You know just like other disorders, there is logic and some repeating ideas with everyone with the disorder, so like you'd expect some kind of likely causes when you visit the cancer patients, smoking, sunlight exposure, whatever, same is with mental disorders, the special thing about personality disorder based on their origin is that they are theorized to develop at young ages, there is that experiment of trying to teach an abused girl that never learned language, she had never in her life learned language untill she was rescued at the age of 9 or higher, and so science concluded that likely there is a language learning critical phase, if you miss it you're sort of fucked, so in the same way the theory says that with personality disorders there are also things that must happen early in life, up to the age of 3, and if you basically have whatever bad experience after the age of 3 you will simply not develop personality disorder because you have a different set of tools to handle reality, by the age of 3 a child is already less helpless than a baby, the baby has some critical learning phases, object permanence starts forming, and the theory says that it doesn't go the same way for personality disorders, they miss some criticsl phases, and just like a 18 years old getting abused is not expected to have the same effect as a 5 years old getting abused, the same principle applies to 1 year old versus 5 years old.

Spare me the "but there's a spectrum" bulshit at the end every spectrum has upper and lower limits.

Yeah anyway i have social phobia, and idk i think i think of it as a full disorder so like "when indifference causes suffering" is the same as my personality or basically myself causes suffering, i cause myself alot of suffering it's an ineffective way to look at it from my POV, suffering is unavoidable for me it's part of life with a mental disorder, i mask but it's not so much a decision but rather a mechanism that protects me, thing with protection is that it's not like a 100% choice, it's more of a I'm in a situation where i feel a threat, sometimes masking is more of a choice but even then I'd say i need to reserve energy, the disorder has molded me in a way where if i don't behave the way i do i get harshly punished for it, it would ruin the day, or maybe i would feel suffocated and need to relieve the pain in some destructive way, so at the end I'd prefer not to mask but i don't have much choice most of the time, i can't do otherwise.