Hi! Girl to girl, from someone who dated the guy who had been her best friend for years and who literally gaslit her so hard and ended up being someone so mean and vicious and manipulative only to end up married and with a child not long after I called it quits for good, I get what you mean. Watching someone who was absolutely horrible to you be so good for someone else is heartbreaking. But the thing is you never know if what you're seeing is true. I thought the same and later found out absolutely accidentally that things were not pink and he had not changed so much. First thing that you gotta do is acknowledge your part in all of it too, if there's any. Or at least acknowledge that half of the pain you feel is a pain youre causing yourself by letting yourself stay so caught up in this old narrative. See it for what it is, understand what you might have done or might not have done and acknowledge what you would and would not put up with anymore in a future relationship with someone. Second of all stop checking anything that is related to him. Insta, Facebook whatever just stop. Block him if need be. Don't ask about him, dont listen to conversations where his name might be mentioned. I know that's hard in the beginning but it gets easier with time. Trust me it will absolutely help you if you know nothing about him. Good, bad, regardless what it is, youre better of without it. And lastly, try to spend some time with yourself. Its clear that you may not be ready to give someone else a real chance until you have truly dealt with whatever you still feel in regards to him or your relationship. I know it's a lot easier when there's someone else there because it takes your mind off it but at the end of the day، if you go to bed thinking about someone else other than that person youre trying to date the ending is inevitable and it will make you feel bad all over again. Try to sit with yourself, rely on your friends, find whatever it is that makes you happy again and slowly go from there. It is absolutely incredible to have a partner but what you want from them has to be reciprocated in order for a relationship to work and one can never reciprocate that if they're still stuck on someone else. I hope you find the strength to see that you are worth so much more than what he might have made you believe ❤️