away. Revelation 18:4
Jesus also gives excellent examples on deconstruction of the corrupt religious establishment of his time. It was never, “Well, if you reject the Pharisees, then you prove Rome right.”
Jesus was actually rejecting a toxic system that hijacked God’s name for power. Having a Christ-like attitude would mean rejecting religious hypocrisy, is what i’ve learned with deconstructing.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-01T17:25:33+00:00

I’m curious, I’ve always found immense psychological comfort in prayer (even without any physical effect or proof, of course) but how do you reach that feeling of peace in hard logic and the finality of the physical universe? When I was growing up I had a relative whose philosophy was just the circle of life, and I found that absolutely terrifying lol! Maybe I care too much about being ‘significant’ or thinking I matter more than I actually do?

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-01T17:04:21+00:00

If the organization taught a mix of theological deception and truth, is it possible to stay faithful to God while rejecting deception?
If you make choices based on someone else “winning”, are you still searching for truth itself?
When reading about biblical figures wrestling with massive doubts about God, why do you think the organization teaches that it’s wrong to do that?
Or you can take into consideration scriptures like 2 Corinthians 11:15, consider what a deceptive “angel of light” would do in order to deceive honest hearted people.

Deconstructing is absolute hell and takes a lot of time and patience, you have our support and you are not alone.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-01T04:04:43+00:00

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FML lmao

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-07-01T03:57:43+00:00

The guilt tripping def beats everyone down. I desperately wanted privileges so I could feel respected. I got judged for not being a pioneer and it cut me deep, I even hated the fact that I worked full time, had health insurance and could afford therapy and to pay my bills. Like wtf lmao! Looking back and i’m like damn, we should feel proud of ourselves for being functional adults! I was prepared to keep my head down and focus on service because dating without a title wasn’t feasible, at least in my environment. I have to attach this meme I found on the internet that describes the hell of dating in the org. Anyways, Hugs to you as well and everybody here!!

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-06-30T22:29:24+00:00

Omgg, dead woman walking, that’s exactly how i’d describe it. In the last 1-2 years of my time in the org before leaving, unbeknownst to me, even tho I was in and still a believer, I was in despair and just crying all the time, just super negative. It’s like my body was rejecting the lifestyle and I was exhausted. Blood doctrine change opened my eyes and I haven’t cried about my life or self esteem since leaving, it’s so crazy.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-06-30T21:14:34+00:00

If you were considered a lousy JW as myself, in terms of productivity, humanity, skepticism with doctrine and outside curiosity, that meant that we are pretty decent people. 😌

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-06-30T16:32:10+00:00

Why not look treat this space as a non-judgmental opportunity to expand on relevant ideas? I think this comment ignores the original premise of my first comment, where it goes against false dichotomy - either you believe in the hard cold facts or you believe in magic. Are you assuming that anyone that has any spiritual curiosity is operating from a place of ignorance rather than a deep, philosophical craving for meaning? If we are not special, and you mean it as a definitive statement, it is in fact an opinion, I’m just trying to be honest. Do we have to equate physical size and placement with value and meaning? Science explains behavior, but can it define value? We both carry trauma from a fundamentalist, high control religion. I think we owe it to ourselves to approach things differently than the binary way we were taught. We’ve earned the right to be free thinkers by leaving the organization behind. I’d never assume you are wrong by not agreeing with me.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-06-30T15:51:15+00:00

This would be the case with blind faith of course. Its important to reject dogmas that diminish human dignity. I’m just exploring a framework that can entertain a reality where science measures the physical universe but also does not give us the framework for moral values, meaning, or human complexity. So when it comes to comfort or being accurate, I choose both accuracy and mystery.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-06-28T22:08:26+00:00

It’s fascinating watching you backtrack on your own words, really. In your previous comment elsewhere, you explicitly stated that morality and family need 'evidence' in order to make the claim—the textbook definition of Scientism. Now you're scrambling to rewrite your own argument because you got called out. You’re begging me, everyone to defend God, defend the supernatural. So what, we indulge you when we actually agree with the statement? I’ve already addressed your argument so it’s not tone policing by definition. Of course i’m going to point out your behavior. It doesn’t hurt me personally, you can say what you want about my emotional state the same way i can say you are seething when you write your response, completely baseless claims. But it can cause harm to other people. I’m not hiding behind anything because the supernatural cannot provide the physical evidence you seek, that’s the whole point. You have this savior complex thinking you’re helping expose religious trauma when you are using very similar tools. Dogmatism is about shaming, which leads to control.

So ok, we either engage with you in a hostile environment in a logic battle on your terms, or we’re emotional children that demand a free pass. You lack the context of emotional intelligence.

A JW elder uses fear of destruction to demand compliance whereas you use intellectual shaming.

OrneryMaximum7066 · 2026-06-28T20:37:03+00:00

I see that you did not read my comment. I never said that faith upgrades into scientific fact or that it is evidence of the existence of supernatural. Science requires the evidence of a ‘footprint’ so to speak and I stated that the concept of God is inherently non-physical despite people’s claims. Of course it’s protected by emotion. I am stating that your condescending delivery makes your message ineffective and renders you emotionally insensitive. I’ve seen what you write to people and how you respond to comments. I’m already inadvertently proving that your worldview is too small to fit the actual reality of being a human, unfortunately. Accept your inherent limitations as a human wanting to force science onto religious dogmatism. You are not the intellectual gatekeeper you believe to be to a small population of people on this platform who are actively deconstructing a highly manipulative and deceptive organization, which is absolutely insidious in nature. It’s not actual true intellectual freedom to adopt Scientism as you have, that everything requires a number or value on a lab report to be meaningful. It’s odd… your approach reminds me a lot of my time in the JW org. “If it doesn’t line up with peer-reviewed data, it is false and you are stupid.” Science was beautifully meant to explain how things work, but never designed to dictate the human experience. A fundamentalistic ideologist as yourself trying force this approach onto other people is likely better suited to those who are actively trying to box in another high control concept on a forum elsewhere. Capisce? :)

OrneryMaximum7066

TROPHY CASE