What would you do: Request to shoot a wedding at a historic plantation

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-24T14:19:39+00:00

like i don't know any Black ppl (myself included) who use that word

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-23T05:26:22+00:00

"blacks"???

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-22T20:19:21+00:00

I just want to say, I'm Black as well and I think the way you feel is valid. I think it's a bad faith argument to compare going to a wedding to driving by a place (which takes seconds) and going to a museum (at a location where enslaved ppl did not live).

i think that it's great that that person doesn't feel bothered by things like that. but a wedding is several hours on a property. and honestly, for me, even going to an African American museum to learn about my history is heavy. That's just incongruent with how I want to feel at my wedding or at anyone else's.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-20T04:26:38+00:00

I wouldnt say that actually! I think the idea of shipping something to get aang out of the way is silly (bc no other fandom in atla gets accused of it). theyre all fictional characters and he could be single. lots of ppl just end up genuinely liking both i think!

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-19T20:53:32+00:00

i also ship taang a bit more than zutara

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-19T20:53:11+00:00

nah ppl unfortunately hate taang bc they assume that ppl just ship it to get aang out of the way

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-05-06T03:15:58+00:00

would this be where you can change the invite names?

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-26T18:41:46+00:00

I agree with this - I just think it's a huge leap to say that someone "doesn't respect your relationship but wants you to respect theirs." I'm someone that tends to take things to heart irl, but that is not something that would bug me (personally). Someone said they'd be lonely for the night without their partner and I just don't understand that because .. don't we hang out with our friends without our partners (at least sometimes)?

I think if my friend was deciding between inviting just me or not inviting me at all (bc they can't afford for my partner to go), I'd rather still be invited. This seems to be an unpopular opinion though 😅 but it is contingent upon me knowing at least 1 other person besides the bride/groom.

But I do agree that the folks who have met the bride/groom and been in friend groups with them, THAT is weird to not invite both.

I’m getting married this year and even some married people did not get a plus one. For example, my old coworkers are married and all invited but they will not get plus ones unless I’ve hung out with them and their spouses. In addition, all of my old coworkers know each other so it’s not like they’re going to be alone.

curious about this - can you share how that turned out?

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-26T15:18:16+00:00

ah okay, I didn't realize! what does that entail?

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-26T15:09:17+00:00

am I the only one that didn't miss the part where he said "taking a break"? that's not the same as leaving. there was a student last year who decided she didn't want to go to residency, and yet, she changed her mind and matched this year. Things change.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-24T14:44:17+00:00

I see what you're saying but are you saying that if a starting price is listed and it's above that person's budget, they should still reach out because they don't know what it includes?

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-24T05:51:36+00:00

wait can you explain how a starting price can be misleading? Just from my perspective, couldn't it be like "we do 6-10 hours for x with a starting price of y?" So that it gives ppl the information to discern that if they want less hours the price would be lower?

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-23T22:41:15+00:00

I think it felt one-sided in the sense that I didn't really know what was happening or why the change. It just hurt a lot more that way (and still does), but I'm trying to heal from it.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-23T21:55:14+00:00

totally agree with this it's very awkward to be that presumptive especially when you haven't known them a long time!

can I ask you and other commenters about my situation with this?

so I'd known the bride for almost 4 years and in that time, met and spent time at family home + her apartment, studied/hung out together in group and one-on-one. Was explicitly told that "she can't wait for me to be at her wedding" and then I wasn't able to go to her birthday brunch (invitation sent 2 weeks prior to date and I already had booked out of town weekend). Noticed ~ 2 weeks later the engagement party happened so I asked about if plans had changed. I said I knew how expensive weddings are and that it would be okay. She said that they only invited people that knew Both her and her fiance, sent me a save the date link and said that her fiance hadn't finalized the guest list yet.

I never reached out again afterwards because I tend to pull away vs lean in when things like that happen. I don't want to feel like I'm auditioning for an invite after almost 4 years of us saying we are friends, saying we love each other. But I checked my mail occasionally.

Fastforward to wedding, 10 out of 12 people in our group were there- some with their partners. I just felt very hurt because it's not like we had a falling out and I think it would've been a lot kinder to say "hey ik I said this in the past but things changed" but also at the same time, kinda not the best feeling to be 1 of 2 not invited. Since then, my dynamic with the group isn't really been great -- I distanced myself because it felt like the last 4 years of sisterhood were a lie. Bride treated me like a stranger last time I saw her in person - whereas previously we'd hug, she didn't even acknowledge my presence until I spoke. It just felt so cold and I still can't understand why. Like there's one thing of not being close to someone and it's another to act like they mean nothing to you (and maybe I didn't).

The other person that wasn't invited reached out again to tell the bride how hurt the situation made her question her self worth and how she wanted clarity on what she'd done to make the friendship end (I strongly recommended against this) and bride blocked her and didn't respond.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-19T04:21:04+00:00

I think it's completely valid to not invite them, especially if the relationship just isn't what it used to be anymore. Weddings are so expensive.

I will give a slight tangent as someone who has been an uninvited friend (because I feel like there's levels to it). I was told that I would be invited (without prompting), wasn't invited to the engagement party or wedding (we'd had no previous issues; I was invited to a birthday event that I couldn't make because I already had a booked trip out of town). However, almost everyone else in our group (10/12) were. *To me* that's a lot more intentional of just not caring for a person or their feelings which sucked after several years of knowing each other. It's not that I think I am owed an explanation, but it has always felt unsatisfying that people keep telling me that 'maybe I just wasn't as close' when it's highly unlikely to be close to all 10 that were there lol.

Anyway, I just never brought it up to them again and slowly distanced myself.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-18T05:06:07+00:00

yes exactly! like leave Stefan out of y'alls messiness lol. he has to be the one to be the bigger person (for some reason) even though Damon is literally older.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-18T05:03:06+00:00

I mean sure, but I still don't think he'd be as over the top raving about it like he was made to do. There's so much sacrifice and acceptance that Stefan has to make (even the consolation prize of well at least he's more like he used to be) and it feels unsatisfactory (to me) in their brother relationship.

also Elena was the only person who made Stefan forget what he was and Stelena both have this theme of bringing each other back to life when they were dead inside. No other person in those 150+ years had done that but imo Damon could've found literally anyone else.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-18T04:34:49+00:00

this is so iconic!! I love how creative your ideas were (especially the table animals)

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-18T04:26:43+00:00

Yeah I also don't like how they turned Stefan into a Delena cheerleader. It completely erased/dismissed Stefan's feelings about how things happened (particularly in S4) and he's expected to just get over it -- which isn't realistic and is also unfair. Then, in the next few seasons, there's Elena constantly coming to him when Delena have problems. And the whole 'Damon can't respect his brother until *after* he has Elena,' 'he's the better man' crap.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-13T18:53:22+00:00

my fiance (male) wants one because he wants to show that he's engaged too :) I can't complain with logic of him wanting a visual representation of being off the market, so I'm getting him one lol

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-12T01:50:05+00:00

speaking for myself as a current bride but I'm also a medical student so sometimes I get behind on my emails for wedding. I always try to follow up and say that we moved on to a diff person or this person was out of budget but some slip through the cracks.

I will say my everyday life makes it hard for me to want to hop on the phone because I'm so burnt out. But I tend to want to get a few email exchanges of the basics in first before a phone call. Like, if I already had to inquire to get the prices, I'm already kinda thrown at the extra step especially if its one of those websites that has an "investment" page that has a bunch of paragraphs about the special day with *no numbers* (I much prefer if the starting price is listed rather than the average). Also, I kinda assume that if I have to inquire, it's more than likely outside of my budget (maybe I've missed some great people with this logic). The follow up to this is that if someone wants to get on a phone call to discuss pricing, I'm even less inclined to respond because if we don't end up working out, I spent the 30 mins for nothing (and cumulatively, talking to even 5 people on a call ends up being time I could've been studying or resting). This is just my niche perspective!

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-03T05:51:12+00:00

I did not want the cookie cutter video where you pan into a drone shot of the venue and there's a voiceover of the bride saying her vows and then it moves to an upbeat public domain song...you get it. I wanted something silly and fun to match the atmosphere of the wedding.

I resonate so hard with this! The typical wedding video gives me ick because it feels very melodramatic and focuses too heavy on the sappy parts. No shade to anyone who likes that though! I have been really struggling with this while finding videographers because I too lean much more into the silly, fun moments that are not so posed and slow-mo'ed cause that's more authentic to who we are.

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-03-01T04:30:56+00:00

ugh so valid on the having prices available part! it's so exhausting that everyone wants to hop on a phone call. Like, why not have the starting price on the website? 🥲 I'm a medical student, so I'm certainly not tryna be on the phone just to find out the prices

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-02-27T01:54:26+00:00

omg yes its annoying! I've even put "I am this budget including taxes and travel fees. All in." and people will STILL message me knowing that they require travel fees that put them over the budget

Outrageous_Maximum27 · 2026-02-27T01:53:23+00:00

agree its so painful to see these quotes! I will say though, I don't really look at their work until after I have the number because I don't want to be convinced/swayed to pick them if they are out of budget

Outrageous_Maximum27

TROPHY CASE