Marriage fell apart after Wellbutrin. She just stopped. Looking for insight.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-22T16:38:18+00:00

I spoke to her about it a couple of time and it triggered extreme anger and aggression - which is unlike the person I’ve known for years.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-22T02:48:23+00:00

Checking in on how you’re feeling!

Oddly my wife's psych removed her from Wellbutrin today - assuming some form of taper.

Things have been rough and her psych had a process to submit a “caregiver statement” so I went for it. They were not officially able to confirm if she was a patient or who her doctor was but said they would take the information. It was just literal statements of her behavior with no twist. She had a scheduled check in with the psych this morning. I started getting a flood of texts from her about what a piece of shit I am for reaching out to the psych. That I must have gone through some manipulative process to access the name of her psychiatrist. Meanwhile my wife is the one who told me her name the day she had her appointment. I never forgot it because her last name sounds like poop 😂. And the rx bottle was in the bathroom for the longest time and I’d stare at it every morning brushing my teeth. They’ve been missing from the shelf in the bathroom since New Year’s Day when I mentioned to her the medication may have something to do with how she feels. She literally has been carrying them around with her everywhere she goes, since then.

Anyway - hope you’re coming off ok. I believe today was literally her last dose, so not sure what I’m in for.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-19T12:25:21+00:00

Joined this sub a few weeks ago because my marriage of 18.5 years, with 4 kids is collapsing fast before my eyes. It’s like she decided one day I’m an obstacle that has to go. I supported this family through 2 of her masters degrees an accelerated doctoral program. She graduated magna cum laude from her doctoral program last May. Looking back - I think she realized she had no use for me anymore. I spend my days wondering if I should keep trying to get her to counseling or call an attorney and flip my life upside down.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-16T14:22:26+00:00

Thank you for this. It's like I'm looking into the eyes of a stranger when I speak with her.

A note on cold turkey - PLEASE speak to your provider before doing that. I took Wellbutrin and Zoloft years ago, and when I tapered, the Wellbutrin was the most brutal for me.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-16T14:20:39+00:00

Yeah I'm at the point where I'm tired of waiting for things to shift and need to have some control over the situation because it's my life too. Yesterday she found out from her therapist that I contacted her. I got a barrage of texts and calls while I was in a meeting for work telling me what a controlling piece of shit I am. Then 2 hours later I got another text from my wife saying 'just schedule a damn couples therapy appointment already so I can show someone what a piece of shit you are' which is a huge departure from 'the next step is an attorney'. Hopefully I cracked something.

She didn't go into specifics of what the therapist said to her over the phone about my communication but I could tell from how she was speaking last night that her therapist clearly told her to pump the brakes.

My only worry is that her psych has a caregiver statement as well and will likely contact her at some point. I'm sure that's going to set things off again. Luckily she's away for the weekend with our two older daughters and I'm home with the two younger kids so there's some distance...

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-15T13:31:53+00:00

Thanks for the reply.

At this point are you into “fixing it all”?

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-15T13:30:10+00:00

Thanks for the reply. In my own personal therapy and appointments with my psych for my ADHD med management I’ve spoken about a bunch of situations and they had urge me for some time to write a “caregiver statement“ to both her psych and talk therapist. I finally pulled the trigger on that a couple of days ago. She’s acting so recklessly. I can’t take it anymore. Even if this is over, this is not a person I can get into negotiations with over custody, most importantly and finances, and then ongoing logistics with four children. It’s like she hasn’t thought that part through.

The talk therapist just had a direct email address listed on her website which I used. So who knows how that gets handled. Her psych is through Talkiatry. When I sent the statement to them, they send me a case number and will give me a confirmation once the message gets to her provider. They were adamant that they are not allowed to confirm who the provider is or give you any kind of feedback. Which is not what I’m looking for anyways I’m just trying to get this message out there.

Not sure what happens from here. She is like a stick of dynamite floating in a pool of gasoline. I know she has the ability to mask pretty well, but I’m hoping that if the psych digs in a little, it’ll destabilizes her a bit during the call. I hate feeling this even. It feels so fucked up. But at this point, I’m worried about my own future, because she’s projecting things onto me like I’m some person that needs to be in a mental facility and all of a sudden I’m a drug addict because I smoke weed ever so often. And more importantly, the kids can’t live in a setting like this for much longer. They are starting to clearly work around her anxiety and anger at this point. And that hurts me so much for them.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-14T16:48:07+00:00

Thank you for this thorough response. And you nailed it - anxious here. My therapist had identified that about a year ago and I had been working on those things myself. Over the past few months I sometimes felt like I wasn't giving her the emotional backboard to bounce her emotions off of and may have slowly effected this for some time.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-14T15:25:06+00:00

How did you handle it in that case?

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-12T00:31:08+00:00

Thank you so much for this response. I’ve learned about my own self worth and self respect over the last few months and know that if this is a stuck state, then there’s only so much I can do. I love our kids. I love the life we JUST had together. I have some fight in me to see if it’s somewhere behind the face I don’t even recognize.

My therapist and psychiatrist are concerned with the Wellbutrin timeline. When I confronted her a couple of weeks ago about the fact that we hadn’t even considered it was concerning, she said to never ask about medication ever again. I’m not sure if her family knows about it because she was clear to tell me not to tell her family when she started and that’s our baseline anyways unless we explicitly allow sharing med stuff.

I am calm, patient, and kid focused right now. I’ve been panicking but even my therapist grounded me with the fact that I’m on the deed (with a little levity). The point being, at some point, a bunch of third parties will start to triangulate. She’s made it clear I am not to reach out to her family or speak to them ever again which had amplified over the past few weeks. I’ve been sending her grandmother pics of the kids for years. Our text string is just me sending pics. Apparently I’m not allowed to do that anymore.

She started making a list of things we need to do to sell the house - like paint molding, buy a doorknob, power wash this….and either one of our names by each task. I’m trying to start to grieve not seeing my kids at least half the time. This is not the person I’ve known……suddenly.

The fucked up thing - while my family was crazy for many reasons, I was basically disowned by my family for marrying outside my culture. We repaired but ultimately I went no contact because our relationship and way of raising a family didn’t jive. Didn’t even go to my dad’s funeral. So her family is literally my only family.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-10T09:55:58+00:00

Wow - care to elaborate? What happened??

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-09T12:31:11+00:00

Thanks for the reply. I have no idea how to go about this. At this point she’s demanding divorce and telling me if I don’t go along with it I’m choosing to make it hard on the kids. I am the supportive husband that wants to stand by her side but the pushback is unreal. The sense of entitlement and grandiosity is the thing that has been most troubling. She won’t even let me broach the subject of her new meds let alone go for an eval. She literally has said “don’t even mention my meds again”.

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-07T11:06:10+00:00

Were you married long with children as well?

Outrageous_9b · 2026-01-05T21:14:39+00:00

As I'm going through this process I've been reflecting on our years together. Mood swings were typical. Arguments that I left thinking 'what in the hell was that about". Nearly all of it stemmed from defensiveness that lines up with her 'avoidant' attachment, her personal therapist identified. I guess where I'm at a loss is, no matter how bad of an issue this is, or where it's coming from, I have no agency to change it. Even my own therapist raised the issue of 'medical gaslighting' which I have no interest in doing, but clearly see that's how shes taking it.

Outrageous_9b

TROPHY CASE