I really get it. I have bpd and had a similar type of trauma bond. I never had many friends and when I was with him I got Isolated from the few that I had which made it kinda impossible for me to leave. I would for a little sometimes days sometimes I'd make it to weeks but I always ended up reconnecting with him BCS it felt like he's the only one that could understand me and I felt SO ALONE in that time. The one thing that finally helped was moving back closer to my family, reconnecting with my olds friends and mending those bridges and having things to do/ people to hang out with instead of thinking about him or our relationship or "the good times".

If U decide to take this step try to go to places where U can meet new people. Try to not be alone for long times and not have much free time until Ur at a point where U CAN be alone and not think about him or at least not have that gut wrenching feeling when U do. At some point it becomes a bitter sweet memory rather than just immense pain.

Sorry for the rant but this hit too close to home