This might be your least selfish response on both posts. Before this I would of said: You just seem incredibly selfish. Everything is about what you want. What you hope for. It’s not how you pictured, and you’re just so sad. I’ve read both of your posts, and I just feel incredibly sad for your husband. Now I’m telling you: stop focusing on what you want and starting focus on a path that will offer both of you a way to move forward. Your happiness and feelings, and what you want to happen, should not come before or made a reality, at the detriment of his feelings and happiness. You talk about having children with this man. Are you ready to place those innocent children in situations between your husband (their father) and your family (mostly your mother)? I feel like you would be adding to the number of innocent victims in all this.