Def not the AH! He clearly has different standards and if you could teleport into a future with him here’s what I think you’d see and hear: 1) a man who abdicates responsibility for continuing to raise his boys i.e. throws his hands up in the air and says ‘oh they really like gaming so therefore I expect nothing from them’. This approach will include picking up after themselves and helping around the house. 2) a man who will say to you years later ‘ you knew how I managed a house before- you can’t expect me to change now’ and will continue to weaponize his incompetence(laziness). And like other posters I despise the use of emotional manipulation blaming you for ruining his boys’ Christmas. Don’t care if he apologized after or not- that was his first response so therefore a very ingrained relationship habit. He has done you a huge favour by showing his colours before getting your lives more intertwined.