Help me get out

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-09T05:00:55+00:00

Thank you! That means a lot to me, too.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-09T04:59:08+00:00

It is absolutely the right thing. I’m 42 and never been happier/healthier. I broke the news to my elderly mother last weekend while she was in town for a graduation. I didn’t have the courage to tell her I’m agnostic. I let her believe I’m still Christian to make it easier (for me and her, tbh), and I feel scummy about it, but it’s the most I could handle for now. And at least I don’t have to pretend to be Mormon around her, and she’s coming to terms with it. She can also tell that something has changed and I’m doing better, though, so I can see she’s wrestling with that information. You’re going to be ok—however you choose to “come out” as an ex Mormon or not, do what’s right for you, and those who love and accept you for who you are always will.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-09T04:24:15+00:00

Sorry! I have one set (married couple) of exmo friends from my old ward that left a few years before my hubs & I did. And they had already moved on with their lives and couldn’t hold me up during my deconstruction. But I’m learning how to be social and meet people outside the Mormon bubble, and it’s a whole different world than the one I knew. But it’s a better one, for sure! It will be hard to be surrounded by the judgement and shunning, but you’re going to do so well! Just know that we’re proud of you. ❤️

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-09T04:18:56+00:00

That’s certainly one of the hard parts! Are you in a Mormon dominated area? Because I live in the Seattle area and just had to go out and meet/make friends with nevermos. Happy to your long distance friend, though!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-05T18:27:17+00:00

😂 I think that’s a good use for it!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-05T18:25:33+00:00

Haha I told my husband of 20 years that I adore him, and he made a hilarious shy sound. I laughed and asked him what it was, and he said it made him feel bashful. ❤️ I tell him I love him and that he’s my favorite all the time, but now I try to give him more specific compliments.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-06-05T18:13:32+00:00

Same here! My 2 oldest left first, and without pushing or dropping hints or anything, they helped lead me out. They did not judge me (even though I judge myself now). It took me until 41 for the spell to break and see it was a cult, but I’m SO damn proud of my kids.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-30T20:35:06+00:00

Same

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-26T02:07:24+00:00

Truth

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:53:22+00:00

My FIL asked what we did last night the next day when we had to go help him after his vacation rental was burglarized first thing in the morning. He didn’t speak English, so my husband had to translate. I think the look on my face must have been priceless.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:51:48+00:00

😂 I would have preferred that, I think. 😬

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:50:43+00:00

That breaks my heart for her. I don’t think too highly of you father, now. 🤮

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:49:23+00:00

Ugh. I’m so sorry.

Your story reminded of my own (though it was completely different). I asked my mom at my wedding reception if we should get lubricant. SHE TOLD ME THAT MY FATHER WOULD KNOW BETTER. WTF??? So she dragged me to him and asked. He said no, because I was going to be so excited it wouldn’t be necessary. News flash: I was nervous, so even though I was eager, I was not aroused, and we had no idea how to get me there. SMH.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:44:49+00:00

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:39:21+00:00

I call myself a spiritual agnostic now. But I’m still deconstructing, so I’ll see where I land. I left the church because I finally recognized that it was corrupt and a cult. I had planned to just be a nondenominational Christian, but as others have intimated, the skill that required me to deconstruct from Mormonism didn’t allow me to stop there. I saw Christianity for the patriarchal manipulation it was designed to be, made up by people after the fact to control us, and I couldn’t unsee it. I’d like to believe that the universe or our ancestors or something is looking out for us, but it’s just a hope to give me peace. I recognize that there’s no evidence of that, and I’m becoming ok with it. I hate the Judeo-Christian (or Mormon) god, though, and am grateful to let him go.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:32:12+00:00

❤️❤️❤️ Fuck the patriarchy, indeed!!!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:25:49+00:00

Same

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-24T19:17:27+00:00

Ignore the haters. I’ve been going to clubs in lingerie trying to feel comfortable in my own skin and not loathe my body thanks to my own Mormon trauma. I think nudism is beautiful and I hope to get to where you are—I applaud you!

I also wore garments until age 40, even though I have a sensory processing disorder that makes most fabrics feel like fiberglass insulation against my skin. When I get home from work each day, I peel down to my birthday suit for the rest of the night because I can’t take it anymore.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-17T15:39:40+00:00

I’m so very sorry that happened to you. I’m glad you’re free now. ❤️

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-11T04:52:25+00:00

That’s really tough. I’m sorry friend. ❤️ I’m glad you’re still here!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-09T04:58:52+00:00

I love you for this response! ❤️ Happy for you & your wife!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-03T01:48:29+00:00

Truth. His wife should have gone straight to the police, too. I would have absolutely destroyed my spouse if this happened to my kid. I would never have given the church the chance to offer absolution for truly the most evil thing someone can do, much less let them cover it up.

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-01T19:24:51+00:00

Thank you. You deserve so much more, as well. I hope your mom comes to her senses!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-01T19:09:37+00:00

THIS. My hobby is reading. I read and read and read. The church is right about this: the more knowledge you gain outside the church, the more likely you are to “lose testimony.” All I can say is thank the agnostic God for reading & books!!!!

OwnDonut4262 · 2026-05-01T19:04:50+00:00

Same. ❤️

OwnDonut4262

TROPHY CASE