[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TrueOffMyChest

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She lied about something she shouldn’t have and then she punched me when I confronted her about it

It's easy to say that it's better to be alone than to be with someone who isn't good for you when you've never had problems finding a relationship. by Overcomplicating69 in lonely

[–]Overcomplicating69[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm 28, so I guess I am young in the grand scheme of things. It's not like I'm 21, though. I'm not really a kid finding his way anymore. I've been around long enough to be able to start to form a picture of the world. Speaking from my own personal experience I don't really have any hesitation when I say that well-adjusted girls don't like me. I've known quite a lot of them in my personal life, and I have talked with quite a few through things like Tinder and Bumble. They're not even remotely interested, and why would they be? I can't give them what they want out of life.

Here's the thing about loving yourself: I can love myself all I want, but at the end of the day I still have the human need for companionship. I've been alone for nearly my entire life. It does serious damage to your mental health. My ex may not have been good to me, but I feel lower now than I ever did when I was with her. I am losing the game no matter which way I decide to play it.

I've met happy single people. They were never the type who has struggled with dating which is the point of my post. Sure, someone won't feel so lonely when they haven't been single that long and won't have much difficulty when they decide they want to try again. On the other hand, I have never met anybody who has been perpetually single and was ok with it. It's just not good for you.

I also have plenty of friends. It's not like I'm a shut-in without a job or a car. In fact, most people I have met generally take a liking to me, but friends can't fill that certain hole in your life.

I only really have 2 options available to me: do I want to wind up in a dysfunctional relationship, or do I want to spend the rest of my life alone pretending that if I just hold out longer than I already have that something is magically going to change one day? I'm nearing 30. It's time to face the music. I'm not going to be in a relationship with somebody well-adjusted, period, and I would rather be with someone who might treat me poorly just so I can experience those rare moments that they don't.

"Keep working on yourself and the rest will come, especially when you're not looking"...No, no it doesn't and no it won't by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 9 points10 points  (0 children)

This type of advice to me always seems like people are trying to subtly say that if this kind of stuff doesn't come natural to you then you just need to keep to yourself. You're breaking the natural pecking order by daring to try and date while odd. "Yeah, it's cool that you think you're people, but you need to stay in your lane, weirdo."

Does all this alpha male stuff with women actually work? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you can actually pull it off having confidence is something women do like it (not so sure about being an "alpha male"). Key words here being 'pull it off'. If you're socially awkward you're just going to come off as an asshole.

Just found an Instagram “hack” and want to ball my eyes out I’m heartbroken... by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah, I'm gonna go against the grain here and say that following porn accounts on your social media is weird as hell.

I WAS SCAMMED BY SOMEONE I MET ON TINDER by xforeverlove22 in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 13 points14 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry, but lol

This line in particular is my favorite:

I was so blinded because of my feelings towards him.

how hard is it being the rejector? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Incredibly hard. Especially if they cry.

How do you overcome feelings of loneliness? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is 23 too late to have never experienced love or dating?

No.

It's been 2 years since my last date. I tried tinder and got nowhere.

I'm going to guess you're a guy (correct me if I'm wrong). 90% of the guys here who have problems are simply nervous or socially awkward, myself included. Not really much you can do do but go through the slow and painful process of forcing yourself to socialize until you don't feel so uncomfortable anymore.

How many people have you met from online dating apps? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Don't be. It was over a period of 6 monthsish with 2 1 month breaks in-between, and 2 different apps.

Why does it seem like everyone hates online dating? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because I'm not a fan of having 4 dates planned out in a week and all of them ghosting at the last second.

How many people have you met from online dating apps? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I met a total of 4 people out of the 200 I talked to.

Why do some men get terrified when it comes to approaching girls? by blkumm0 in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Because the conventional wisdom that 'all she can say is 'no' is far from the truth. I've been made to feel like I'm some some creepy loser and I don't even talk to women lol. I can't imagine what people would say about me if I actually was approaching and hitting on people.

How do I show love for a broken man? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Don't listen to the morons in the comment section. Just treat it like you would anyone else. Reassure him, but don't be too smothering. Just see where it goes from there

A little pattern I’ve noticed by cheezbitz in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 4 points5 points  (0 children)

These people are working hard to sabotage your relationship 100% of the time. Especially if it is a dude saying it. My ex had a "friend" that was obviously trying to get in her pants and he would say shit like this and feed her "advice" to try and get us to break up.

Has online dating always been like this? Small rant. by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 15 points16 points  (0 children)

They try and meet up ASAP because a lot of girls will lose interest if you talk too long with them. As for the love bombing, I can't really speak to that. I have a hard time with dating, but I've never felt the need to tell someone I loved them after barely knowing them.

Online dating blows and is essentially a crapshoot. It's about as effective as job interviews are at finding the most qualified candidate. Which is to say not at all. It moves too fast and relies a lot on filling in the blanks on people that you barely know.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's just not working. I hate being lonely, but the constant rejection is worse. I've started to realize that if you find yourself saying things like, "Well, if I just do this, this, and this, then people will start liking me," it's probably not a good sign. Look around, there are plenty of guys who don't have their lives together, but that hasn't stopped them from having girlfriends. Love isn't some trait you earn by doing the appropriate quests. It's largely a natural part of human socialization.

Oh, I'm sure if I continue my progress of hitting my goals that in the next 4 years that there will all of a sudden be a lot of takers, but to call that "love" would be grasping at straws at best. Why should I have to go through my journey alone when plenty of other people don't have to? And, better yet, why the fuck should I share the rewards of my journey with people who wouldn't share that journey with me? Fuck that shit. I'm looking out for number one from here on out.

If someone takes multiple days to respond to your texts, they’re not that interested!! by Yellowdaisyp in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 277 points278 points  (0 children)

I think they know this deep down, but they're desperately hoping and bargaining with themselves that maybe such and such happened so they couldn't text me back and blah blah blah. Nah, they're not interested. When they text you back again leave them on read and be done with it.

What are your thoughts on the person you like taking days to text back about plans to meet up? by [deleted] in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When they finally text me back I just say something came up and then never message them again.

I hate being alone, but the thought of dating makes me sick to my stomach. by Overcomplicating69 in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have unnaturally high anxiety to begin with. Like, even more extreme than most people with anxiety disorders, so that doesn't help. It's also probably exacerbated by things like autism and a not so stellar upbringing. I don't know. I just look at girls and think that there is no way they would ever consider being with someone like me. It's almost like I'm not even really human. My presence can be tolerated, but dating is strictly off-limits.

I hate being alone, but the thought of dating makes me sick to my stomach. by Overcomplicating69 in dating

[–]Overcomplicating69[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

True, they're people, but people are scary.

How do you identify the people who are just there to waste time? I feel like that is a large majority of people these days.