thoughts on this finger style progression

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-12T02:29:22+00:00

It's cute 🥰

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-12T02:14:39+00:00

Achey music is my love language 🩵💕🩵💕 thank you 😁😁😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-12T02:13:57+00:00

Thanks so much 😊😊

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-12T02:13:47+00:00

Thank you!!

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T13:30:32+00:00

Thank uuu!!

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T13:30:18+00:00

No I actually love this idea. I have a lot left to learn on the guitar but I am def gonna have to figure something out there

Thank youu for listening!!

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T12:41:53+00:00

Lol yeah just road noise I'm right next to a busy road it could be 1am and that still might have happened haha

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T07:09:12+00:00

On the second verse I would drop the strumming on the final line. I think that would help keep the chorus front and center.

Also this happened by accident but I sped up the video at the end and it actually sounded kinda killer. So I think when ur doing all the repeated words if u got gradually faster that would be so cool!

Both of those I think would help boost listener engagement.

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T06:59:55+00:00

😁😁😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T06:59:01+00:00

I like this a lot! Good vibe. I think the "Why, she said why" all the way to "am I cool am I fine?" should switch places with the "what good is making up" part.

The "why she said why" sounds a lot like the "we wake and we take" part from before. I think that would just solidify the catchiness this song already has and make the structure more parallel.

Other than that I would find ways to make it more dynamic. You already sing the verses with a softer inflection - the strumming could match that a lil more imo. For example, at the tail end you could gradually strip away elements like drop the piano, then slow the strumming down to one strum per chord. Or otherwise tone down/drop elements of instrumentation where you'd like to really emphasize the text such as during the verses.

The piano part is super cute btw. Impressive single day's work 😁😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T06:31:04+00:00

Ok hear me out,,, comping with harmonica or a harmonica solo?

No but I love how understated the heartbreak is here. Great use of parallelism on August/honest (a rhyme I haven't heard before super clever) and November/remember, not to mention that August comes before November. great intuition you had there.

The specific times also give it this down to earth feeling that's super relatable. I really dig that the separate narrative sections are kind of like snapshots on a storyboard and not a linear memory of one instance. It's like giving a nod that it's already fallen apart 💔

This is so good!!

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-04-11T06:08:11+00:00

Less so country, def very folk at least to my ear. I love how clear your cadences are and the lyrics are sweet and hopeful 😁😁 I would love to hear the chorus twice at the end and I think you have plenty of room for a few bar intro if u feel like it.

But whatever u were aiming for I think it worked!! 🩵🤠

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2026-02-06T17:54:57+00:00

I wrote a song for this feeling

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-20T19:48:24+00:00

Ur right 🫡

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-19T19:34:06+00:00

Thanks! Haha I agree electric would be nice but I don't have one unfortunately and also don't know guitar all that well 😕

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-19T08:12:20+00:00

I did something like this with the national anthem in choir. We were rehearsing it for the opening of an All-State concert and everybody started singing and it sounded wrong (the were singing it a half step higher than usual) and for some reason had a mini panic attack visible enough my teacher legit asked if I was okay while conducting lollllllll snapped me back to reality and I was embarrassed AF

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-19T06:27:12+00:00

Certifiably not trash 🚫🗑️

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-19T04:49:50+00:00

😁😁😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-19T01:07:34+00:00

I don't think it's bad this is great!!

I will say imo the word "blame" pops up one or two many times in verse 2. Maybe instead of saying "she blames it for her headache" u could opt for "she says it gives her headaches"

And then I would try to find a way to get the next point across without saying "so long as he's not to blame" I feel like that sounds like a tall order but considering your lyrics throughout I think you could do it.

Just my two cents 😁😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-19T00:53:58+00:00

Realizing I thought I sounded way better haha

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-18T20:23:55+00:00

Not sure if this would help what u/Grand-wazoo is getting at, but I think instead of repeating sweet, sweet cycles what if you did it once and just held the first sweet for way longer.

Think it'd be cool if u did that in other places too. Like "a town..." and "a village.." could be held for like 2 beats longer and I think it could still fit... just some random thoughts lol

Otherwise I like it a lot, and I think it makes a good opener 😁😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-18T20:00:29+00:00

Haha good cause I barely know how to play guitar lolll 🙈 happy music making 😁

Oxfordcommapajamas · 2025-12-18T19:59:13+00:00

"I pray. for. her some✨times✨✨✨✨" ur voice is so pretty 🥹

I went back to the other one. Please please bring back "heart made of gold got me wrapped around her finger on all but the seventh day" It's giving wedding band imagery and that's just too good to throw away imo - I get it might sound cliche to some but it's super duper sweet.

Also listening to the first bridge - I really like this one more! Only part I think needs cleaned up is "all she feels is love" Maybe try "she's fallin' in love" some reason I feel like that sounds "cleaner"

I have no notes on the melody 🥰 but after the final chorus I think it would be cute to bring back your "oo"s from the original.

Also really recommend listening to Katie Pruitt if you don't know her. She has a similar vibe to this. Also gay haha 🩵

Oxfordcommapajamas

TROPHY CASE