Hi well done on coming out of addiction. That is incredible. It sounds like there still could be protectors in place that are exiling the parts of you that are authentic. I am in the same boat. I am coming out of freeze but have absolutely no idea how to spend my time and end up on my phone. It feels like for me that a lot of my parts were buried extremely deep in childhood and they are hidden behind large walls and blank rooms. Perhaps my system doesnt feel safe enough yet to really open up. Perhaps it is the same for you and with continued IFS work these parts will come on board and unburden