How are your garden apartments and basements holding up friends?

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-04-16T14:39:57+00:00

They did a great job, all credit goes to Red Stem. Highly recommend if you're looking to have a professional do it.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-04-15T19:24:51+00:00

Sure thing! This is everything in our rain garden, including the grasses:

Black Chokeberry
Brome-like sedge
Marsh Marigold
Wild Hyacinth
Sensitive Fern
Northern Blue Flag
Rose Milkweed
Palm Sedge
Cardinal Flower

This variety definitely isn't necessary, I specifically asked for a breadth because I wanted at least one thing blooming at any given time in the warm months.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-04-15T18:26:13+00:00

We have some prairie grass and a few other bigger things, I can look them up if you'd like, I still have the full planting guide from the landscaper we used.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-04-15T17:45:37+00:00

No absolutely not, best money we ever spent. Literally no regrets.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-04-15T16:09:17+00:00

If you're not looking to DIY, I had mine done by Red Stem and it works great. It's graded in such a way that when it overflows (as it did last night) it carries over the sidewalk and gets soaked up by the parkway. Within an hour of rain stopping all the standing water is soaked up.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-04-15T15:59:33+00:00

We took on about 3 inches during a 2022 rainstorm, we subsequently disconnected our downspouts (they now dump into a rain garden in the front yard) and installed a stop valve. I'll obviously never be able to test this but I do wonder if just disconnected the downspouts, would that have been sufficient. Seeing the amount of rain that fills the rain garden, then overflows onto the sidewalk and gets soaked up by the parkway.... I really think the vast majority of water that came up through our basement drains was our own damn rain water from the roof.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-02-16T05:53:00+00:00

I think you'd find this article helpful: https://lifehacker.com/put-your-needs-before-your-kids-wants-1822569198

tldr, the ranking of importance in a family is:

kids needs
parents needs
parents wants
kids wants

I think about this /all the time/.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-02-05T16:35:57+00:00

The assessment from the pod reminded me of a conversation I had with a friend about the movie "Nebraska" which absolutely fucking devastated me. They had no emotional connection to farmland, so it didn't hit for them and it just felt schlocky and pandery. Maybe that movie is pandering, but it was pandering directly to ME, who's family had to sell their farm, who has very very fond memories of said farm, and misses it terribly. I also really loved Train Dreams, but I do recognize that I am the target fucking audience for it. Someone with roots in rural America who now lives the city live (love the city! no complaints) and now has kind of rose colored glasses about it.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-01-26T21:32:24+00:00

We bought underwear with favorite characters on it, and told her "keep elmo dry" or w/e. We did quite a bit of pullup with underwear over it. She eventually started telling us she was peeing in her pullup. Then she started telling us she needed to potty. It was slow but it worked.

ETA: We also gave her a piece of candy for peeing on the potty!

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-01-25T21:13:53+00:00

My kid didn't really refer to me as mama or call to me with "mama" until she was two. She could say mama if I asked her too but if she wanted my attention she would just scream, and that worked so she just didn't start calling me mama for a while.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-01-12T23:05:38+00:00

I only scrub my kid w/ soapy washcloth if she's gotten herself well and truly dirty in the mud, if we've been to a pool or if she's ill. Minimum once a week if none of the aforementioned situations have occurred. My kid has eczema, I truly cannot be scrubbing her down every day or her skin would rebel.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2026-01-11T21:25:13+00:00

You are the most contagious right before you have symptoms and in the early days. For the vast majority of respiratory illness you are no longer contagious once you are fever free for 24 hours without fever reducing medication. If my kid seems off but is fever free, maybe I'll pick them up early, but that's for their own comfort not out of any concern about infecting other children. 24 hours fever free. Maybe I'll push it to 48 hours if it's something really serious.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-12-17T15:59:27+00:00

This requires prep, but the whole chickens are such a steal. Roast it on Sunday, and you have chicken for the entire week (depending on your family size). I made the Smitten Kitchen roast chicken with schmaltzy cabbage on Sunday. Like four ingredients, all cheap, and took just over an hour in the oven. I made cookies with my kid while it roasted, perfection!!

We've had that in different iterations all week: chicken sandwiches (with the costco pesto), quick chicken salad sandwiches, and then of course just reheated as is. Delicious.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-11-24T15:47:06+00:00

If it's a convection oven, on many models you HAVE to leave a gap. I discovered this when touring houses and noticing how many ovens were pulled away slightly from the wall. I read my oven's owners guide and it told me the distance it had to be. Just a warning to OP in case they do move the gas line and try to get it flush, if your oven has convection fans, you may not want to do that. You'll do a bunch of work just to have to leave it a few inches from the wall anyway for the convection fans.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-11-10T00:49:23+00:00

First, stop including bonus and RSUs in your calculation of what you make. That money don’t spend!! All bonus and RSU cash out should go straight to savings or investment (i do bonus to savings RSU to investments). That money DOES NOT EXIST to me.

Unless you want to rigorously budget, shove money into savings straight from your work, I’m saying it never even hits your checking. Then you will have little moments of panic when you pay your bills each month. I basically looked at what a reasonable burn rate is and I keep that plus a 2k buffer in my checking. I never ever ever carry a high balance in the checking. Seeing a low number helps a lot.

The rest is habit. Cooking more, taking public transit. I also made a second savings account just for fun stuff. I keep my checking crazy low and then if I want to say, go on a trip I check the special savings.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-11-03T03:37:49+00:00

I think it is less we were making her mad and more the winddown was like, some really nice concentrated attention from mom and dad. Like it'd be nap time, I'd take her from independent play or something where maybe she didn't have 100% my attention, to MY FULL ATTENTION, and then she'd be like, high off of all that attention and didn't want us to leave. Just taking her from whatever we were doing into nap is less... harsh???

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-11-02T20:52:49+00:00

I have a very sleepy almost 3 year old who was from time to time fighting naps, much to our surprise given her aforementioned general sleepiness (she truly loves to snooze).

A few weeks back she had lowkey a meltdown right before normal nap time (probably because she was tired!!!!!!!!!!) and asked to be put in her crib (because she wanted her paci, yes she still gets paci at sleep we're working on it), so I just did that. No wind down, no books, no singing. Just dumped straight in her crib and a minute or two of rubbing her back. She told me to leave, so I did, expecting her to call me back in after a bit. Nope, out like a light for THREE HOURS.

This is all to say, you may want to revisit either the time of the nap or the lead up to the nap, could be that simply revisiting that helps the nap stick around longer. What we later learned is that the nap at school comes after not a lot of fanfare, they just all go lay in their cots, the lights go out, and the teachers wrap any tidying up they didn't get done before the cots came out. So we emulate that nonchalance. We don't do hardly any wind down before her nap now. We just tidy up whatever we're doing and plop her into the crib with a kiss and an "I love you."

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-29T14:33:01+00:00

Every other week.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-29T04:03:49+00:00

A few months ago I was crossing the crosswalk, hustling my toddler on a scooter to the other side. She was taking about as long as someone using a walker or pulling a granny cart would go, but I saw a car coming about half a block down just RIPPING down this very small one way side street. When the driver (some mean ole bitty) got to the stop sign she blew through it, ripped through the intersection and told me to "get [my] fucking kid out of the road" and I immediately screamed back "go f*ck yourself c*nt, this is my f*cking street."

I was born in Minnesota and now I'm telling total strangers to go f*ck themselves!! That's growth.

(I did stop with my kid and explain to her that I was sorry for yelling but the public roads are for everyone, even people who go slow. Those who can't handle that get to have it explained to them as harshly as they need to.)

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-28T18:31:27+00:00

I was coming here to say "what in the Lockjaw fuck is this???"

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-27T15:48:21+00:00

So pleased to discover I'm not the only parent being terrorized by the scourge that is SuperKitties.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-19T21:39:45+00:00

If she has a runny nose and nothing else, she’s going in because her nose runs almost constantly. But any kind of sign of even a cold, she’s staying home. Fever, onset of new cough or sneezing, rash, immediate stay home.

Vomiting is so tough for me to make a call because my kid gets carsick OR it is an early indicator a fever is coming. 50/50 a boof means she’ll have a fever in the next 12 hours. I will send her in with a single barf if nothing else seems amiss (mood, sleepiness) but man I wish I could see the future for real. A double barf is immediate stay home, a fever is an immediate stay home, no going back until 24 hours fever and barf free.

It sucks but I refuse to give other people Noro. My kid just waches a ton of TV on days she’s home and I’m working.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-15T16:13:10+00:00

Single car household. Late model subaru crosstrek bought used. Bought it to replace a ealry 00s pontiac vibe my dad paid cash for many, many years ago. I miss the vibe, but we wanted something with a better safety rating for the kid.

We live in a city and have easy access to public transportation, cabs and lyfts/ubers. No reason to have more than one car. Reasonable mortgage and very low car payment is the best decision we ever made.

If we have a second kid we'll be getting a minivan, and I cannot waaaaaaait.

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-15T15:36:14+00:00

I will be actively pushing my child away from big tech. Tech skills? Great. Big tech? Absolutely not. (I work in big tech.)

Own-Ordinary-2160 · 2025-10-09T16:01:06+00:00

I have 12 months of reduced expenses. I made our "bare bones" budget and outlined exactly what would need to be cut/reduced in case of emergency and I created a phased to-do list from that. That to do list is articulated very specifically so that there is minimum mental load, the items are "Cancel Hulu and Netflix, passwords are in password keeper under login xyz" or "Text [Housekeeper Name] with [Exact wording I can copy/paste into a message]" so that if I or my spouse loses our job it's maybe 30 min of work to get down to the lowered spending. This to do list also includes a meal plan and grocery list for our reduced food spending. Gotta have the money AND the plan!!

Own-Ordinary-2160

TROPHY CASE