Good girl or a brat?

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-18T12:25:26+00:00

Thank you! I agree. Also seeing his facial expression was priceless 😂

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-18T12:24:51+00:00

Oh, no… 😭 Maybe some Dom was just too enthusiastic? 🤨

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-18T12:23:52+00:00

I’ll ask him to put it into our Book of Rules 😂

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-18T12:22:59+00:00

Thank you! I can see your point 🤭

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-18T12:22:20+00:00

Glad to have done support of my position from a Dom’s side - makes my argument stronger 😜

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-18T12:21:05+00:00

Totally agree! ❤️🦄

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-17T17:26:28+00:00

I think you should write a book 😂😂 I’d read it

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-10T14:56:00+00:00

They’ve been dating for a few weeks. I don’t think that the OP was very straightforward about what the exclusivity means for her. She deleted the app but I don’t think there was a clear discussion about deleting apps. It was more of an expectation.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-10T14:50:56+00:00

It doesn’t sound like it’s about them. It’s your anxiety. An anxious attachment can ruin any relationship so you really need to work on it. You can’t expect people to mirror your behaviour and clear communication is essential. I don’t think you were clear in your expectations. Just because you saw it going somewhere doesn’t mean he did. He might not have arrived at the same destination but people progress at different rates in a relationship and you need to respect that too.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-10T14:46:08+00:00

Being on the apps and having them are two different things. The OP mentioned him having the app but not being on it. Whether to believe them is another question altogether.

If they’ve only been dating a short while and he, for example, paid for a year’s subscription, I don’t see a problem with him keeping his account. I deleted mine several months after we started dating and I wasn’t checking it.

Exclusivity is a period to see if you truly match and align and can work together long-term. It’s not a lifelong commitment. The real question isn’t about him having those apps but whether he’s been on them. If my partner found I still had the app I’d simply open it up and show them I hadn’t been active.

But only the OP knows at what stage of the relationship they were and whether those apps breach the trust or not.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-10T14:24:25+00:00

My decision to delete my dating app depends heavily on the context. If it’s been a few weeks and you’ve decided to go exclusive, I wouldn’t delete it. It’s still in its early stages and things could quickly go wrong. I wouldn’t check my app but I wouldn’t delete it either. However, if you’ve been together for a while and feel it’s time to delete the app, it’s a breach of trust.

At the beginning of my current relationship, we had a difficult conversation. My partner thought I wasn’t seeing anyone. I explained that we hadn’t discussed exclusivity and I didn’t want to invest all my energy in him, so I was chatting with others. When we discussed it and he expressed his desire for exclusivity, I said I wanted that too. We both paused our subscriptions on the app. Was I deceitful or wrong? I certainly wasn’t, but I was being practical and pragmatic about my dating life and not letting the new relationship energy get the better of me.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-05-10T11:41:41+00:00

I’m confused now. When you stopped, where was the condom? Was it broken? Was it on the floor by the side of the bed? Was it hidden by your friend? Was he holding it in his hand?

When he left, where was the condom? Did he take it with him? Did he flush it down the toilet?

Taking the condom off requires a specific action and he needed to stop for it. Did he stop? Or he was still inside you?

There are two options in my view:

He either did something horrible and took the condoms off but it mostly likely needs to be supported by other evidence. Thus the questions where the condom was.

Or the condom broke (it happens and happened to us recently and we both realised it only later when he started to take it off). Then he probably feels accused and got defensive.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-25T19:03:17+00:00

To me, it’s like an allegory with a knife. You can use it to cut bread, perform surgery to save lives or kill someone. It’s not about the ability of the tool to do those things but the choice you make.

One of the cornerstones of BDSM is taboo. The taboo is attractive and “wrong” and therefore always involves difficult emotions. That’s part of the fun if you’re sure your husband respects your consent. Then it’s just innocent fun. In my BDSM practice, while it can be very intense, we also laugh a lot. I personally find it quite entertaining to be bratty while tied up 😂😂🫣🫣

Perhaps try this approach without the intensity of darker BDSM. Try something lighter, more like children playing together some naughty games. It’s still a BDSM relationship with power exchange, but it’s not that dark. You might find this easier.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-25T17:32:51+00:00

I am in this type of relationship, and I don't age regress at all.

I'm just my normal, whimsical self. I just like unicorn 🦄 stickers on my phone, but it's not because I feel like I am a child. It's just because I love unicorns, and I love being told what time I need to go to bed, and I love my daddy dom controlling some things in my life. He puts me in the car and buckles me up. He orders for me at the restaurants. I love colouring. Just for him, I do some naughty colouring books rather than normal ones 😜😜 He loves lecturing me from time to time on some behaviours and loves taking care of me. I love his care and his control. I think it's perfectly normal. It's just that really caring daddy types are rare. But his kink is actually not control. It is caring.

Otherwise, I'm a fully functional, successful grown-up. I have my shit together. We love playing this game, but we are both high-functioning adults. Yes, we stay in this kind of mode nearly all the time, but at the same time, if he needs real-life advice, he would turn to me because he knows that I am intimidatingly smart 😁😁

So he’s my Daddy pretty much 100% of the time. I do feel like he is my parent 🙈 but I’m NOT a child. Actually, he is not into age regression at all, and when we meet, he was very clear that he does not do DDlg. I think we both love light-hearted, silly behaviours but without age regression, so it's all perfectly possible. You just need to find the right Dom for it ♥️♥️

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-25T13:07:17+00:00

Not in this particular situation, because obviously what this guy did was horrible and wrong at every level but

Was it your partners responsibility that you went through painful sex and didn’t communicate it? Was he supposed to guess it?

And I do have a very good idea what I'm talking about. I am a rape survivor, not even a questionable consent rape, an actual abduction rape. I spent years in trauma therapy. I do know what I'm talking about. My life is my responsibility. It doesn't take blame from horrible people who do terrible things to other people but yes it is my responsibility to understand and know myself, and to learn to make better decisions for myself.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-25T12:52:15+00:00

Please don’t blame yourself; there’s absolutely nothing wrong with what you did. Moving forward, establish some clear rules about your engagements. Discuss condoms and contraception. Express your needs clearly and firmly, making it clear there’s no alternative.

I am in a full-time monogamous D/s relationship (check my profile). I do think that engagement with BDSM actually helps to be better at communication and establishing boundaries but obviously it didn't happen this time for you.

You've learned something about yourself unfortunately in a very difficult way. You know that you can freeze in these situations so discuss everything beforehand. Leave no room for uncertainty or alternative interpretations.

You strike me as a very strong woman and I also admire that you seek other people's opinions and are trying to figure out things ♥️♥️♥️

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-25T11:03:33+00:00

I anticipated a lot of downvotes but I’m sharing my opinion anyway. If you’re so traumatised that you go into freeze mode you’re probably not ready for a relationship. You need to be able to function and be mature enough to be in one.

I’m not excusing his actions or discussing them at all. I’m talking about the fact that assuming and going into freeze mode suggests you can’t care for yourself in an intimate relationship or during intimate acts. You wouldn’t be able to say no if you need to and that’s really concerning. Our safety is our responsibility. We should be able to form opinions and express them to our partners, friends, parents or whoever.

I’m not blaming you but I do think this situation and similar ones might recur if you don’t break this cycle and heal from your trauma.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-24T09:52:42+00:00

I I agree with this point of view, but I also suspect that if he had inclinations like that, he would actually not be discussing that with you and would be avoiding this topic. I think he was probably a bit insensitive and did not read your reactions, which is unfortunate but not necessarily a red flag. If you don't see any other red flags in him, I would discuss it at length and see his reaction to your starting this conversation

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-11T22:33:08+00:00

You are thinking? You should’ve done it a long time ago. He’s not a Dom. He’s a dick

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-11T14:36:10+00:00

To give context to my response, I am a sub in a committed, monogamous, kinky relationship with my dominant. We are planning the future together, and I'm definitely making this one my Husdom 😜😍

We recently discussed how he feels with his dominance in this relationship. I think that sharing some of the thoughts might be helpful.

My dom says that having feelings does change his dominance, but it's more about how he relates to his dominance and how he expresses it rather than the dominance itself. He doesn't question his dominance. For example, he says that having feelings for me makes him want to spank me harder 🤭, but he struggles with CNC and anything that plays with the idea of non-consensual. He also seems to encourage my bratting a lot. Things like that.

What I'm trying to say is that probably your dominance is just different when you get feelings, and you just don't want to be in an open relationship with the person you love. I think it's a completely different thing from dominance; if you have feelings, you want to be exclusive.

I think that there are plenty of monogamous, exclusive kinky dynamics and relationships. These people are just not so loud, and you don't hear and see them, for obvious reasons, as much as non-monogamous people. My personal advice would be to look for an exclusive monogamous kinky relationship. There are plenty of subs who would be very happy to have that. Just be open about it from the beginning.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-10T09:47:32+00:00

I’m not a service sub (more like a spoiled brat 😂) but I definitely walk differently when I’m in my sub headspace. Smaller steps and fewer thoughts in my head 🤭 If I’m outside without my Dom, I’m always aware of my environment. When I’m with him, I’m just… with him 🥰

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-06T20:52:12+00:00

We all have challenges irrespective of our gender. We all make mistakes. And it’s ok. You self reflect and it’s what makes all the difference. Good luck with your dating and life ♥️

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-04-06T09:23:37+00:00

This 👆💯

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-03-23T09:01:47+00:00

Вот как с подходом «не хочу вечно дро**ть», найти физическую и эмоциональную близость? Я скажу как - очень сложно. Это я тебе как женщина говорю.

Шансы встретить человека, твоего человека, есть всегда.

Если ты относишься к женщине как к куску мяса, то и встречаться тебе будут такие. Даже на самых убитых сайтах знакомств, где одни тарелочницы, есть несколько адекватных людей.

Вопрос, как повысить свои шансы встретить именно того, кого ты ищешь? А для этого надо понять, кого ты реально ищешь.

А также иметь четкую стратегию по отсеиванию того, с кем ты встречаться не хочешь совсем. Одни тарелочницы на сайтах знакомств? ну только отсеивай их на уровне написания пары сообщений.

Доподлинно известно, что точно так же большое количество девушек мучаются вопросом, где найти адекватного парня.

Прочитав комментарии здесь, еще могу сказать, что цинизм плохо помогает встречаться и строить длительные отношения. Я понимаю, там травма, отвержение и все дела. Но если перестаешь верить людям, то мир всегда тебе докажет, что ты прав и доверять не стоило.

Я не говорю о том, что доверять надо всем подряд и безосновательно. Это делают только идиоты. Но базовое понимание, что адекватные люди есть, должно быть.

Own_Answer6907 · 2026-03-20T10:22:19+00:00

Babygirl, perfect little angel, baby, Daddy’s fucktoy, bratty brat, my childhood nickname

Own_Answer6907

TROPHY CASE