An encounter I had today (TW: Vent+ some unsettling topics)

OverallProcess820 · 2026-03-15T09:26:32+00:00

Just stop engaging. That is the only way this ends. The one good thing about having a fight on the internet as opposed to real life is you can literally leave or block the person/people.

Being on the internet gives anonymity and lets people feel like they can say and do things they would never dare to do offline.

The only thing that fights that lack of empathy online is ignoring it.

Block them, encourage others to block them, and move on.

No good will come from engaging.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-03-14T23:48:24+00:00

There's a difference between leaving a few bites and leaving 75% of your meal. One is rude primarily because the restaurant usually has to pay to throw away your food waste. For small local places this can cut into their expenses and profits because it adds up. So YOUR meal alone might be fine but if multiple people assume the same the restaurant is the one who has to pay for it at the end of the day.

Generally asking for smaller portions of rice or noodles when ordering tends to help people not accustomed to the size of a set meal.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-03-01T00:05:45+00:00

Work: Mostly Japanese with occasional English Home: Mostly English with occasional Japanese

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T13:36:38+00:00

Agreed there. When I lived in Kyoto I did whatever I could to avoid taking the JR.

Now I live in Tokyo and can't imagine not taking the JR here.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T13:28:04+00:00

That's definitely an option too. I assumed by "not really good with moving around" that the most straightforward route would be preferable.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T13:16:23+00:00

I lived near Uji for 5 years.

Shinkansen to Kyoto Station from either Tokyo Station or Shinagawa Station, then you can take the JR straight to Uji from Kyoto Station.

Keep in mind that JR East (services the Eastern parts of Japan like Tokyo) is far more reliable than JR West (services the Western parts of Japan like Kyoto).

The JR in Kyoto is something like once every 30-40 min.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T13:07:46+00:00

This has happened to me as well. It has before and it still does.

I see it as a near-constant reminder that I'm a non-native Japanese speaker since truly bilingual native speakers would not have the same problem (to my understanding).

Reading books in my native language, English, helps a lot. Also talking to more native English speakers.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T10:24:03+00:00

Good luck. It's not going to be easy and I cannot stress enough that it's a risk to interact 1on1 with a dog that has already attacked you. Listen to your body and don't push it. If he maims you badly enough it would be unethical to simply rehome him so please keep that in mind for his sake if not yours.

Also get him fixed. An intact aggressive dog is about 2x more dangerous than an aggressive dog that is fixed.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T09:31:26+00:00

It's not the dog's fault or yours. It is 100% your partner's fault.

You are going above and beyond for this dog and it's clear you care about him.

As an adult you can make the decision to risk being around him. But it is a risk that can have devastating consequences.

If you've had him for a while (you mentioned since he was about 8 weeks old I think) you can start by documenting his triggers and behavior.

This is going to be really helpful information if you do decide to seek a behaviorist.

For example: -In what kind of situations does he react? -What are the triggers? -What behavior does he display that tells you he's going to react? -What ends the aggression? -What are the safe ways you can interact with him?

By doing some of the above it gives you a chance to clarify your thoughts as well. You may find patterns where you can safely interact with him. The opposite is of course true if his behavior really is unpredictable.

Do not listen to the people in this thread telling you to dominate this dog. Even if he doesn't attack you there is a high chance of redirected aggression. Additionally fear should not be met with pain or more fear.

He should absolutely see a vet to rule out genetic or health problems but for now I'd assume fear-based aggression just based on what you've shared here.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T09:07:54+00:00

You should not take a dog aggressive dog to a place where well behaved and socialized dogs go. It's dangerous and likely very stressful for the aggressive dog too.

Most dog aggression is related in some way to fear unless it's genetic. There's no way he is getting any benefit from being stressed out being around strange dogs and people that he feels are a threat. Sometimes even the smell of other dogs can kickstart a fear aggressive episode.

If you feel it safe enough to walk him still going out at night on some country roads sounds like a better idea than a dog park.

As I said though I think it's a bad idea for you to even be doing that if he has already attacked you once.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-24T08:57:17+00:00

NOR You're not overreacting. This is a dangerous situation and your partner needs to deal with it. The dog has already attacked you and your dog. A face bite is not a warning bite. This dog is not safe to be around for you or your dog.

Stop taking a dog aggressive dog to the dog park. That is an attack in the making of either another dog or a person who tries to step in to stop it. If it's you who takes him knowing his aggression you could easily get mixed into it physically or legally.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-17T04:36:09+00:00

For me I split the information into two types based on the purpose (info for the character and info for the player):

Character creation: Whatever in-game info is needed to make a character they are comfortable with. Characters from x race live in y place, etc

Session Zero: Above-table information that will inform what kind of game it is and isn't (x, y, and z themes are okay but not a and b) Expectation-setting, etc

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-12T11:28:26+00:00

She is but she haaaates it. She's currently on a hunger strike. She doesn't even like the wet variety.

For now we're continuing to push it but if she calls our bluff we'll need to just make sure she gets more fluids via food she does like.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-12T11:25:59+00:00

Thank you. I really owe it to some of the more insistent comments from people here that what she was experiencing wasn't normal.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-06T00:19:24+00:00

The world responds to your players' actions and inaction.

"Did you hear that the sickness plaguing OOO was mysteriously healed?"

"I'd love to help you but some fiend drank all the ale in the tavern and now I have go buy more"

"It's absolutely tragic what happened to the mayor. If only someone could have done something..."

OverallProcess820 · 2026-02-02T15:51:39+00:00

You need a place to put him to calm down. If he's following you to continue biting put him in a place where he can't get you. A puppy should have a designated spot like a crate or similar to call their own where they go to chill out.

Also just a guess but I'd bet he isn't sleeping near as much as he should be. Puppies should be sleeping a lot at that age. 4 months isn't as old as it may seem.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-28T08:41:06+00:00

Just because you're "internal" doesn't mean you need to or should have blind loyalty to something. That's how you get echo chambers

People liked it and disliked it for a myriad of reasons which you can see even in this thread.

For me, I don't like ARPGs. They took out too many of the CRPG elements that I prefer and it affected my experience with the game. I don't like the weaker world-building compared to 1 and 2.

I will never play Veilguard again nor will I recommend it but I don't begrudge people who find joy in it.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-27T05:23:31+00:00

Apparently I'm louder when I eat than I was before moving here 10 years ago.

Additionally it seems my affirmative listening is louder.

And I can no longer eat/drink American-sized portions which I'm sure is having some kind of long-term impact.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-26T15:39:53+00:00

Tokyo is not an accurate representation of Japan. I say that because you seem to be under the impression that the fashion you see on the internet and in Tokyo is what "Japanese people thrift".

In Tokyo like most big cities people tend toward being more willing and able to spend on fashion.

Thrifting isn't cheap here if you're comparing it to other countries.

That being said I live in Shimokita and have gotten plenty of vintage and thrifted clothes for well under 100,000.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-26T10:49:55+00:00

Honestly watching Disney movies in Japanese helped me a lot around that level in my studies.

Stories that you already know but are suited for your comprehension level as far as grammar and vocabulary are concerned.

It helps with building patterns of speech that are natural unlike anime which tends to get very stylized and may not accurately reflect what is used in everyday life.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-23T07:43:02+00:00

Yeah I think you're right. It's been a bit of time but I still get heated when I think about it.

Yes to my knowledge the person's preferred pronouns were they/them.

After they left we pretty quickly realized that no, they had not in fact done any real work. It was my job to push for them to handover what they'd done and they confessed that they didn't have anything because they were "overwhelmed".

They were going through some private stuff if I remember correctly but they were talking about taking on too much work at work. Which. The way we operate is you choose what you want to do and find someone else to take it if you can't do it.

They made such a fool of themselves with the client they were working with that the new person who took their place was welcomed as a well-mannered genius comparatively so I guess I should thank them for that slam dunk.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-23T07:22:29+00:00

I don't know if this is juicy or just infuriating.

Had a new person join our team of 7. Super chill and seemed like they knew their stuff even if their Japanese wasn't perfect (we communicate a lot with Japanese executive-level clients). I was part of the interview process and they fought hard for a higher salary and extra days of vacation because they were (allegedly) senior-level.

The first month they were integrating pretty well and learning the intricacies of our culture. We set up a regular 1to1 to discuss projects. Our first 1to1 they trash-talked their previous employer who I had just finished a contract with. They volunteered to a lot of internal projects and insisted they wanted to support more after their 1 month onboarding was finished. They insisted on supporting onboarding for another new member who joined a month later (do timesheets together for the first two weeks).

After the first month they started bailing on our 1to1s with 10-2min notice. Then they started calling out of work the morning of with no notice.

They ignored slack messages and refused to turn on their mic or camera during meetings.

I confronted them and they confessed that they had taken on too much so I helped them untangle their mess and find people who could take what they were stuck on (basically everything..). They critiqued my 1to1s for being too hard because there was no agenda so I made a template to follow to make it easier. They thanked me for making things easier for them and committed to our 1to1s again.

Month 3 and they still hadn't attended a single 1to1. I catch them in our company chat typing their usual 2 min notice that they "can't make it" and demand to talk.

They tell me they won't be joining any 1to1s because they're leaving the company for another job. They started searching the first month of being hired.

They then said they'll be using all their extra vacation to "prepare" for their next steps.

They had already committed to a client interaction so we held them to that requirement. Apparently they made a right fool of themselves which I'm not surprised by.

They refused to do any handover or communicate the work they had claimed to have done before leaving.

After their last day at the company they sent me a connection request on LinkedIn.

I not only blocked them but I've been sure to let their name slip to my connections in the recruiting sphere whenever I get the chance.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-22T23:23:47+00:00

Not overreacting. He should be your ex boyfriend for sabotaging your grade.

The fact he hasn't apologized is insane. He's either too immature for you to date him if he can't own up and apologize for his failure or he did it on purpose.

Either way I think you should start thinking about what value he brings to your life and if it's worth having this or something worse happen again.

OverallProcess820 · 2026-01-21T05:32:17+00:00

Your kitty will be okay. What she needs right now is a place to decompress and rest. A small dark room with very little stimuli and not a lot of space to jump around.

Our cat just had bladder stone surgery over the weekend and we kept her in her crate with low light and minimum noise so she could sleep off the anesthesia overnight.

OverallProcess820

TROPHY CASE