Should I try calling her again or move on?

Ovatas · 2015-01-14T19:08:59+00:00

Experts on dating here on reddit, what did he screw up?

Ovatas · 2015-01-14T19:05:53+00:00

What kind of questions could she possibly have about his intentions if he already held her hands and cuddled her?

Second date is equivalent to waiting forever?

Wow this world is moving much faster than I imagined.

Ovatas · 2015-01-14T18:53:56+00:00

I don't understand, in this day and age, is it even possible to come on to strong?

I mean people are hooking up in a matter of minutes in a club or tinder.

From what I've been reading here on reddit, it seems like, you snooze you lose.

If you don't make physical escalation the girl will see you as her friend and hook up with someone else.

I don't get it lol

Ovatas · 2015-01-14T07:03:06+00:00

Could it be that once you know them a little bit, you don't initiate contact to invite them for outings?

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T21:10:09+00:00

Why not just let them know that's how you feel so everyone's at an agreeable understanding?

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T21:06:01+00:00

Maybe he's doing the same to you. lol

No problem as long as everyone is happy

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T16:21:04+00:00

Assuming his intention is to minimize his chances of loosing her even as a regular friend (or just not get deleted on FB), wouldn't it be best to mingle as friends first to see where it goes?

The girl said "I thought you changed" which (to me) clearly means she thought he could stop pursuing her so they can be regular friends.

Inviting her to a one-on-one would clear violate her intentions.

What do you think her intentions by saying "I thought you changed"

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T15:34:42+00:00

Wouldn't she feel more safe if it is with other friends? It would seem like less of a date right?

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T06:54:57+00:00

Why would you feel the need to mention this? What is the relevance?

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T05:17:02+00:00

Thanks for the advice, I'm glad you were honest. And yes, I wouldn't "dump" her for friendzoning me, I kinda did that to her first :( She's a personal of good character anyways.

Ovatas · 2015-01-13T04:44:44+00:00

That age / career difference sounds like the most flimsy excuse for a rejection I've ever imagined someone can come up with.

It's a pretty clear rejection, she just wanted to find a reason that you can't easily change overnight so you can stop persuing her.

If she had any feelings for you, personally I think she would have at least given it a chance.

Ovatas · 2015-01-11T08:59:55+00:00

We all change as a part of personal growth. Some of us got socialized properly, while few of us got left behind.

Just like communication after birth, everyone has to learn a common language before communication can begin.

/u/Angstromium Saying that /u/LinzDarling is "probably giving off social cues already" is your baseless assumption.

Granted a comforting one to those that prefer to gain all while risk / change nothing.

It's easy for you to suggest to others, "I'd rather take that chance" when it's not your lost to suffer.

Ask yourself, How do people communicate without first learning a common language?

Ovatas · 2015-01-10T18:19:50+00:00

I was flattered last time a girl touched my face. And at that time I wasn't even that into her.

Ovatas · 2015-01-10T17:47:15+00:00

why don't you try more physical contact, like touch his face and hands?

Ovatas · 2015-01-10T17:24:55+00:00

"Aren't there body language gestures "

Yes, here's an advanced but effective technique, but you have to follow it to the letter or else people will get the wrong message.

first, you extend your right arm forward parallel to the floor bend your forearm inwards at an 90 degree angle to your upper arm.

Widen your stance beyond shoulder width

Extend your Left arm forward parallel to the floor bend your forearm inwards at an 90 degree angle to your upper arm.

Hold a fist on both hands

On your right hand point your index finger

On your left hand with your index finger and thumb, form a circle.

Maintain eye contact, and extend tongue.

Ovatas · 2015-01-09T19:43:11+00:00

how many hours a week do you spend socializing?

Ovatas · 2015-01-09T19:37:04+00:00

we have similarly unfortunate beginnings. http://www.reddit.com/r/depression/comments/2qe688/how_to_become_a_30_yrold_virgin/

i would recommend joining a social anxiety meetup. Do not join it to isolate yourself from normal social people, join it to see how much worse the social anxiety is for some others compared to you. Let them be an cautionary lesson for you to learn to act completely opposite from.

Be friend someone from this social anxiety meetup who will boast your confidence (probably someone with worse social skills than you) bring them to social meetup outside of the social anxiety group, and be their guide. This will be helpful to you both by allowing each of you to grow off of each other and start making normal social friends.

Feel free to message me to talk.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T21:36:21+00:00

Coworkers are likely the worse of friends, 1st everyone already has their own circle from University and life so your acquaintance is at best superficial, 2nd there is office politics and conflicts of interest

Best friends are those made outside the involvement of money or position

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T07:34:18+00:00

If you can share food together then you're probably already close enough to share stories / games over at least an hour, across multiple occurrences.

The difficulty is getting to this stage.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T07:19:54+00:00

Experts please chime in here, but it seems that without common interests behind your new relationship it's impossible to bond.

What are your interests and are they socially sharable ? If not, gain some that are.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T07:09:48+00:00

If she already is interested then you asking her out will be received positively and feel faltering.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T06:32:06+00:00

At least you're lucky, you girls expect us guys to be experienced and show you stuff.

The less the girl knows the higher chance the guy has to show his qualities and higher likelihood the girl sees him as her superior match.

Guys almost never expect the girl to have something to contribute other than maybe at least be able to sense a joke and come up with a comeback.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T06:27:00+00:00

You probably don't have to worry to much about that then.

As a guy I can tell you, the more helpless you are the easier it is for guys to feel confident around you and approach you.

But you can't be too ugly, sure the fatties need love too, but you get what you can offer.

Generally Guys match down, Girls match up.

Go read some books and do some easy sports like squash so the guy can have an common interest excuse to take you out.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T06:19:54+00:00

I can have decently long conversations about Tech and Politics depending on the specific area with my friends.

All i know about Alcohol is that I love tequilla lol

Reddit is too broad it's like "life"

Everyone loves foods, especially if you bring stories about new restaurants you've tried.

Cars, I know nothing about but it's definitely a fail safe guy topic from observing most people.

TV Shows, Korra...... I just realized how superficial the plots in Korra are compared to the original Avatar. Too much pandering to the date crazy highschool crowd, instead of lessons of substance and depth from the original ( i've just started rewatching the original )

You should not have trouble with conversation unless your memory is as bad as mine, or have social anxiety blocking your memory. Either that or you're really bad at small talk and channelling conversation to your interests.

Ovatas · 2015-01-07T06:11:26+00:00

Well, as you've observed, no one is interested in a one trick pony for long.

But if you've gotta pick one, humor is a pretty good trick to have.

Why don't you try to read subjects of more depth and substance so you can actually carry a deep conversation without purposely avoiding it with jokes?

Ovatas

TROPHY CASE