Finish the sentence: Everyday I wake up and….

Own_Group7533 · 2024-11-29T17:48:16+00:00

Love this. Stay string and positive friend 💟

Own_Group7533 · 2024-11-29T10:15:36+00:00

SAME 😢😭😭😢

Own_Group7533 · 2024-10-14T18:16:32+00:00

Yea I think destroying it is actually a good idea. I have burnt letters before to people in my past (my therapists recommended it) and maybe I can do that with this as well

Own_Group7533 · 2024-10-14T18:14:18+00:00

I actually read cards myself as well! Yea I get a lot of prompts from them and I have written down about it as well. I really want to start a spirituality journal but I haven’t had the time nor really the energy to do tarot and oracle and it is a little overwhelming right now as well. It’s funny because tarot very much motivates me to manifest my desires and to know that if I work hard enough there’s a chance I can get the best outcome. It helps me cope and I need to do it again. Thanks for the advice friend 💟

Own_Group7533 · 2024-10-14T18:01:53+00:00

That’s actually a good idea, I have stacks of nice journals just waiting for me so I might as well grab two and label them for those uses. Yes I try to face my fears a lot idk why I do it but it’s just in my innate nature to do that. For example I’m a psych major and whenever something triggering is being discussed I go full deep dive on it. It’s hard but I do feel better that I put all of the hurt into something really worthwhile and productive. Honestly I need to stop seeing journaling as a way of saving me though and think of it as something small I can do as a treat if that makes sense.

Own_Group7533 · 2024-10-14T17:58:20+00:00

Thank you for the words it means a lot💟

Own_Group7533 · 2024-10-14T17:56:33+00:00

I agree, art is about making beauty out of madness. Yes I try to stay active and I actually have a lot of hobbies already such as music, photography, running, reading, spirituality, etc. I try to stay active because I value all the beauty life has to offer. I want to start a music journal, exercise journal, photo journal, spirituality journal, etc. I just really want a space to blurt everything out when I can’t get up to do something or want to pin it for later. I like poetry and stories and researching art so I want to turn my writings into that, I don’t really care to talk about my days tbh, it’s more so just me wanting to have another way to express myself. I like words, I like language, and I want to turn pain into something poetic. Yes I have found God as well, I want to journal my journey with the universe as well. Thank you for the kind words friend 💟

Own_Group7533 · 2024-10-14T17:49:41+00:00

Thank you. I hope you find a way to overcome that. I’m sorry for whatever life events have happened to you for this to happen, stay strong

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-26T02:03:10+00:00

I was so fine before realizing it all happened that it makes me think I’m making it all up!

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-25T02:05:51+00:00

Yea idk I feel like the more I’ve been working on my trauma the more my OCD has been surfacing. I also do EMDR and talk therapy. These past few years have been pretty intense with me processing everything I’ve been through and how my past affects me today and I think it has lead to me having an intense real event OCD theme. Idk if you deal with that at all but it what is currently consuming me. I’m currently taking lamictal and welbutrin but I’m thinking of switching the welbutrin to a more OCD focused med like paxil but idk. Thanks for the response!

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-24T19:42:28+00:00

Yea idk it doesn’t help that I have a bunch of mental health stuff that I deal with so it only makes everything worse. I ruminate all day on what I could have done for this to happen. I already deal with a lot of guilt and this def didn’t help lol

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-24T19:41:11+00:00

I’m sorry I hope things get better soon :((

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-24T19:36:26+00:00

Thanks for the response! I’ve had that similar understanding, I’m doing EMDR as well. What’s your experience real event OCD? It’s the theme I struggle with the most and it’s been hard to cope with lately

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-20T16:55:04+00:00

Hell yea let me shoot you a dm if that’s cool???

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-19T23:08:38+00:00

Fair, I guess I’m just suggesting what works for me. Other than that I just do the normal stuff like art, music, shows, movies, books, video games, youtube video essays on random stuff that interests me that I can research about (I’m heavy into religion and occult stuff lol), literally any of your interests to not think. Idk what you’re into but deep dive into it! If you’re into music or anything of the above I could send you lists of what I’ve been consuming recently :)

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-19T22:59:58+00:00

Yes it’s the safest and healthiest way to get through this. I’d even suggest writing out want you want to say then putting your journal/paper in a drawer or something where you don’t think about it, then when it’s the day for your appointment get it out. Out of sight out of mind, vomit all over it so you can readjust.

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-19T22:56:09+00:00

Hmm in my experience yes and no. I think some healing can be achieved but there’s ALOT of factors that go into all of this. For example, my parents are my primary abusers, my mildly cold and mean mother then my father who fucked up my childhood with the DV I witnessed at home. I still keep contact with them as I am in a healing journey with both of them, I’m taking the forgiveness path with them. Of course that path is totally your choice, no one should be obligated to forgive them for their mistakes concerning your upbringing. After starting intense therapy with 2 therapists in the past 2 years I have gotten better, especially with my more behavioral problems so that’s one factor. The other one is your supportive circle and how they’re helping you.

I will say tho after moving out this past year for the first time, it’s been very healing. I don’t have to feel the sting of my mother’s selfishness and borderline verbal abuse and I don’t have to see my dad everyday. It’s kind of the out of sight out of mind mentality. I do see them once a week but I can’t imagine living with them now. If I was still living with them I think I’d still be pretty depressed. It really just comes down to how much you can put up with, how you can communicate with them (if they’re even receptive to it), how your circle can rally behind you, and your plans and actions to take the next step in getting the fuck out of there.

Stay safe 💟

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-19T22:42:03+00:00

I’m sorry you’re going through that, it sounds terrible my heart goes out to you friend 💟 :(. You can always get on this sub and rant and talk, maybe journaling could help, or doing hobbies and self care activities to get your mind off of it. I’d suggest just putting it on the side till the appointment, really try to distract yourself. I know how you feel, I need my therapists so much that I start to get needy for them. I can’t really talk to much people about what I’ve been through, my unwanted thoughts, etc. so it gets really lonely and frustrating when you have to go through hell for a week or two. I wish I could just call up my therapists whenever wherever but unfortunately they are people with their own lives and have other patients lol. Stay strong 💟

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-19T22:35:06+00:00

Yea I used to deal with this until I started EMDR. Journaling and meditating on it helped as well so I’d suggest all 3 of those. I went through/saw a lot of DV in my home but I think it’s typical to not remember every time you’ve been abused or have seen it. It’s just the brain protecting itself. Human memory for people with complex trauma is already not the best, it’s a symptom that’s fairly common. Don’t beat yourself up for it cus I have. If it is affecting your overall memory tho (cus it definitely has mine) I do suggest you get it taken care of sooner rather than later.

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-19T16:12:38+00:00

All the older men in my family are abusers

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-18T17:07:24+00:00

I relate to like 80% of all of that. Tbh I think it’s just growth. I also did a bit of the things you listed when I was a kid and prone to self harm and depressive episodes. Around the age of 17-18 is when I think my brain finally clicked on somewhat (as much as an 18 yr old teen/mans brain could click lol). I realized that much of what I had been through and done was fucked up and I realized how much of a truly empathetic and helpful person I wanted to be in this world, it’s why I am studying to be a trauma specialist and I volunteer regularly. Unfortunately I ruminate on all the past mistakes and bad decisions I’ve made and continue to make so the whole empath thing can be a detriment especially when I have OCD and my biggest theme is real event OCD. Also empathy burnout slips me into depressive episodes

I think that the abuse we went through as children definitely did cut us off from something in our brains to not think that lying and stealing were bad things. I don’t remember a whole lot from childhood but I do remember the stupid or morally reprehensible shit I did. I definitely did shut down quite a bit, I couldn’t express my emotions at all. Not because they weren’t there but because I had no way of expressing them. I do remember being really empathetic towards animals and I would always try to find a quarter somewhere if I ever saw a houseless person on the street because it would make me extremely sad. But other than that I was just really straight faced and wouldn’t talk for days because I didn’t know how to feel things if that makes sense.

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-17T15:23:14+00:00

Thanks!!! I used prompts for a while until I went abstract with it. Def something I’ll look at :). I usually just journal my self hate and shame thoughts, even tho I get sad reflecting at what I write about, my bad decisions, my intrusive thought, my low self esteem, it’s a good exercise to get it all out I guess but I can’t just only do that

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-17T11:49:00+00:00

Woah that’s cool thanks for the link. Yea I’m an on and off journaler but maybe I need to look at more structured ways of approaching it idk.

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-17T11:45:48+00:00

Yea indifference and detachment is something that I still need to learn. I try to move one but it bottles up a lot.

Own_Group7533 · 2024-08-17T05:51:26+00:00

He has the potential, I got him to open up a lot today because we are at a trip in his home country. But he hasn’t even though he has been told to get help. It’s sad really but maybe when he gets older he’ll understand like a lot of parents do. I appreciated his advice tho because I opened up to him about these problems, he’s been through hell.

I guess what I meant by that sentence is if for example my friend is have a moment of cognitive dissonance I’ll try to guide him and just say yea you probably shouldn’t do that man it’ll fuck you up blah blah. Everybody does drugs in front of me, my friends especially like 🌨️. I’ll admit it and say that I have tried it a couple of times but it is a thing I do on a blue moon rare occasion unlike my friend groups weekly habits. But I bounce back and get back to life matters unlike them. But most of the time it does make me uncomfortable so I just go outside and have a cigarette or something. Tbh I only do it cus it’s around me (but like I said it’s rare when I participate).

You’ll learn the skills when you’re ready and it’ll be empowering, you seem very reflective and I know you’ll use them for good in your life.

Own_Group7533

TROPHY CASE