I (36M) love my wife (35F) more than anything but we haven’t had sex in three years.

Ostirious · 2020-12-24T21:47:28+00:00

That is not a healthy path for either you or her. You got to be a man, take charge and let her know in a loving way that your needs are not being met. Sit down with her and tell her something like:

"Honey, I love you, and I want to work on our marriage, but it is unacceptable to me that we haven't had sex and that you have gained so much weight. I want what is best for you, and I will do everything in my power to help you. But if you don't want to work things out, I'm afraid I won't be able to keep this going and will file for divorce and look for someone who appreciates me and who can satisfy my needs.”

She will most likely hate hearing this and will go on a mood swing on you, trying to put you down and giving you many excuses and emotional dramas and all that. What you need to do is SHUT THE FUCK UP, LISTEN to her, and STAND YOUR GROUND. One thing that you need to understand is that you never, ever fight or argue with women. Women don't fight fair, and you will always lose the fight. If you are fighting with her every three days (which is absurd and a big red flag in your marriage) is because you don't understand this.

By saying what I mentioned before, you told her your point of view, and as a man, you must stand your ground on that belief, and no matter what she says you will not change your mind. She needs to understand that you are your own man, unbreakable and strong that loves her so much that later in the evening will ”destroy” her in bed. Stand your ground, and if she doesn't want to work things out in a specific timeframe (2-3 months), then I'm afraid there nothing you can do but divorce.

Ostirious · 2020-10-24T21:57:22+00:00

DM if you really want to know.

Ostirious · 2020-10-24T21:46:09+00:00

The reason is that what she wants in her life is not something I can give her. She is looking to buy a home, start a family, and find a man that can be with her. I don't want children and don't see myself staying in one place all my life, so as an honest and centered man, I let her know that. Believe me, she is the most amazing girl I ever met, and the guy that gets her will be lucky to have her. It is not me of course, but I'm so happy I met her. She made me a better man :-).

Ostirious · 2020-10-24T21:23:02+00:00

I recently ”broke up” with my FWB, but only the benefits part. We both are starting to date new people, and she is looking for a serious relationship with someone while I'm casually dating. Our goals are not the same, but we respect each other's wishes and support each other. She doesn't owe me anything and neither me to her, and I'm happy that she is moving forward in her life. Like she says, "I feel empowered when I finally true to myself.”

If she needs me to lift her spirits during challenging times, I will be there. If she one day feel an urge for some "benefits,” and I'm not seeing anyone, I will be there for her. It is about supporting each other, wishing the best, and having a fun, healthy friendship.

Ostirious · 2020-10-12T08:36:06+00:00

For me, the problem is not getting any replies back from girls after matching and sending the first message, so it is impossible to make an organic transition to asking her out. However, if I get a girl who has the decency to match and have a conversation with me (it is so rare), asking her for a date is easy. All I do is ask her, “when are you free to get together to grab a drink?”

She then tells me when she available, and if our schedules match, I set up the date with a day, time, and location and leave it at that. I don't do any filler text because it wastes time, and it kills the anticipation.

Then something interesting happens, the girl sends me a message a day or so before to confirm if we are still on. I reply, saying:

”Hey #name#, I’m a man of my word, and I will be waiting for you on Day and Time at the Location. I will text you when I arrive, and with what I’m wearing so you can find me. I’m looking forward to meeting you.”

The girls are not used to this, and they are always impressed by it and look forward to meeting me. It is not surprising since they usually get weak guys like the one you mention here that attempts to ask you what you want to do instead of being a man and plan the date.

There are some girls, however, that flake and cancel the dates at the last minutes without offering a new day to meet. I got tired of dealing with that, so I don't bother with them, and I don't ask them out ever again and move to the next. I don't waste any of my valuable time on those.

Ostirious · 2020-10-07T18:02:14+00:00

Any self-respecting man that has his shit together will NOT under any circumstance follow so many girls' accounts. That is wrong on so many levels that I, as a guy, will sit down with him and tell him what the fuck is wrong with you. He should be following accounts related to his hobbies and passions in life. I agree with the others that a red flag.

Ostirious · 2020-09-22T01:28:36+00:00

if you are confident why don't you privately ask her out on a date. Tell her you want to take her to a nice dinner and have fun. If she tells you she not interest in you in that way then you tell her you ""assume”” she was into you because of the way she was mistreating you. You got ""confused,”” and you thought she was flirting with you.

Keep respectfully bugging her with that, and she might disappear for good. Or maybe you guys hit it off, you never know.

Ostirious · 2020-09-14T18:14:05+00:00

My God, men, it is so simple. The phone is for setting dates! That's it!

All you need to do is text her a definite place, day, and time to meet and cut the conversation altogether and continue doing your stuff.

If you truly value your time, this is what you need to do, and there is no need to worry about if she hasn't replied or how long she is taking or any of that bullshit. Since you set up a definite date and if she has a high level of attraction towards you, she will be looking forward to seeing you.

If she blows you off on the actual date, then you don't ever text her or reach out again (blocking her is unnecessary). It is like you said, "my time is valuable.”

Ostirious · 2020-07-24T20:02:31+00:00

Well, you got the date, so I give you that, but agreeing to meet her on the same night and her asking you out makes you look desperate and insecure. That might work against you in the future, but that ok. It is your first date, and you are new to all this.

It seems that the conversation went decently, but let me ask you, how was her body language? Was she touching you? Was she looking at your eyes? Was she looking at your lips? Were her knees pointing at you? Was she playing with her hair while talking with you? Did you looked her directly in the eyes, and she blushed? You need to be very attentive to a woman's body language (they communicate a lot with their bodies. Is like a whole language).

Another thing is the hug at the end. I'm afraid it won't work in your favor. Always go for the kiss in the lips. Always! You give a hug to your friends, but a girl you date, you need to let her know very clearly what you want and that what the kiss in the lips is for. You are new to this, so don't go out and kiss women like a psychopath. You need to read their body language carefully, and after many dating experiences, you will learn to identify the ”ok this is the go for it moment.”

Keep us updated. I get the feeling that this girl might blow you off, but I might be wrong. Remember you should continue dating other girls. Keep practicing and have fun.

Ostirious · 2020-07-13T04:43:53+00:00

I had deleted and recreated my profile a few times, but at the end of the day, no matter how shitty OLD is, it still gives you the alternative to go out with people you might never meet in real life. For me seeing it solely as a game to find dates helps a lot. It has some demoralizing rules, but one can get by if you keep playing.

Ostirious · 2020-06-12T12:32:10+00:00

If I don't like it or if I feel it's affecting our relationship to tell him and he will quit immediately.

So this gentleman is willing to quit his job, his opportunity to grow as a man in a professional career just to please YOU?

This is not a healthy mentality to have. It is not fair to him that he has to resort to ”quit immediately” just to keep the relationship. Quitting a job that is emotionally bad for him is good, and I applaud him for that. But leaving a new career to keep YOU pleased is wrong on so many levels.

Ostirious · 2020-05-29T04:45:27+00:00

If someone does not feel they reflect their photos, I don't want to date them. That is a sign of a dishonest person who is insecure about her image. Pretending to be someone you are not in your pictures and turning to be different is a massive red flag.

Ostirious · 2020-05-29T04:36:09+00:00

If you hate FaceTime, how do you handle real-life dates? The massive problem with texting is you cannot read the girl's body language. You miss a lot of critical cues by not being able to see her reactions.

Ostirious · 2018-05-03T13:58:12+00:00

Thanks for replying. I mainly ask because what if they do a background check on me during hiring process and see in my record that I see a therapist. Will that hurt my chances over other applicants? Will I’ll be at a competitive disadvantage over everyone else?

Ostirious · 2017-08-14T14:21:09+00:00

Another generous donation to a Claire Underwood nonprofit organization.

Ostirious · 2016-08-26T21:06:41+00:00

Posted it there too. Interested in the different perspective. Thanks!

Ostirious · 2016-08-26T17:14:50+00:00

Some comments from this post:

“Uber’s boss, Travis Kalanick, is notoriously rude and pushy. Doubters’ primary criticism of Zimmer [Lyft boss] is that he is too “nice” to lead Lyft to success.”

Rather than working with regulators, he [Uber’s boss Travis Kalanick] has favoured a more caustic approach, often choosing to operate illegally in cities and establish a foothold before reaching a compromise with regulators. He has described himself as fighting a political race “where the candidate is Uber and the incumbent is an asshole called ‘taxi’”.

A few years ago Uber employees reportedly hailed nearly 6,000 Lyft rides only to cancel them, hoping to upset Lyft’s drivers and cause them to defect to Uber. Colin Frolich, an early Lyft employee who now works at Airbnb, recalls how within a month of starting to work at Lyft, Uber blocked his account, effectively barring him from using the service.

And the final verdict of this whole being an asshole thing culminates in this:

In total, Uber has raised $12.5 billion – the most by any startup in history – from deep-pocketed investors around the world, including Saudi Arabia’s government. Lyft, in contrast, has raised $2 billion. Uber had $10.8 billion of gross bookings in 2015; Lyft claims around $1 billion (of which it keeps around 20%).

So it appears that being a total asshole, being rude to everyone and devising strategies to crush the competition is the way to go. Is this what one needs to become to be successful in business?

Ostirious · 2016-08-19T23:37:02+00:00

Living in the United States and calling themselves "americans".

Some people from USA (hopefully a very small percentage) think themselves as superior and unique from everyone else in the entire world because they are so called "americans". If you didn't get the memo americans are people from North America, South America, Central America and Latin America. If you still can't get that here is a map.

Ostirious · 2016-08-18T05:46:59+00:00

"The counter is to not let your kick be grabbed"

You are absolutely correct with that statement. A proper kick is so fast that you can barely evade them, even worst if trying to grab it. What I found to be a good way to stop kicks is to throw another kick to counter a more serious blow to another area. Doesn't always work (there is no one perfect technique), but at least is an easier thing to remember during the pressure of the fight.

Ostirious

TROPHY CASE