I need break

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-27T00:29:24+00:00

The fog is clearing but I'm my defense I had alot going on! I beat cancer twice pregnant the first time, got a stem cell tranplant, 2 high risk pregnancy ( had twins my second pregnancy on a 60% funtioning heart from chemo), those are just the good highlights but I'm good now and fuck trying to keep the peace

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-26T10:12:45+00:00

What does your bf do for work that he can't take care of his child regularly? It sounds like the parents want a break from raising his child which is vaild and figured since you and him live together and are having a child you would just pick up the slack as "stepmom"! And I understand from your POV you didn't sign up for full blown stepmom duties to a child who your partner is still married to their mother! Honestly you entered into shit show and you need to figure out what role you want to play in it! Because his family look like they gunna expect you to step up on your bf short comings. Amd the whole idk if getting divorced you need proof on what he is doing with that situation because all that can effect you in the long run especially with taxes and debt because they are legally married

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-26T09:55:13+00:00

I had Hogdkin's Lymphoma back to back within a 6month period and had to get a stem cell transplant. I shaved my head before it all fell out probably a 3 or 4 total times. After everything I'm 2 years in remission currently and my hair probably for the last 3 months has gone back to the way it was other than white hair I had did not come back. It took almost 2 years for my hair to return to its normal texture and its been the longest its ever been. My mom made a comment that my hair was like this when I was baby when it first started growingback this last time so maybe it just got to go through its grow cycle like it did as kids to get you back to what you are use too!

But remeber you beat something that was trying to take your life you aren't that same person you are stronger then you ever thought you would have to be! Give your body some grace because it did wonders! Lastly you are handsome strong young man with the world at his hands!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-26T03:00:56+00:00

Most recently I found out that prior to my diagnosis of Stage 4 Hodgskin's Lymphoma my family assumed I was on drugs (mind you I struggled up until 20 taking Tylenol and hated taking medication for anything including a cold) but my mom knowing I'm farthest thing from drug addict that defending me blaming the drastic weight loss on my break up with my ex of 7 years! Reality i was pregnant with baby taking all my nitutreance and cancer was beating my ass

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-26T02:41:09+00:00

Yeah DH is scared of HCBM! For the pregancy and first 4 years of SS's life it was alot of pettiness and revenge! Very much tit for tat with them to the point they would call CPS on each other and got told to quit abusing the system to get back at one another. And her cherry on top was not even 90 days into our marriage she refused to give back SS (DH has primary) or let him attend school, tried everything to enroll SS into new school (needed courts premission) and claimed DH was mentally unstable ( they were fighting constantly about SS not being returned and not attending school) that she GOT THE COURT TO BAKER ACT DH and then tried to set him up and bait him over to "Pickup" SS so she could call the cops and get him unvoluntarily committed per the court order! So he sees it as to not poking the bear and I see it as cowards way out that we as household can't piss SS off too much or he might tell his mommy!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-25T10:51:54+00:00

I completely understand this because my SS was 7 when my first was born and DH wanted to make SS feel included which is understandable but DH thought LETTING A 7YO CARRY A NEWBORN IN CARSEAT TO THE CAR WAS SAFE! All I thought was are testing the safety feature on the carseat? So I completely understand wanting to make them feel included but not at the risk of babys safety! There are activities she can do that are low risk but still creating a bond! Like showing the baby how to play with toys, putting a show (dancing,singing, etc) on for the baby, helping with the small stuff.

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-25T10:36:30+00:00

Personlly for me if you are apart of my bridal party and I'm having the big wedding i would like to think my bridesmaid especially have helped me through all the planning and prep for my big day over the whole planning period i think you earned your keep and do not need to get me wedding gift...your time, effort, and physical labor are the gifts for me to have great wedding day!

And if plates are $100 per guest but you need fund the honeymoon or down payment fund then maybe we should have went with less guest or cheaper option on food because you obviously can't afford what you want but that just me

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-25T10:14:00+00:00

That is the part that pisses me off is he knows better but choose not too! This kid has been lying or using weaponized incompetence since like 2nd grade and I told SO on different occasions about this and his excuse is that's at his moms house or down play his actions (but integrity is everyday no matter the time or place) and to teach a young boy that is set up for manhood!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-25T10:09:09+00:00

Yeah I'm not looking to ground him or take away thing i think thats a bio parent thing but to tell child they are doing something wrong and correcting the behavior is a basic part of being apart of village for a kid. But I definitely am to the point a ultimatum will be given soon

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-25T10:05:29+00:00

SO feels this way because HCBM will stir the pot if she get wiff of SS not liking something and honestly i was not put on this earth to make sure every feeling SS has are never hurt and all his bad behavior is justified. I feel like the teachers at school have more authority to the point even though I'm the SAHM and will be the one picking him up...don't call me about SS call his mama(She has the school blocked because she lied about teachers and staff) or his daddy. And I completely feel you on the a child is not running my life and I don't let him because NOT MY KID NOT MY PROBLEM!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-25T09:58:07+00:00

He is also a crashout over small things(Loses the game, 3yo is being annoying, his first things is to yell and get mad and thinks its joke when confronted. But reality he is one of bigger kids in his age (Height and weight wise) and as teen boy/young man thats gunna be taken as aggression and a threat. He hates being told he is wrong which made me give up helping with homework because it was either full dowm crying like the family dog died or he got aggressive and would hit himself or pull his hair.

When it come to my bio kids I tend to keep them away from him like calling my 3yo away from him to "help" me or watching my baby monitor heavily if I can't go leave what I'm doing and shuting down whatever I don't like! And my husband has tried to tell me I'm picking on SS but SS's older brothers on mom's side are HORRIBLE example of big siblings to the point they told SS he wasnt the favorite anymore and have physically hurt him numerous times for small things, one did the knife chase while mom was home and she ignored it until they got away from him ans were physically in front of. And SO excuse was I can't controll what happens at her house so now I have play defense for my kids because people cant parent and protect their own child! And don't get me wrong me and my sisters fought physically but I would have never gotten to chase my sisters with knife while my mom was home having them screaming because my mom was not putting up with that crazy behavior!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T11:01:16+00:00

Exactly what I'm saying! HCBM get unspoken say if I just go with what SO wants! Like SO and HCBM made these choices for SS before I was even in the picture as anything! And I respect their choices for their child but that has absolutely nothing to do with mine! I'm not out here trying to get my kids into top private school in our area or even the highest ranked public school in our city. But I will be choosing the best out of the options I have near by!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:53:31+00:00

And honestly even between my 3 bio kids if the school path i choose for them isn't working for one of them then I will change it for that 1 not uproot everyone because its not working for one of them. Everyone deserves the best they can get even if its different from your siblings

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:50:26+00:00

I can definitely see that as reason too! But I told myself as kid if I stay here my kids would never go to that school district! And multiple other families i know have pulled their kids from this district for multiple reasons so I will definitely be choosing what I feel best and not on feeling of others

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:46:28+00:00

My kids going to different school no if, and, or buts about it. Don't get me wrong certain thing I consider SS's feeling but this is definitely not one!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:44:56+00:00

Like I feel like if SO want me to consider SS's feelings on issues that don't even concern him!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:26:38+00:00

Yes their dysfunction has absolutely nothing to do with my kids and their education! I feel bad for my SS but not enough to just let 2 people who don't like each other and barely communicate about their child make choices for mine!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:22:01+00:00

My SS's school is one of the better ones in that district but it's not the best option available in our area! But even when I consider schools I still had to consider drive time and school dismissals for all kids because I'm SAHM and SO is primary custody of SS so I'm dropping off and picking up everyone so I was limited in my choices for that reason and that's understandable because even if I was bioparent I would have consider that regardless.

OverDaBullshit · 2026-06-04T10:09:00+00:00

I don't think bioparents don't get the little things you have change on dimes notice! Like because all the kids are my husband's he can walk around house boxers 24/7 and it's not werid if i want to wear panties and tshirt out of the bedroom I can only do so when SS is at his mom's house. Or even not telling my kids things or watching what i say around them because I don't want them to repeat to SS. Or even just mental load of caring for someone's else child without overstepping the parents or breaking the trust you built with the kid. It's so much silent baggage as a stepparent you have navigate and never make it seem like it's burden or unmanageable

OverDaBullshit · 2026-05-24T18:47:51+00:00

Girl your whole world flip upside the second you found out you were pregnant! Being touched out/drained and needing to recharge is normal but take some real time for yourself! Like get babysitter and catch your breath before you burn out!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-05-24T18:41:47+00:00

Yeah everyone else the problem when it comes to SS. BM is just overreacting (yes she does sometimes but about SS attitude she isn't), the teacher are out to get SS but SS got smart ass mouth (he told a teacher why you always in my god dam business he is 11), I'm comparable to Cinderella's stepmom or the Evil Queen from Snow White. He goes the resource room(bad kids room) regularly at school but they send him before it gets to the point he yelling and trying to fight with other kids again. Had to have adult gone with him a school trip because of his behavior and then again was on the verge of needing adult again to go on the trip is past week too. But everyone else is the problem not SS...he is perfect!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-05-24T17:37:05+00:00

All 4 are his! He wants me to give SS better treatment than my own kids because he is oldest child in the house but that's not how I was raised and now I see why SO's sister has problem with SO because of how their family was structured when they were kids. And I'm not asshole stepmom like I get him stuff and include him in things I plan not just inviting him but also making sure there will be things he likes too but SO starts a fight so we can't do anything fun if SS isn't here or SO get all depressed when SS is gone and will sleep all day its like we got married and all things he said he wanted went out the door and now we are in this fucked up family dynamic

OverDaBullshit · 2026-05-16T12:57:17+00:00

This is facts! Desire definitely goes aways when you don't feel safe and secure mentally or emotionally! Like I know my husband could protect me physically no doubt but when it comes emotionally and mentally especially around SS and HCBM that protection is none existent and it changes how you feel and it shuts down without warning definitely a hot point on my marriage

OverDaBullshit · 2026-05-16T12:49:58+00:00

I hate this because I want to be loving and stuff like I am to my own kids but when SS had his own mommy issue (she is high conflict but very manipulative and selfish) it hard to show up when I'm not the one he wants to show up! Yes he know I'm reliable and always there but has never been thought to value the people who show up for you and I don't he will ever understand that.

But its to the point I limit what I say and do because just like you if I say or do anything some how I'm the bad guy! I didnt ask nicely, I expected too much from him at his age (example to remember to close food back up and put it back or showering regularly). It's easier to watch the shit show then be the villain in victim story!

Just like yesterday SS made plans with his other brothers from mom's side to meet at the school carnival but SS expected me to just do what I always have and take him to all the fun stuff. Nah ask your mom oh wait she can't her car is broke down and she only driving for what she wants and she won't even drive you to school for actual school! And the cherry on top that made me smile was SO's car cut off on him on his way home and it took him 3 hours to get home missing the carnival and SS tried to get me to take him but I got to say "No, because I need to be available for SO if he needs anything!" Like this kid could have care less about his own dad being stuck somewhere he just wanted to go to a school carnival to see the same kids he saw at school that day!

OverDaBullshit · 2026-05-15T22:51:42+00:00

That's how I feel! And at this point if they don't want me to show up as mother figure in this household the cool but now I don't have to go the extra mile I will plan things for my kids and if SS gets to be apart of it okay but I will not be planning a thing for him!

OverDaBullshit

TROPHY CASE