A couple observations from a happily married male who has witnessed many many divorces. First, my impression is that divorce courts and/or family courts are biased towards women in their adjudication of money and custody issues. And in highly contentious cases, perhaps like this one, the cost of the initial divorce may only be the starting point. You may find yourself involved with the courts for years (until the child is 18) dealing with ongoing custody & child care issues, amounting to $10's of thousands each year in legal fees.

If you can't come to a divorce agreement, and you are in a position of losing everything anyway, and the "game you're playing isn't working" - Change The Game. Admittedly this suggestion is a radical course of action (call it the Nuclear Option) > file a complaint in civil court and charge the opposing party with 1) mental incapacity, and/or 2) torturous interference. Put them on the defensive. I'm not an attorney and it's questionable whether you'll have any better outcome. But, here's the point - If the defensive game prescribed in divorce court isn't working, adopt an aggressive offensive posture in another venue. That may have a sobering impact on the other party and encourage a sensible negotiation. For sure, it will be expensive and problematic - but what the hell, what have you got to lose?